Finding what makes me tick (eat)

Monday, January 28, 2013

I have found that whenever I am feeling overwhelmed I want to eat -and it’s not healthy stuff I crave. I want chocolate, pizza, anything greasy or sweet I can get my hands on. I’m not sure if the feeling of being full is what helps or if it’s the feeling of being in control. Why do I get like this?

Today we had to take one of our cats to the vet and we really thought we were going to lose him. It was mostly disheartening was that we would be able to save his life if we had enough money. I felt beyond horrible that because I do not have the money to care for him, therefore he would have to die. The surgery was going to be over 1200 – which we do not really have. By some miracle though, he pulled through, and it ended up being only a couple of hundred. It really scared me though because the problem can occur at anytime again!

After the incident and after many tears all I wanted to do was eat and I wasn’t necessarily hungry. I mostly prevented it. We ended up going to the dreaded MCD but I only got a small cheeseburger with no fries or drink. After several hours passed my husband wanted pizza and I caved in.

I weighed myself today and I am 284.8 which still means I am on target for my weight loss despite my lack of exercise and eating properly. I am still feeling kind of down today which I hope passes.

I am not trying to turn this blog into one where I whine and stuff. It’s just that, lots of times, being overweight is linked to emotional problems. This journey is going to be very emotional so it’ll be nice to keep in check my emotions and feelings going through this journey. Lots will be happy times and many will be sad. I hope you (whoever reads this) enjoys taking apart of this journey with me. I hope I can look back on this someday and get an idea how much I went through on this journey and when I went through what – if that makes sense.

From my personal blog: kristensbigfatjo
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
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    Happy about your cat! You are doing great! Spark On!
    1943 days ago
    Thanks for the comments! Oubache- he was actually about to have surgery to unblock him.. We literally dropped him off at the Purdue ER and were paying the deposit for his surgery when they ran out to tell us he finally urinated. They said it was a long stream (sorry TMI) and must have unblocked himself! They said it could happen again, because it's common in cats who get bladder crystals. This isn't the first time it has happened to him! I have 2 cats, a dog, and 2 ferrets... They are my children as well! The thought of losing one of them yesterday broke my heart.. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Today Sparta is going back to our regular vet to get another check up, and so far he's mostly just on pain meds.
    1944 days ago
    I'm glad your cat pulled through. By any chance does your cat need the surgery to help him pass crystals that form in his urine? If so, send me Sparkmail because I can give some advice that might really be helpful. I have 4 cats and a dog myself. and they really are family. As far as turning to food for support, try to always have healthy, snackable food on hand, like grape tomatoes, carrot sticks. popcorn, etc. That way, when you must eat, there are things you can eat that will satisfy you without wrecking your calorie count for the day. You may think these things cost too much, but it really is cheaper to have these things on hand than to buy chips, pizza, donuts, etc., because you are satisfied with less and they don't harm your body. Good luck to you! You really are on a journey but it will be worth all the work.
    1944 days ago
    Starting my day with a moment of positive reinforcement always helps.
    Smile! Your troubles will go away eventually. Keep the faith.

    Good luck! You can do it!!!!!
    1944 days ago
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