CARPENTERGAL

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disappointment

Monday, February 04, 2013

Today was a day of disappointments, not only did my team lose the Superbowl but i let myself lose the battle of motivation. I had told myself last night that I would workout no matter what that it was time to get back on track with all of that. But when push came to shove like the niners I couldnt deliver. I know tomorrow I will but I cant help but deal with emotions that come with not doing it tonight. I think the stress and grief I have been dealing with is just bringing me down so much. To back track a little as to why im dealing with grief right now I need to talk about my grandmother. My grandma was the best, she was such a strong woman, and just so absolutely wonderful. She was so loving and caring and had a way of making each grandchild feel so special. My grandmother battled a long time with a blood condition and underwent for the last couple of years different shots and treatments for her illness. Then the middle of last year she was told that a mass in her lungs was starting to grow, after biospy and surgery they let us know that it was cancerous and the road of chemo and radiation was in the plans. Last thursday my grandma lost the battle to cancer. I feel that with the warning we were giving that I was more prepared for the grieving process than when my father passed away unexpecatedly. So although im dealing with my feeling in a healthy way I know that the grief im feeling right now is making me very stressed and on edge. Im taking that out on my hubby and that is causing me to be disappointed again in myself, my husband is a wonderful man and deserves for me to be nicer and less short with him... im hoping in the days to come I will do much better with that. Anyways that is kinda where Im at right now.
I hope that everyone had a wonderful weekend and for everyone that has a grandma please make a note to give then a call tomorrow just to say a quick hi and i love you!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SLIMNDOWN2012
    Sorry to hear of your loss. Grief is a process that we need to work our way through. Allowing yourself the time needed to process it, might be just what you need right now. Talk about it, blog about it, you have support here. Somedays it is enough to just put one foot in front of the other.
    Praying for your comfort and for your family.
    Talk to your DH about how you feel, you might find a great source or strength and encouragement through him.
    2392 days ago
  • NIKKICOLE83
    I think it is important that you say to your husband exactly what you just said here and say it to him while you are calm and at some sort of piece so he knows you mean it. You losing your grandma is a big deal and you have the right to feel these emotions and missing a few workouts is expected. Just take care of yourself.
    2392 days ago
  • MALIAN1
    I am so sorry for your loss. It is such a rough time. Give yourself a break and just deal with the loss and try not to stress about your lack of motivation. In time you will get back on track. Please hang in there. Is there anything we can do for you?
    2392 days ago
  • STEPH-KNEE
    I am so sorry to hear about your Grandma. Even though you had time to prepare yourself for it, I'm sure it didn't make it any easier. I hope as days go by it gets easier for you to cope, and you start to feel better little by little. emoticon
    2392 days ago
  • MOTLORAC
    Grieving for the loss of a very special loved one is never easy, and does not travel along a specified trail. Be there for everyone else but also be there for you. I am very sorry for your loss, please take care. emoticon emoticon
    2392 days ago
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