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Time to put on the big girl panties!

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

I've been at a loss to describe how I feel about all of this. I always thought I was fat. I was always the chubby girl. Looking back on it now, well I would love to be the weight I was when I was 20. At one time in my 20's I was relatively healthy. I could run a few miles and I would exercise regularly. Still, I always struggled with the weight. I gave birth to four little people and my body drastically changed. I always loved junk food and I always figured I could always start exercising later. The infinite later. Later when I have more time. Later when I'm not so tired. Later when my kids get older. Later...

Later is here. I went to the doctor on Monday and my blood pressure was in the prehypertension range. WHAT? Yes, I'm 32 and I have been checking my blood pressure now and it turns out I have high blood pressure. Apparently, that is what has been causing my headaches that have lasted for days at a time and has left me feeling like crap. I read the numbers off of that little machine, and when the nurse left me to wait for the doctor, I sobbed. How has it come to this? I was healthy and now look at me! I know heart disease, stroke, and heart attacks run marathons in my family. I feel guilty. How can I honestly say I love my children when I am killing their mother? I feel afraid that my body is going to scream "SCREW YOU" before I have a chance to heal it and ask for forgiveness. I'm in disbelief because I have always had low blood pressure until a couple months ago. I thought I wouldn't have to worry about this until I was at least in my 40's.

So friends, it's time to pull up the big girl panties. I HAVE TO walk past the maple bars at the coffee shop and the Oreos at the grocery store. If I love my children, I HAVE to get out there and exercise. I HAVE TO drink that vegetable and fruit juice. I HAVE TO make this a lifelong commitment. I've never been one to give up easily. I refuse to just take it as it is now.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    The best success comes from those who make small changes and stick to them. Choose to exercise for 10 minutes per day and track your streak. Choose to eat 5-7 fruit/veggie servings per day. Track your streak. You can do it and we'll be here to encourage you. :D
    1960 days ago
    At least you faced the truth when you heard it. And you're making the commitment to do whatever it takes. So congrats on both those accomplishments.

    But be aware that this isn’t going to happen overnight. You don’t learn a foreign language, or even your native tongue, overnight. It takes 3-4 months to get new beliefs programmed into you life. But, if you work at it persistently, you can be an entirely different person in one year.

    With that in mind, here are some of my favorite SP quotes that you may find helpful on your journey. I read them every day!!

    If you want something, you’ll find a way; if you don’t you’ll make an excuse.
    You get credit for what you finish, not what you start.
    A year from today, you will wish you had started today.
    You don’t get what you want. You get what you work for.
    “Wow, I really regret that workout.” No one, ever.
    You never “find” time for anything. You make time for what you value, whether or not what you value has any true value.
    Fall seven times. Stand up eight.
    Being fat is hard. Being healthy is hard. Choose your hard.
    You can make excuses or changes. Only you decide.
    What are you waiting for?
    Outside of creating awareness of your catalysts so you can avoid them in the future, why you got fat does not matter. So dump the reasons you got fat. They waste time you could use to get fit.

    Best of success to you and your family. emoticon
    1963 days ago
  • DEE1221
    One Little Baby Step At A Time! You will do fine!
    1964 days ago
    You can do it - put one foot in front of the other and make one better choice at a time. I was there a while back and I am STILL working on getting rid of the healthy problems that crept into my life when I wasn't looking. You are making a start and heading in the right direction.
    1964 days ago
  • KARBA29
    Hey - don't beat yourself up... I know how things can sneak up on you. Fact is - you went to the doc, you learned something about yourself, and you are taking action. That is good.. What a role model you will be for your kids. Sounds like you have great motivation..
    1964 days ago
    You are on your way. Half of the battle is deciding when and why to make changes.
    1964 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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