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it's not a good day

Saturday, February 02, 2013

in fact it's not even a ehh day, today sucks.

i've been trying to doggy paddle my way through each day of this depression, "fake it till you make it"isn't cutting it currently.

i know it goes away, but it doesn't seem like living another day unhappy day is worth the struggle it actually is. it was my "anniversary" last weekend (the 26th) and i had to visit the rehab doctors who helped me at Harborview when i got my brain injury. they kept reiterating how they didn't think i'd ever awake from my coma but i did and I'm still here.

is it wrong of me to secretly wish my sister never found me?

i'm sorry for such a frumpy post but i cant seem to think of anything better to write about, this has been the only thing going through my head
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you everyone! I just now saw all of your uplifting comments and awesome kind words. They truly mean a lot to me

    emoticon emoticon
    1915 days ago
    I wish I knew how I got this crap! My fam/friends hadn't heard from me for a few days and I am usually a quick responder. Sister came over to my house to check on me and found me on the floor unresponsive. Spent 4 days in a medically induced coma because my brain had some massive swelling to it. My body had also gone into sepsis so my kidneys were very close to being shot. They pumped me full of joke there were iv's in every possible vein.

    when I came to I was transfered to a Skilled Nursing Facility, where I could build up some strength to go BACK to the hospital I was at to partake in their Intensive Rehabilitation.

    Had to relearn how to walk/talk/feed/change myself. It wasn't fun. I guess the only good thing to come of it was that I was totally unaware of why I was at these different places!

    They diagnosed me with leukoencephalopathy - damage to the white matter of my brain basically. There has yet to ever be an explanation as to why or how I got this very rare disease. emoticon
    1924 days ago
    I always think these thoughts are better out than in. Well done for being honest and open. These are still early days for a TBI, and I am sure that what you are feeling is normal emoticon
    1930 days ago
    emoticon Although it may not seem so now, in the future you will be glad you hung in there and plodded along.
    1932 days ago
    Big huge hugs honey. it sucks you're having a rough day and I wish I could just be an ear to listen while you vent but just remember.. when it feels like you've hit rock bottom things can only get better from there. Just be strong and try to take in all the good things in your life to try to push away the bad. emoticon
    1933 days ago
  • KIMBERLY19732
    How did you get injured? After reading your sparkpage I thought i would ask. It sounds like you are having a crap day. Sorry to hear that. emoticon
    1933 days ago
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