Wednesday, February 06, 2013
I don't know if this is a good thing or not.
I've been concentrating on my health/eating/fitness quite a bit lately. I have been trying to take my focus off my work, and divert it back to me. I think this is healthy -- I am really feeling some good things in my bod. But I wonder...
This whole thing is not normal for me. It's not normal for me to be unmotivated at work (I'm not organizing my thoughts -- probably because I'm not thinking about work outside the office). Also, I did something a little disturbing to me: I cancelled my enrollment in an online class.
When I say this isn't normal for me, that's an understatement. I have never, NEVER quit something before I was finished. But with looming and short deadlines, I just didn't feel like I could do it justice, so I dropped. Is this re-focusing for a time, or is this failure? Am I prioritizing, or quitting? Did I drop because I am really spread too thin, or because I'm lazy and avoiding reality?
I'm disturbed and disappointed in myself. I guess I will see how I feel tomorrow, and a couple weeks from now. I feel like I'm taking on too much, but then again, I have kind of felt like that since I can remember. I just don't know.