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Whining again

Friday, February 01, 2013

I want to thank everyone who commented on my blog and thanks for the prayers ,and help,but unfortunately I am here again to whine. Yesterday I went to curves, I love curves for allot of different reasons. One it is something I can do,location, and people I have come to know and people I can talk to. We have fun. Anyway I found out yesterday it is closing on 2-14 and the other 2 locations are to far, So I don't have a clue of what I am going to do, if it was warmer weather I would walk more as for now I will go the remaining days and walk when I can. I went to cleaned a house and got home in time to cook him diner. While I waited for him to come home I wondered what kind of mood was he going to be in? Well I shouldn't of wasted my time on that,of course I knew he was going to be in a bad mood he always is. So he came home and picked up the phone and called his mom, she lives next door, but we live in the country so it is a country door away, not a city. He asked her how she was feeling and I guess she said okay, because he said that was good. The next thing he said was, he was doing good until he was on his way to work and had a flat tire, he must of been close to a gas station ,for he said he put air in it and on break, had someone to take him to get some fix a flat. He bought the tires in the summer they were 800.00+$ tires. Yeah I couldn't even sale my car for that. Anyway he said he was going to have it checked today and I am sure he will be mad about that too. Then he told her he loved her and good bye. He came in the kitchen fixed his plate and was looking in refrigerator for something and I asked what he was looking for,he did not answer. Then it struck me, salad dressing so I told him behind the milk. We ate in silence and when he was finished , he went to bed. Silence may be golden, but it is painful too, when you wonder what you done to deserve this. Well I have done nothing, he has no right to treat me this way. I have been in relationships were I have been slapped, punched, kicked, choked , bones broken, black eyes, busted lips etc. All this that kind of pain goes way. What he is doing is abuse too, but it is abuse of the heart, mind and soul. You can only chip so much off someone's heart before it starts to harden and grow cold. When it turns cold it is not a good place. I am going to try to talk to him today and tell him these things. I am over being neglected , and walked over. I know I will hear ,you knew how I was before you married me. But that is not true ,he wasn't like this. I will tell him no, you use to laugh, come home to me, talk and have a great time. If we can't work things out I will go to my daughter's until he figures out what he wants. I just want to be treated with love and kindness, I would stand beside him in anything, if he respected me enough and treated me like his wife, not an outsider. Anyway I went to curves today. It was fun and I felt better ,than my grandson called he is 19 and he use to live here until he decided to move out, because he didn't want to follow rules, work or go to school. He wanted to come up for the week-end and I had to tell him no and why, the why being my hubby. I felt bad he said he didn't have any place to go right now he was at my father's . I know he will let him stay a few days, his mother want because they can't get along. This made me feel bad, but I told him he was grown ,he needed to look for a job and decide what he wanted in life . He could not live off people forever. Still this makes me cry, he is kind of the black sheep to everyone but me and I can't help him. I am going to throw myself into cleaning my house now, for if I don't I will sit here and cry and be consumed ,by things. Sorry to be so down in my blogs, but I don't have anyone to talk to. Thanks for listen and being here for me. Everyone here means so much to me. I have ate healthy today. I want let this get me off track. I have worked to hard to get where I am at,
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    stay strong--it sounds to me like your head is in the right place. do what you know is best for you.
    as to curves--our high school opens its weight room and gym for the community every morning--i am pretty sure it's free--just something nice they do. it might be worth a phone call to see if the high school or middle school near you does something like this. find a way to keep on--it's too important to let go.
    1931 days ago
  • MARIANNE9855
    Hang in there and whatever you decide to do- don' t eat about it! I don't have a great relationship with my husband either but after all these years I've decided that when I eat about it I just hurt myself. Is there somebody from another curves that might give you a ride at least part of the time? maybe the staff might know someone emoticon emoticon
    1933 days ago
    Yes, you DO deserve to be treated with love and respect and I am so glad you know that. It is tough I know to say no to your family, but you really need to work things out with your husband before you bring yet more stress into the situation.
    1933 days ago
    Tough love for your grandson is so hard. I'm sure his presence in your house would strain your marriage even more. This grandson needs to get a reality check for sure. Hopefully he's not on drugs, but if he is, you need to keep him away. We have these kinds of issues in my family too. I have a niece who has left her family to pursue a drug life. She has 2 nice sons aged 15 and 16 and they really miss their momma. They live with my sister and are okay, but it's still hard when your mom abandons you. Still, when she was around she stole everything she could to buy drugs with the money. Even money from my mom on my step-dad's funeral day! I wonder why your husband is so moody. I don't know what to tell you about your husband. I don't have this problem in my marriage. He is obviously not happy and behaving this way doesn't make him happy. Maybe you could point that out. You might tell him to act like happy people do: loving their wives, being grateful for the good things in life. If he starts to act happy, he might start to FEEL happy too.
    1933 days ago
    You are not whining. This is a very real issue, that I agree with you needs to be dealt with soon as possible.
    Praying for you and him. It takes 2 to keep a relationship going.
    I aslo understand your past history of abuse. There are millions of women out there just like us who have the same terrifying story. We are the survivors of abuse. We have a choice to never accept anything less than love and respect. If some one truly loves you that is just what they will give you. emoticon emoticon and prayers.
    1933 days ago
    1933 days ago
    I am no stranger to husband troubles, relationship issues, family drama or abuse. Even though I feel I can't offer you advice since I am still figuring out things myself, I can offer you lots of emoticon for I know far too well how much being treated like this hurts. i will pray for you and hope you and the husband can work things out. Please know that you do deserve to be treated well. Never ever doubt that my friend! emoticon
    1934 days ago
    HUGS You DO deserve to be treated with love and respect.
    1934 days ago
    I have also been abused by first hubby. My hubby now is a wonderful man and would never ever hurt me in any way. You should be able feel loved and happy with the one you love. I do hope the 2 of you can work this out. One of my sons was like your grandson and as much as you love them, it is hard to make them stand on their own 2 feet, but you must. Not for you, but for them. The world is not always a good place and they must learn to deal with it, be it good or bad. Do not feel bad about this. I am sure he knows you and your hubby well enough that he should not have put you in this position to begin with. I hope I was not too blunt. I also hope this helped.
    1934 days ago
    I am glad to hear you know that you are worthy of respect. Your husband, who is supposed to be your greatest friend in life, is being abusive. Of course, he may certainly not see it that way.
    When you talk to him, try not to use labels. Frame it as, when you do/say "x" it makes me feel "y". Find out if he is willing to change his behavior. If not, then you have a clear choice.
    All the best to you.
    1934 days ago
    I wish I had something that I could say, anything, that would help, but I don't. I will say a prayer for you and hope your hubby and you can talk things through. I hope things improve for you.
    1934 days ago
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