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25th Wedding Anniversary- Am I still married?

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

It is my 25th wedding anniversary today. Or I should say it would have been my 25th anniversary today if Barry were still alive. Someone told me that I was still married because you get a marriage license but there and there is no license or piece of paper that says you are no longer married when your spouse dies. I had never thought of it that way. It is odd that one moment your married and the next your not... The anniversary of his death is also coming up on Feb. 17 right after Valentines Day. Not that I would have celebrated Valentines Day if he were still around and I really wasn't looking forward to "celebrating" a silver wedding anniversary with someone who had changed so much both physically and mentally. So today is just like any other day. I went to work, attended meetings, yada yada. I did mention the date to muscle man and he wanted to take me out for a drink and I accepted. When I texted to confirm though he said he was in bed sick. I need to go to Walmart for essentials anyway. Exciting, not, but necessary. With my busy workout schedule, getting the house ready to put on the market, probate and an active social life, it's rare that I can just sit on the couch and watch TV so that's what I'm going to do. Hey, I can have a party for one- no problem.
I mentioned probate- I finally got a probate attorney and called the courthouse to get copies of what I filed originally that the judge told me was wrong. I'm not asking how much this process is going to cost because if I want to sell the house I have to do it. A bonus is that I will be legally able to request copies of the credit card statements that he was shredding. I should be able to get some answers as to his whereabouts and activities by looking at the statements. That should give me some closure.

Personal training/workout update
I went to a Zumbathon last weekend and I did my "on my own" weight training assignments and that really kicked my fitness up a couple notches. It's crazy but I actually have visible biceps (when I flex) and calf muscles for the first time in my life- at age 50?? Crazy! I never thought that I would get nasty sweaty from strength training but this guy works me out hard! I only do like a 5-7 minute warmup on the elliptical so it's not the cardio that's making me break a sweat- it's the planking, the bicep curls, the pushups on the Bosu ball, the hack squats and the medicine ball that are causing this. I do the exercises with so little rest between sets and at such intensity that I am totally out of breath- worse than Zumba! Now when I'm in Zumba I notice that I squat lower than most people and jump a lot more than my classmates. My trainer asked my Zumba teacher how I was doing and she said, "Kathy? She runs all over the place!" emoticon I guess I must be impressing him with my pushups and planks because he high fived me a couple of times. He had to give up a bunch of his clients since he's starting a teaching job and I was one of only six that he kept out of 22. He says he's invested in me. He's a very sweet kid of 23. Yesterday was my first 30 minute workout. I had been doing 55 minute sessions about once a week. The 30 minute workout is very intense and I liked it alot! You don't get to work out as many muscle groups in a session but I'm to the point now where I know what to do on my own. He's just there to motivate and push me. I LOVE having muscles!! Open the pickle jar? No problem! Lift something heavy with no man around? I got it! I'm so glad that 24 fitness offered me that free 50 min training session and three sessions for $69. That was a really good deal and helped me justify buying more sessions as a Christmas present to myself. It's cheaper than plastic surgery. Besides, liposuction doesn't give you muscle definition and better health. Once I get my strength up a little more I would like to work towards a pole fitness class. I can't stop thinking about it ever since I went to the Bridal Extraveganza and saw the demo there. I'm on the email list. It just looks like so much fun and another way to get my confidence up. Yes, I really am shy about stuff like that. I still avoid the mirror in Zumba even though I'm a front row girl. Signing off for now...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I just read this blog and the first thing I thought of was "oh my goodness this means my husband now is married to two wife's!" LOL His 1st wife passed away a while ago and I know he didn't date for a few years. I'm glad that you are out there and living life....from the tone of your blog in intro on your page you deserve that and SO much more!!
    1847 days ago
  • MARIANNE9855
    wonderful- you must be so proud of yourself. I am working up to trying zumba- I have a friend who does a low impact on Sundays so I think I will try it during the next 4-6 weeks. emoticon
    1887 days ago
    Wow you have had a very difficult journey, and I am impressed by your independence and ability to move forward. For me -- the question is do you WANT to consider yourself married? Or do you consider yourself single? It is really hard to assess which is best for you. Personally I would be thinking of myself as single. Good luck with the home sale!

    I LOVE Zumba too! My favorite teacher is an older guy who teaches Zumba gold, he makes it fun and entertaining!
    1900 days ago
    Bless you, bless you, and triple bless you! I'm just SO proud of how you have picked yourself up to carry on! It AIN'T easy...I'll be the first to say...but the scheme of things what choice do we really have?

    I'm here for you new sparky can take that to the bank! emoticon
    1904 days ago
    Ok, is the guy in the picture hunky muscle guy?? He's a cutie!! Great job Kathy!! You are doing amazing! I'm so impressed! I just started doing yoga again, hoping to get some of those muscles too!! Keep up the great work. And am glad that you are dealing with the probate stuff. You will soon be able to move past some of that!! Enjoy this beautiful weather!!
    1910 days ago
    You are SUCH an inspiration! You remind me of a quote I heard recently. "Life begins on the edge of your comfort zone". I know for me, that ended up being true. You sound like you are finding the you that was there all along but hadn't popped up to say Hi in a while. You sound like you are hitting your stride. How awesome we all get to come along on the ride with you!!!!

    1910 days ago
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