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At A Crossroads

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

This blog has very little to do with weight. But I need to talk....

A bit of history first... We own a villa in Spain and a home in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. The villa in Spain has been on the market for 5 years and because of the economy it has not sold. I love Spain, and we go there for months at a time to visit. I am very happy there and love the European culture more than the Canadian culture. But all our kids and grandchildren are here and this is home to us. We don't like the climate or the rat race that Calgary has become. And there is so much work and expense to owning 2 houses.

My husband does contract work out of the home. Recently, he has had an opportunity for a wonderful contract that would mean extensive travel through Europe and Asia. We are seriously considering, selling our home and all our possessions here ((basically my whole life) and moving to Spain. We had the idea to simplify our life, live in a more relaxed and less expensive culture and I would travel with my husband. I love the idea, but leaving our kids, especially our grandchildren is so difficult. Also selling off all that I have acquired over my life time creates a lot of grief in me. I know that it is just stuff, but it all has so much sentimental meaning. The furniture, the dishes, decor. I know it sounds so materialistic, but I have been very weepy. The kids, we can visit or fly out to see us. That is not a problem. I am excited about the idea of a new adventure and would like to do it before we get too old, but it is also very hard. This is our family home. It is just not stuff and people that I would be leaving, it is a whole new lifestyle change. I'm conflicted!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    What a tough decision. Really, all decisions are so scary when it comes down to how we play out the scenarios in our head about who and what we are leaving and all the "what ifs" as well as all the "what if nots". Anything that takes time and planning also leaves room for the swinging emotions of it all as well! I cannot tell you how many times I can FIRMLY be at peace about a decision and then wake up and deconstruct all of my reasons emoticon

    I'm glad you have a place to share here and I wish you peace emoticon
    1947 days ago
  • LIS193
    That is a hard decision to make. Can you rent out the house in Calgary and move to Spain temporarily to see how you like living there full time.
    That's what we did when we moved to Mexico 3 years ago.
    1947 days ago
    Lots to think about.

    Is there any way you could rent out your home?
    That way you could have a place to come back to if things didn't work out?

    CARADAWN had some good ideas like giving some things to your kids.

    Someone once told me to take pictures of things, that way you can go back one day and have all the memories. I haven't tried it yet, but it sounds like a good idea.

    Just don't rush into anything.

    Good Luck
    1947 days ago
    This is a hard decision and one I know nothing about but I will put my two cents in anyway emoticon I love the idea of you living abroad with your husband now that your kids are grown. Yes, you will not be as close to them or your grankids but think of the different cultures they will get to experience when they come visit you. It will also make the time you spend together that much more precious and special.

    About all of your possessions, can you pass any of it on to your kids and take some of it with you? I am sure that a lot of the items that hold sentimental value to you will also hold that value to them so they may be able to find space for it in their homes. Or, is there any way to maybe sell your house in Canada and buy a small condo there? You could keep some of your most valuable possessions and furniture there and have a place to come stay when you come back to visit family. This would also make it easier for you to visit home more often since you wouldn't have to coordinate with anyone about a place to stay. The maintenance would be minimal and the cost cheaper in a downsized condo.

    I wish you the best of luck making this decision and I know that no matter what y'all decide you will make the best of it.

    p.s. My sister and I both live in different states from our family and we agree that we see our mom more than the inlaws that live where we do. My mom will visit for long weekends, or a week in my sister's case, and get in a lot of quality time with the grandkids while the inlaws may just come over for a couple of hours here and there.
    1947 days ago
  • ONUTHIN125
    In my family we always say "follow your heart!" Good Luck and Spark On! emoticon
    1948 days ago
    I understand where you are coming from. Give the
    idea to go with your husband some serious thought.
    As you say, the kids and grandkids will be missed, but
    they can come visit. As for the house in Calgary, it is
    going tobe the hardest thing to let go of a lifetime of
    memories. Just seriously think that they are things
    and at some time in our life, they will all go...

    I am not in the same situation as you but I am also
    torn between two countries. I have thought long and
    hard to retire and live in my mum's house in Greece,
    but with the bad economic situation there, I think
    other things like the health system, about whether I
    will be able to live on my age pension there. It is so
    hard to be torn between two countries. My priority is
    to see my son finish University next year. Then I will
    pack up my rental unit here and go over. It is so hard.
    I wish you well in coming to a decision. emoticon
    1948 days ago
    I sure understand all your concerns. When we made the decision to move to Mexico there were no grandchildren and therefore a bit easier decision to make. but now with grandchildren we do find we miss them but it's in the budget to visit several times per year. My DH feels the need more than me as he is a true grandparent whereas I am a step granny. I never had children.
    Recently we found out that the legal situation we were having here in Mexico and thought that it was finally over has been appealed and now we must look into defending ourselves once again with more expense. we were so happy when the judge said there was nothing that we did wrong and therefore were found innocent. well the system is so corrupt here that they wanted a bribe not to appeal it and we said no to the bribe. so here we are thinking about leaving Mexico. The problem is that we have no idea where to live. We certainly won't find anywhere better for weather. We might look into Florida or Arizona but then it's really hot in the summers and will need air conditioning. so much to think about. My DH is saying that we could possible rent out our big casa for a year and go exploring. Lots to do in order to do that. Need to find the dogs a home and such. I too have the need to nest and enjoy all my "stuff" that I have collected over the years. So not sure how I would do with the "gyspy" lifestyle. You will have to keep me posted on your thoughts.
    1948 days ago
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