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When you won't let your husband put a photo in his office...

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

I am a middle-aged woman juggling two part time jobs and college. I used to have a 25" waist and 32" hips despite being 5'6" and big boned... I was strong, slim and a bit tom-boyish in appearance. Now my waist is bigger than my hips used to be. How did it happen? I'm not really sure. I never eat junk food. There is no defining moment that I can blame - although in 2006, after my father died, I did gain some weight.

I could just blame being middle aged, but the reality is probably that multiple small changes increased my girth over the last few years. I used to have a career that kept me on my feet; losing that probably cost me several hundred calories a day. One of my part time jobs is semi-active; the other is 100% sedentary. I traded a huge garden for an itty bitty one due to lack of time. The result of that is less home grown veggies to eat and less hard work producing them. I spend another 20 hours or so a week sitting due to school work.

The result is that when my husband puts photos of me in his own office, I was embarrassed of them because I look 4-5 months pregnant and I have the red, blotchy cheeks of someone who can't breathe well after climbing a flight of stairs. I don't look healthy anymore. I can't post a photo of myself here if I won't let him have a picture. How ridiculous is that? It's time for a change.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Ok. After reading all your comments, I added a photo. I am not clinically obese, but with each thigh now one inch less than my waist used to be, and my waist an inch larger than my hips used to be, I could be heading in that direction and I want to make a u-turn.

    I have 2 part time jobs, both of them entry-level health care while I am in school. I am surrounded by the reasons I need to make the change, but not necessarily by the best role models - I see a lot of sedentary, junk-food eating, soda-swizzling, cigarette-smoking people who clearly know better but do it anyway.

    I hate to say it, but I just could not get myself motivated. I kept saying I was going to change, but I never started. I needed this community and I am really impressed by the fact that I just posted this short blog yesterday and already received several positive, uplifting answers.

    Thank you for your kindness!
    1896 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/8/2013 2:11:19 AM
  • KA_JUN
    I can relate, I have a pic of myself from 2009 that just encapsulates everything that went wrong and how I really had not been good to myself, healthwise. Use it as motivation and a benchmark later for when you see where your progress has gotten you! Good luck! emoticon
    1897 days ago
    Congratulations on choosing to make a change. I finally realized that I could not move forward with my healthy lifestyle if I did not make a change. emoticon
    1897 days ago
  • BICKEY11
    Its like you said, just remember it wasn't ONE day or ONE thing that got you there. It happened gradually over years and it will come off gradually as well. I've always like those photo montages where people take a pic every day of thier child's life and then make a little movie out of it. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to buy a memory card, just to take a daily pic of yourself through your weight loss journey. And when the pic no longer offends you, put a big smile on and take one for your hubby.
    1897 days ago
    I am EXACTLY LIKE YOU!! Lately however, I have decided that I can't let my weight determine my happiness...I am overweight...I know that does everyone else that knows and loves isn't like looking at a picture of me people are going to say "WOW did you see how FAT Cindy is!!!"... I may NEVER be thin....I am working on myself and trying to get to a healthier weight....but I don't want to sit around and feel sorry for myself and not let myself join in the fun because I am overweight....

    I went to a wedding with my friends in November....all of my friends are skinny and built wonderful (without even trying I might add)....we had tons of pictures taken together and at 1st I thought "CRAP I don't want those pictures on facebook"...but then I remembered that we were there to celebrate Jamie...not "un-celebrate" I posted them...I tagged my friends....I even got a picture of the 5 of us blown up into a 5x7 for each of us for Christmas....SCREW it! I am me...they love me...they invited me, the overweight me, to the wedding ....they danced with me...they love me for who I am....

    That being said YOUR HUSBAND loves you....celebrate that my friend....not everyone has a husband who LOVES them!! HE is proud of YOU...if he wants a picture give it to him.....AND WE LOVE YOU TOO....POST A BRAVE....I weigh almost 300 pounds (you can't be as heavy as me)...I have a picture up...2 of them as a matter of fact....Put your picture on here....we don't care how overweight you are.....we love you for you...that is what makes spark a wonderful place.....

    I am adding you as a friend...I am going to keep bothering you until you get a picture up here!!!!
    1897 days ago
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