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Trying to help myself

Thursday, January 31, 2013

I'm about 4 years out from gastric bypass. I reached my lowest weight 160 while traveling to Vegas to visit a bf. It was very difficult to maintain when we broke up. I found myself very happy at 170, afterall that was a 130lb weight loss. I've been seeing a man I love beyond belief and as we've had some ups and lots of downs lately I find my weight up to 190. I have startedback to the YMCA, but a very low disability income means I can only go twice a week if that. I'm using eating at night to help me feel better. I no longer feel like cooking regular meals. Even though I see a therapist it' s slow going. I feel like I'm a mess. Away from my girls because I moved a year ago to be close to him, I feel alone, lonely. I've been reading Spark articles on motivation and emotinal eating. I decided to try blogging to help me deal with my emoions. Trying to follow my Dr's advice and keep busy, get out as much as I can, exercise and fnd friends to be with. I've set some small goals for myself. Right now I have reached all but the new one I set on here to loose weight. I do need to follow up on my volunteering at a Chamber of Comm in the next town. Again money to buy gas is a huge problem but hoping I can work it out. I laid out something last night to cook. I didn't do it. I used a gift cert at the local bar and grill to buy chili and spent evening with friends. That did help and I didn't over eat. I'm planning on cooking my supper tonight so I eat a heathy balanced meal. About 3-4 ozs of pork tenderloin, mushroon rice with cranberries. I don't eat much rice & pasta anymore but once in a while they do help stretch the food budget. I went to the Y on Tues and will go tmrw since it's payday. I work out on several machines upstairs and do that for about 40 minutes then I go downstairs and swim for about 30-40 minutes. Any longer than that I'm so sore I can't sleep. My degeranitive muscle, disk, joint etc diesease/arthritis causes me pain. I hear I'm strong, I've been through so much already. Well I get sick of having to be strong. I want that wonderful feeling of having a good man with me 24/7. I will keep working on myself, that I promise. I just can't give up.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LJOYCE55
    It sounds as if you have a strong grasp on reality and what you want. Good luck.
    1968 days ago
    You are heading the right direction! Keep your spirits high and give yourself positive self talk! emoticon
    1969 days ago
    Stay strong, rely on good friends, keep positive always!
    1969 days ago
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