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Mired in Questions

Sunday, January 27, 2013

I would post a lie today if I tracked my weight. Why? Well, I've already been on the scale. And, I knew what it was going to show. I knew it. I knew when I fixed and ate the Hamburger Helper Lasagna. But, I didn't want the hamburger to go to waste! Instead it went to MY WAIST! So, I decided that instead of showing a gain, I would simply not track my all...on tomorrow...not until next Sunday. And then, if I still haven't lost, well, I don't know what I will do. Oh I know, many have gained and still tracked. But, I'm one of those people who will beat myself up over those pounds that once were lost but now are found. Wait, isn't that a song? emoticon

I'm very upset with myself. I've been trying very hard to exercise but I've found that what I enjoy, dancing for exercise, has increased the pain in my back where the fusion is and I can't walk straight up. My other blog post about dancing still holds true, I love it. Unfortunately, it doesn't love me. Or maybe I just did too much. Will I ever get in my groove? emoticon

My background quote says, "You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." by Louise L. Hay. I don't know how to approve of myself. I only know how to criticize myself. I'm aware of things that I can do well but even those suffer my own criticism. Will I ever receive my own approval? emoticon

I know many of you who read my blogs wonder why one post is up and one post is down. I'm not bipolar. But, I do suffer from depression. Sometimes I wonder if I have a touch of bipolar but I don't have those wild sweeping moods. And I think that's one of the many reasons why I have failed in so many different things including weight loss/becoming healthy. Will I ever succeed? emoticon

What more can I do? emoticon How does this train engine stay on track? I want to be a dazzling Sparkler emoticon , not one that simply fizzles out. emoticon

Will you please help me? emoticon

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh, I can identify with what you are saying. I, too, am easily discouraged and don't always do what I should, especially with exercising. I also snack too much when I am in the kitchen or when I am bored. I need to work on making me better, but also love the me I am right now.

    I wish you well. If you come up with some great ideas to love yourself, please pass them on.
    2241 days ago
  • JMC155
    You are not alone. If you could go back and see my different weight posts, you would find up and down. Right now, I am back to the weight I was Thanksgiving weekend. To be honest I have had moments where I wonder how can I go almost 2 months and be in the same spot. Up a few, then down a few and back up for 2 months.

    Find something anything that you feel good about. Make that the focus. When I started back again last summer, my positive was each oz, yes I said oz of water I drank. I hated water, never drank water. So one 8 oz glass was alot to me, the thought of 8 glass was scary. That was my focus, and the thought was well if I am doing that lets add some exercise. The videos for seated exercises are great.

    Don't be to hard on yourself. Give yourself credit, I know that is hard to do. I to have to look hard to find things I haven't failed at. But others can tell me several. I am sure you are the sameway.

    2244 days ago
    The best way to be a successful sparker is to never give up even if your weight isn't on the decline! I eat Hamburger Helper now and then. I always cut up an onion and some celery in it. It's good with a can of tomatoes too, or some frozen peas. This way you also get some veggies in with the processed food and meat. Try the step aerobics on Wii Fit when you get the urge to dance. It's not very strenuous. I wish I had more Wii Fit step aerobic routines and some risers for my balance board. I think some step routines can be downloaded off the internet using the Wii, and risers can be had at, someday I might actually buy these things. You didn't get to the weight you are getting away from overnight and that lifetime of habits is hard to change, but don't give up!
    2244 days ago
  • BEEJAY49
    Just start by loving yourself the way you are. Nope, it's not easy, but you can do it. Being depressed one moment and up the next is so normal for all of us. You are NOT alone. You are a beautiful woman and you radiate that in your smile! You can do this! When you get up in the mornings give yourself a big hug and tell yourself out loud that you are going to be the best you can today and you are a beautiful woman! Love you! HUGS!
    2244 days ago
    I hope you are getting enough sleep. Sleep really helps me lose weight and when I get enough sleep I don't over eat or hurt as bad. Just a thought!! We need the rest that sleep brings to our bodies and restores us for the next day!! So make sure you are getting your emoticon Have a great Sunday!!
    2245 days ago
    i don't know if this will make sense, but one thing i've learned is that when it comes to me, i just can't trust myself to think right or do right. i would never treat my friends like i do myself--if i did, i wouldn't have ANY friends. what i have learned since i joined SP is that keeping a watch on my thoughts toward myself is the best way to find success. generally, my best course of action is to do the opposite of my natural inclination. i have to sorta step outside myself, think about how i would respond to a friend in a similar situation, then willfully do that towards myself. i have no natural/inborn love of myself, (it's rather the opposite), but i know it's unhealthy, destructive and just wrong, so i have to "fake it until i make it." i still don't feel self-love, but since i've changed how i treat myself, i am a lot less unhappy. it's hard to fight the nasty things other people say, but when you're the one giving yourself a constant barrage of wretched comments, there's no way out.
    there is so much to learn...sometimes you have to step back a bit from focusing on weight loss and give yourself time to emotionally process and heal. (not to binge and gain it all back, but to just maintain). be gentle with yourself. one day of overeating may lengthen your journey, but if you keep plugging along, you'll eventually arrive at a healthy happy weight--it may not look like you thought it would, but if you're happily active, eating mostly healthy foods, and thinking truthfully about yourself, that would be so much better than "thin," wouldn't it? emoticon
    2245 days ago
    Approve of yourself? What was that again? I always criticize myself, too. Weird stuff, that!
    2245 days ago
  • no profile photo EVIE4NOW
    You can have hamburger helper, just remember portion control. Drink a BIG glass of water while it's cooking to help you with that. And, make a big salad to go with it. Everybody has bumps in the road on their journey, consider this past week yours and move on.
    emoticon emoticon
    2245 days ago
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