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A public service announcment for the ladies

Tuesday, January 29, 2013


(Guys, you can skip this one)


For the love of human decency, if you feel the need to "hover" like a UFO over the toilet seat and are simply too busy or lazy to use the disposable seat covers located exactly 1 foot to the right of the toilet, realize this: The goal is to go IN the toilet, not ON it. You are not a sprinkler system and the toilet is not on fire. I don't know how you manage to achieve such a feat without peeing all over yourself as well, but apparently you can.

IF you cannot control your flow and wind up making a mess, then take the FIVE SECONDS it requires to grab some TP and wipe the seat. I realize that you are a busy woman, and that you have things to do and other fires to put out, but I swear to you the world will not end if you take a moment to do this. The other restroom users do not need a present or evidence that you were able to potty like a big girl. It only makes us wish that such things were a crime punishable by public diapering.

SERIOUSLY. This is disgusting. If I see a woman do this, I will have no issue with public shaming in the restroom and on the internet. My CATS have better aim than you do.

Thank you for being an adult,

An aggravated public restroom user

Edited to say: I am digging the additional PSAs in the comments. If you feel the need to make one, go for it!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh! We can add our own PSA's? Just because it comes in your size does not mean that you should wear it.
    This is coming from a chick who is in a size 24 jeans and at one point 7 years ago tomorrow, wore a snug 26/28 sweatpants.
    1900 days ago
    I couldn't agree more. It's appalling how many grown ash women are so slack!!! I mean SERIOUSLY??? You wouldn't have to be so grossed out if every woman would just make sure to be careful!!! I have NIGHTMARES about going into a disgusting public restroom, and really having to go potty. That's usually my cue to get up and go to the bathroom.
    1900 days ago
  • KATYDID412
    Amen, sister!

    Your blog and the comments have made me cackle like a crazy lady.
    1903 days ago
    1903 days ago
    BAMAJAM - True story. Especially with the current flu season being so horrible, you'd think people would at least wash their hands to prevent that. Ugh.

    ANDYLIN90 - I've been in so many bathrooms where outdoors in the woods is a lot cleaner option.

    MRLDCTYGRL - "We're in Target" LOVE IT! And that makes me think twice for whenever I take a package from a UPS or FedEx worker. Yikes.

    CANDICE293 - That seems to be an issue with some men. Thankfully, while men cheating has been an issue for me, seat tinkle hasn't ;)

    LULUBELLE65 - Don't get me started on the inability to properly dispose of a tampon. Baby steps here ;) And that train Just wow. Rats and poop. I would've died, and I am not a clean freak by any stretch.

    LOLATURTLE - I seriously thought about printing out this PSA and taping it to every bathroom stall at work. Your description of what not to put on the seat gave me visual imagery that is both terrifying and hilarious. And I agree with the "everyone poops" as well. As long as you hit the target (aka toilet) and you properly clean up, you have to expect public toilets are used for things other than pee. I'm not saying it's a preferable odor, but sometimes people have to just go. I'm not saying spread your stink out in public bathrooms because you don't want to go at home, but I forgive people the occasional "need to go right NOW or I will poop myself" moments.

    HFAYE81 - OMG. I never thought of that. I didn't realize that was such a common pastime for some men, much less it happening at B&N. I used to work in the basement of library, in the goverNment documents section. I HATED going to the very back to this one small room for old law books. That was apparently a frequented spot for patrons to hide during their personal enjoyment time. Even if you didn't catch one in the act, what they left behind was DISGUSTING!
    1905 days ago
  • HFAYE81
    I used to work at Barnes and Noble, and the mens restroom had to be cleaned twice a cleaned I mean someone had to clean the nudie mags out of the toilet where someone had tried to flush the "used"pages down the toilet.

    Twice a day. EVERY day.
    1905 days ago
    This, and all the comments, made me laugh so hard I started coughing. AMAZING.

    And so true. I'm with Candice - office bathrooms are as bad or worse than public ones!!

    MRLDCTYGRL, you are killing me. KILLING. Target! HA!!!

    We have a lot of "hover" people at my work. It's been better lately, but for a while I was contemplating passive aggressive signage in the stalls. I usually just wipe the seat and use it. There is nothing dry/wiped away urine can possibly do to the back of my thighs. Seriously, who is rubbing their more open/membrane parts on the seat, that they are scared of "catching" something???? If your vulva is touching the seat, you're doing it wrong. It should be your thighs, which unless you have giant open wounds on them, you are not catching anything. RELAX. There are no raging cases of antibiotic resistant thigh chlamydia spreading around. Jeez.

    Anyway, one day I was fed up with having to wipe a seat EVERY TIME, so I bypassed the first sprinkled stall and used one further down. Someone came in after me, went into that stall, peed, washed hands, and left. I peeked in the stall when I came out of mine: THE SPRINKLES WERE STILL THERE. So not only did she not wipe, she hovered over the previous hover!!!

    My PSA: Dear people who do this: Yes, I look at your shoes under the bottom of the door and make a note of them. The door is not saving you. I totally know who is gross.

    My other biggest public bathroom annoyance ever was a public restroom. I think it was somewhere insanely busy, like, you're lucky they even HAVE bathrooms, like Faneuil Hall in Boston, in the middle of summer. Anyway I was waiting in line to pee, and this woman in front of me was complaining VERY LOUDLY and immaturely about how the bathroom smelled. Granted, no, it was not daisy fresh or anything, but it wasn't like "hasn't been cleaned in years" smelly, it was like, "someone went #2 in the last 30 minutes". I just wanted to go, "really?? Seriously?" If you're that horrified that a room full of toilets smells faintly of doody, you probably should just go lock your doors and never leave the house. What are you, twelve? Get a grip, lady. Like I'm so sure yours smells of freshly baked cinnamon buns. Get over yourself.

    I hate that women aren't supposed to have body functions mentality. Grow up. Everyone poops. Your loud complaints aren't convincing anyone that you're a magical princess who only farts glitter and rainbows, so shut up and wait outside if you're so dainty.

    PSA #2 (ha! see what I did there???): Dear everyone: Bathrooms are for peeing, and yes, farting and pooping. Even public bathrooms. Get over it.
    1905 days ago
  • KIMBERLY19732
    We are on the same page with this I find the pee on the seat SOoooooo AnnOying! emoticon
    1905 days ago
    I've also worked in retail and seen the smeared and sprayed poop on the walls, as well as one time a used tampon left in a clothing fitting room! emoticon People are disgusting.

    The worst public bathroom I have ever experienced was on a night train in India. We were in a first class car, which you think would maybe be ok, but no, in addition to the RATS in the train, one of the other passengers pooped all over the toilet seat and then just left it--so it was unusable, and smelled up the entire train car.
    1906 days ago
  • CANDICE293
    I like this PSA. I think the guys could have a read too my BF always seems to tinkle a little on the seat and never wipes it up. Ick! I have some horror stories of my own from cleaning fast food restaurant bathrooms and office building bathrooms and surprisingly the office building bathrooms are the worse....
    1906 days ago
    I never understood the whole hovering thing. I figure my chances of getting the herp from a toilet seat are pretty darn slim, so I just pop a squat as long as it looks relatively clean. I REALLY hate going into public restrooms and finding 4/5 toilets clogged with massive ammounts of TP or bloody feminine products. Some people weren't raised right, I swear :(

    I have plenty of horror stories from having to clean a public restroom when working retail, but really.. the worst story comes from a freind of a freind who had to clean up an unholy mess at a Barnes& Noble once. Poor girl walked in for a regular bathroom check, and found the 8th circle of hell in stall #2.

    From what she could tell, someone had leaned forward and sprayed diahhrea all over the walls. The splatter was nearly up to the ceiling. WHYYYYYY I mean.. WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DO THAT?? Seriously, if it were me, I would have quit then and there. That's biohazard, yo!
    1907 days ago
    SERIOUSLY. Amen sister. I once walked into a stall at Target that had just been vacated by a gal in her UPS uniform. Absolutely disgusting mess. I actually had the presence of mind to holler at her: "Are you kidding me? Since when does UPS stand for You Pee on the Seat?! And we're in TARGET for crying out loud, one assumes you can AIM!" OY. She hustled out without washing too. EW. Not even a "sorry".
    1907 days ago
    Right on!!!
    1907 days ago
    When a restroom is disgusting, it makes me wish I was in the wilderness where everything is pristine and it's so much easier to urinate in comfort.
    1907 days ago
    -----Another disgusting thing--- since we are on this subject:

    So many folks have NO IDEA WHY A SINK is installed in the restrooms!!!!
    1907 days ago
    You are right on all accounts. Why do people have such poor manners?
    1907 days ago
    Well BUSYBEE37, maybe the guys SHOULD read this one.

    LITTLE_QUEEN, I always think the person on the cell phone is trying to have an awkward conversation with me. I hate that!

    CHEETARA79 - 100% agree with that. There are some things that should just be illegal and that's one of them.
    1907 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/29/2013 5:10:44 PM
    My PSA:

    1907 days ago
    yes this is so true, i am kind of one of those that hates using a public restroom anyway and just plain appalled at some of the things i have seen and i also have another complaint for this, why on earth does someone have to talk on a cell phone while using a public restroom, i don't feel like i can go when people are doing that, as i dont want some stranger to hear me, lol
    1907 days ago
    Holy crap, I think I split a seam laughing at this.

    I agree wholeheartedly! My cats have better aim, too. :p
    1908 days ago
    Totally true! They say men are disgusting when they use the toilet, but I think they have underestimated our sex. How difficult it to wipe the seat???
    1908 days ago
    100% agree. It's called being a decent human being.
    1908 days ago
    Yeah, that's disgusting. Also, when they use a seat cover and can't seem to make sure it goes down the comoode. Not rocket science is it.

    I had to get after the BF's son last year. He didn't life the seat and sprinkled all over it. Guess who didn't see it and used the toilet. Yep, Me.

    He will not be forgetting that tongue lashing any time soon. Now he lifts the seat every time, but often forgets to put it back down. I can handle that better than suddenly realizing I've just sat in someone else's pee. Ick.

    Bathroom etiquite. Don't you appreciate a good, clean, restroom!
    1908 days ago
    I totally agree!
    1908 days ago
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