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Thoughts on a snowy morning in Indiana

Saturday, January 26, 2013

I'm feeling sad this morning. I'm not sure why but I thought if I wrote a little, maybe it would come out through my words. I am melancholy by nature and, as everyone, have my life has It's "ups and downs". Today I woke up and everything hurt: my fingers and hands, my wrists, my thighs, my knees (always) and tops of my feet. That last body part told me it was the lovely sodium which has been over the top the last two days!! Plus I KNOW when the body hurts and the sodium is up, there will (once again) be NO WEIGHT LOSS. Just like last week.

Ok, I'm not positive of that about the weight loss and, of course, that is why God gave us lemons (to squeeze and put in water -- not to make lemonade, which I don't really like).

My dreams were bad last night. Colorful and vivid but fully detailed and so scary. It is a Southern legacy (as I am from Texas and my mother from Mississippi -- not because Indiana is a Southern place)to believe in one's dreams and see them as things to come. This belief not only makes them only more powerful and SEEM possible. They also show me all my mistakes as I taught yesterday, this week, and in my personal life. This only leads to more self doubt and worry.

THEN the Spark Fitness said AGAIN (!!) "eating more calories may seem counterintuitive but can aid in weight loss". IDK!! WHAT!! I think this is a pattern in my life (going back, doing it over because I went too fast). And I think "Datgumit! Why can't I just 'eat and lose' like when I was in my twenties!!" And then the (seriously) "poor me" sets in.

I know there are many, many more people in MUCH more dire straits than this silly, stupid little problem. So, in deference to my late father, I will strive to "make haste slowly" and go clean my house (cleaning is one of my joys and a form of physical therapy to me -- no, not anyone else's house, just mine. Seriously, it is glorious). And I'm going to read more Spark article in order to learn. And I'm going to focus on the fact that I still love snow and Indiana.

And that's all I've got right now. It has been really nice to get to say all this. Hope it didn't feel too much like a sad, sob story. I hope we can talk again soon. Still love this site and the many ways it lifts so many in a positive, healthy way.
"Ten mucho cuidado" means "take good care"!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Keep up the good work! You will overcome your obstacles and when you do, look back and say I DID IT!!

    Celebrate even the little victories!!! emoticon
    1902 days ago
    It's going to move off . Keep up the good work. emoticon
    1908 days ago
    I like that you're trying to keep a positive focus despite your obstacles, and are focusing on what you can do rather than can't (cleaning as a form of physical therapy). Burning calories while doing something you feel is glorious deserves a emoticon . !

    Keep your positive focus. We all trip and fall, but picking ourselves up- that's where we show our muster. It's in your mindset where you either pick up and keep going, or stay down.

    1909 days ago
    You know....no matter how sad & melancholy you are feeling, I think its good to get it all out. Sharing with your friends here is a start and coming to terms with your feelings is progress. No matter how slow the process......strive for progress not perfection....babysteps. Thanks for sharing!

    1909 days ago
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