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What Will My Life Be Like?

Monday, January 28, 2013

I wonder. What kind of new things will I do? Time will tell. Will I return to activities I liked in the past? Maybe. Will I become a runner? Possibly.

This assignment is difficult for me. I have really never been thin or what I would call healthy so I don't have a frame of reference. I do know that when I was younger, I loved to roller skate and I rode my bike. Those are things I would like to do again.

What I do know is that I want to be able to fit into any seat without my rear spilling over the sides or being smashed painfully in the seat. I want to be able to go on rides at amusement parks and airplanes without having to use an extender. Those are things I know will change when I lose the weight. Those things will happen.

I know that my thighs won't rub together. The flying squirrels will lose their ablility to fly and attack. Okay I am really looking forward to that. The globulous will be gone and not hanging in the way. I will be able to see my feet any time I look down.

I will be able to ride a bike and not have the seat kill my butt. I will be able to get out and hike and walk without problems. Okay so I don't know if that is something I will want to do but I know I will be able to do it if I choose to do it.

As the weight comes off, I will be able to go into stores and by regular sized clothes off the rack. I will be able to buy fashionable clothes instead of clothes that seem to be made for older women. Okay I know that there are stores out there that sell more fashionable clothes for plus-sized women but honey, let's be honest, they are few and far between for those of us that live in a small town in the middle of no where. Okay and let's not forget that the price is at least 3 times more for those clothes. Oh yes, I know that there are online options but I don't know about anyone else, but I have to try things on and I don't like to order and then return things all the time.

Okay back to how my life will change when I lose the weight.

I won't have to use a cpap machine. I won't have to take medicines for illnesses (except the thyroid hormone) I will be able to take the stairs and not have to stop several times to catch my breath. I will be able to get in and out of cars with ease. I will be able to run and play with Marlie and not be gasping for air and telling her to wait for grandma. I won't have the constant swelling in my feet, legs and hands. Woo hoo - I am so looking forward to that.

Things that I hope will change as I lose the weight -

emoticon emoticon emoticon Okay my hubby isn't a terrible person. Most of what I am about to say is just my feelings that I have projected on him. Please don't blast me about my hubby. I am not going to go into all the explanation of why he isn't a great communicator, or that he doesn't understand what it is like, or that his family...well you get the picture. If you are about to leave a comment that he isn't worthy of me or that he is a a loser, DON'T! That isn't the case and since no one here really knows him (except my mom and daughter), there should be no reason to comment. Any negative comments about my husband will be deleted! Thanks

I want my husband to look at me and actually say "wow you look great" or "you look sexy" and not just "that's okay or pretty good". I want to go out on the town to nice dinners and the movies without having to worry about what type of chairs or tables they have. I want to feel like he is proud to have me on his arm.

I hope to have more confidence in myself. I want to walk tall and confident. I won't be worrying about what everyone else is thinking or saying about me. I won't even care. I want to be able to work again and be confident in my abilities. I hope to be able to wear all kinds of sexy strappy shoes. Okay, I know some of you may not understand that one but I haven't worn heels in FOREVER!

I hope to finally look at myself and see the person that I know is inside.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KIPPER15
    emoticon I hear and understand every thing you put down here, inculding the husband part. I too want my husband to be proud to show me off. emoticon
    2820 days ago
    You can and will accomplish all those things!!! One day at a time!!!
    2824 days ago
    emoticon you are doing some serious work, clearing out the "lies" to get to the real you, it will feel raw and it will feel different but wear it and love it and it will become real.
    See the goal and know that you are so worthy of all the greatness that love and life has to offer.
    2825 days ago
    It is hard to image a thin life, but you have been able to capture your dream in this blog! I am almost as excited as you are for all the wonderful things that await you as you continue your journey.
    Keep up the good fight and you WILL achieve your goals!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2825 days ago
    Alright, I don't know if seeing the... feet is a plus, but I can see what you are saying LOL. I, just like you, have no frame of reference. I have no idea what it's like to even be in Onederland as an adult. We have so much ahead of us and all these new things to explore it is exciting. Being able to sit in any chair without fear of fitting or anything like that is definitely a huge perk! And you are well on your way my friend! emoticon You were cracking me up with the flying squirrels stuff, definitely a HUGE perk! emoticon ... notice the lack of squirrels. emoticon

    Huge yay for all the medical changes, but bigger yay for the FUN changes, like being able to keep up with Marlie, that is one of the best perks I've ever heard. emoticon

    Love the disclaimer about hubby emoticon I know all about projecting feelings, so I totally understand everything you are saying and I know you will get there and get your swagger and confidence back! emoticon emoticon
    2826 days ago
    Okay, Susan, when you and I are rocking the stylish clothes and sexy strappy shoes, and doing active things we haven't done in a long time, we will (without saying a word) be the hook in the mouth for your sister. We love her the way she is, just as we love each other the way we are, but she won't be able to stand it !! Yea! Let's both work really hard right now, so when you come this way again, we can do something active that we haven't done before. Jay has Zumba on his X-Box. Maybe we could do that. Whoooooa!
    Love seeing 2 new blogs on one day!
    Mom emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2826 days ago
    You will accomplish everything you dream of, Susan. Great blog! Do you have a picture board of this to look at? I imagine your picture board would have some of those clothes & strappy shoes you want to fit into. :D Hugs!
    2826 days ago
  • LINDAK25
    That sounds good to me, too. Let's do it!
    2826 days ago
    excellent blog
    2826 days ago
    We are this journey together and we can do it!
    2826 days ago
    2826 days ago
    Although beauty is skin deep, you have the ability to make your dreams come true.

    2826 days ago
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