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Motivation transition

Saturday, January 26, 2013

For all of 2012, as I did event after event, I invoked two names at the starting lines. One was my sister in law's, the other my son's. Son is now safely stateside. Sister in law has passed at long last, peacefully with her daughter by her side.

This morning, when I leave the front door for my long run, my training run... it will be with her on my mind. The workout today, is in her honor and memory.

A strange transition has happened for me mentally in these, the Spark years. Some "bad things" have happened around me, I won't repeat them or count them, over these years.

In some years (my youth and young adulthood) I let bad things that happened paralyze me... I sank into myself, with the food, felt bad for those who were affected, but used this odd form of self-punishment as my way to feel a common bond, I guess. Because I felt bad that the bad thing happened to someone else, and guilty that it was them and not me. Warped, yeah.

Some people learn this lesson early, and it is a natural part of them. For me, it had to happen after age 50. We learn our lessons in our own order. Lesson one is the recognition that I can't wish bad things away. They are a part of life. I can't undo bad things that have happened. Lesson two is the "what can I do?" part: I can go forward to honor those who have suffered or are suffering. I can't live their lives for them. But I can hold them in my heart and do the things I can.

I need to take care of myself to do those things. And in the end, I run because I can. But I can run *for* those who cannot. Whole different mind set.

And it honors both that life is good, and that the bad is mixed in, and it's OK. Spark on, dear friends. Take care of yourselves, and honor LIFE! Namaste.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CONCHA77
    Wonderful blog, Barb. Thank You. Know I am thinking of you and rooting you on. Hugs emoticon .
    1972 days ago
    I am still in the state where I feel ashamed for surviving while other suffers...great blog!
    1973 days ago
    Here's to running because you can - I can't think of a better reason!
    1973 days ago
    What a nice way to honor your family and loved ones.
    1974 days ago
    Running helps to deal with the challenges life throws at us. We can choose to eat, get depressed or run with joy. I choose run with joy. Running for me is usually a spiritual time.
    1974 days ago
    Honor life!! Love your message, Barb! Yes, we honor life by living it for those who can't; by running for those who can't. So glad you are running. It is such a freeing and glorious thing to run in your 6th decade. It makes me laugh and gives me great joy; and you, too, I suspect.

    There have been times that bad things have overwhelmed me and I have fallen into food without thinking, and looking for a way not to think, looking for comfort. I have not been tested like you have since adopting my healthy lifestyle. I think and hope I've found better ways of coping that will get me though those inevitable tough times. I'm sure time will tell and I'll think of you, coming through, in victory!

    1974 days ago
    I didn't learn some of this until late 40's/ and 50's. Sometimes I have to stop and relearn.
    1974 days ago
    Namaste. emoticon emoticon
    1974 days ago
    Hope you had a good run. emoticon
    1975 days ago
    What great analogy and true too. Takes us all diff times and ways to learn lifes lessons. I was going to explain something I used to do but don't know how to write it. LOL oh well not important.
    Hope you had a great run and good memories to go along with it.
    1975 days ago
  • DALID414
    Namaste emoticon
    1975 days ago
  • GABY1948
    What a beautiful and heartfelt blog, Barb. THANKS!
    1975 days ago
    Wow, you have sparked me!
    1975 days ago
    I hope your run was fruitful: both physically and spiritually. For me, those are the best ones. I can recall more than a few with tears streaming down my face, feeling grateful for the time alone to sort out the stuff. The run becomes the conduit for something more powerful.

    All the same, I will think of you often, today, and that beautiful picture that you posted of your sister and sister-in-law and your nieces. The world is a giant, mystical net and I will do my best to send loving, powerful signals your way.
    1975 days ago
    To stop learning is to stop living - your star shines, Barb...
    1975 days ago
    Life is joy and pain . . . and we honour those we love most who are experiencing pain by living our lives with the joy they once had. Because otherwise life has no meaning.

    So glad your son is safe. So glad you have your motivation back in hand . . . that motivation thing is always in transition!!
    1975 days ago
    I am so sorry or your loss but good that she is no longer suffering. Thoughts and prayers.
    1975 days ago
  • MIRAGE727
    G'Morning Barb! Interesting that I posted that photo sign on my last blog. I've always embraced that sentiment. Thanks for sharing. I truly believe that we realize a healthy body, mind, and spirit when we embrace our Journey's lifestyle! You also show that we inspire and motivate others as well. D & I are so happy we had the opportunity to meet you in real time. Hope to see you soon. Namaste.
    1975 days ago
  • ANDI571
    We never get to old to learn, do we? I have often said, if anything happens to me, live the life I no longer can. Go for it, and have a great run!
    1975 days ago
  • _LINDA
    So very sorry for your loss, but relieved her suffering is over. You do honor her memory By living your life the healthiest you can and taking advantage of using a body that is working fine, nourishing it well and challenging it with feats of fitness to ensure you will have healthy bones and a healthy heart and will live a long time!
    Enjoy your run and enjoy that body that works so beautifully and carries you to wherever you want to go without pain, discomfort or any issues. Yes, you do run for those that can't and inspire those of us that can't to make our own fitness goals a reality within the sphere of what we can do!
    Spark On!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1975 days ago
    Nice to know I have friends with similar lives.
    Vicariously yours,
    Janet emoticon
    1975 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/26/2013 8:28:41 AM
    Learning comes when we are ready to receive the lesson (for me, many of them came after age 50, also). It's what we do with the learning that counts...Namaste emoticon
    1975 days ago
    Another wonderful and enlightening visit!

    Wonderful news that your son is stateside...the waiting never gets easier but we will all celebrate with you as he hits your front door emoticon emoticon
    1975 days ago
    You are so right Barb! In everyone's life, there are the good, the bad and even the ugly things that happen, but we have to learn that life is about moving forward, as you have learned. It is NOT easy, because sometimes our brains get "stuck" when those bad or ugly things happen.

    As Depak Choppra teaches, if we let those things get the better of us, it's like not breathing and we end up suffocating!

    Great blog and your SIL would be proud of you. I know your son is for sure!

    I am so happy for you that he's stateside. The waiting is endless I am sure, but hang in there.

    1975 days ago
    you teach, you inspire... namaste!
    1975 days ago
    Your blog is filled with wisdom and truth! Thanks for sharing! HUGS!
    1975 days ago
    Hi Barb---Himself did a bad thing this morning--He WATERED down my coffee!!! Now I pretty much only have 1 cuppa coffee a day and lately, Ive been telling him, the coffee has no flavour--Well!! Guess what??_-I caught him putting water in my cup----""Thems"" grounds for divorce!!!!!---His reasoning was--""the cup wasn't full enough""-----I'm telling you Barb, life is a bit tough at times and completely bewildering-----specially as one ages--as he has (NOT ME!_LOL)-----Lordy be!!!!--So-----the day has begun and I'm trying to tell myself to carry on--LOL--=but--I sure yelled and screamed at him!--Marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be------Lord Love a Duck!!!--For such a smart man--it makes me wonder!!=--Lynda emoticon
    1975 days ago
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