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The rebuttal blog

Thursday, January 31, 2013

I wrote this as a response to someone else's blog. It was about caring for elderly parents. It stung. Everyone's life situation is different.
I decided to repost it as a blog so I'd have it for myself.

Ouch, I clicked on this because I did use/call A place for Mom. They are wonderful people and really helped me out.

I don't live in my parent's state, they have lived there 50 years. They have a great network of friends there and my brother lives there too. AND the weather for the most part is better down there.

My mom still drives. But in 2011, my dad's health fell apart. He ws diabetic and had dementia. My dad could not be left alone. We had to find a safe place for him to live. We also were concerned with how bad my mom was and thought she may need more care too. My brother and his wife both work full time. There wasn't anyway my parents could have stayed there.

Moving them up here WHICH WAS EVERYTHING I wanted in my hear to do. Wrap my momma up and bring her up here. But it would have taken her from EVERYTHING that was her life. I couldn't do that. She would have totally lost her independence.
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We found a nice place for them where they both got what they needed. My dad was on a floor that was secure and my mom was in her own apartment, but they have a cafeteria so that she can get meals. (She had gotten down to a very unhealthy 96 pounds living at home). They were in the same building so she could go and see him when ever she wanted.

Sadly my dad passed in July. But I'm so thankful my mom is in this place. She is very active, she got back some of her old spunk. She has friends, that she eats breakfast with every day. She does crafting, and exercising groups and so much more. If she were in one of our homes she would lose some of that interaction.

I Do talk to my mom several times a week. I don't get to visit as much as I like the finances just aren't there to do more.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    The issue of caring for parents as they age is much more complicated when families are spread out. Like you, taking a parent into our house would mean they would leave all of their friends, the town they know how to navigate, activities they love, churches they love.
    2942 days ago
    Enjoy the time you still have with her - even if it's a phone call. You're right, taking her away from everything wouldn't have been fair, plus it's her decision more than yours. I.m glad she has a good apartment! emoticon
    2946 days ago
    I'm glad that you found the right place for your parents. Even though your dad wasn't there long it sounds like it gave me just what he needed at the end of his life. I'm glad that your mom has the companionship and resources that she needs now. emoticon
    2946 days ago
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