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So Here's the Thing...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

...I have wanted to exercise...but I'm scared.

A lot has been happening in my world lately. First of all, I'm on day 22 of Whole30. Eight more days and I'm a free woman!! *lol* J/K. The discipline has been great and I'm loving whole foods a lot more. Plus, my energy and such is through the roof. Not today, though. Only working on about 5 hours a sleep today...and Mama needs more than 5 hours of sleep a night!

I've been working really hard on my YT channels. I have vlogged nearly every single day. (Basically, I forgot 2 nights ago and last night I didn't do it because I knew I wouldn't get through it without sobbing...which is the reason I didn't do it one other time earlier in the process.)

I got the call on January 16th and will be starting my new job on February 1st. I'm super, super excited about this. It's in my field, it's in my state, and it's in a higher tax bracket. All of this means that I won't have to move (which my kids are over the moon about as well) and I'll probably be in a new house very soon (I'm shooting for summer, but at least before next Christmas).

Hubs has an interview next week for a new job as well. I seriously have every finger and toe crossed on that one. He's interviewed with them 2 times before and hasn't landed a spot on the team. Maybe the 3rd time is the charm, as they say.

I've been super crazy busy at work as I try to finish things out. Plus we have some reports due this week so I even came in yesterday on the holiday to get some things done. It's been crazy, I tell you! I may just take a day off next week though to decompress before starting the new gig. No clue if that's actually going to happen...I will not leave my coworkers struggling if I can help it! I need to get as much done as I can before I leave.

My youngest son was informed that another spot was created for him from the school he attends for the All-State Children's Chorus. This will be his second year attending.

My oldest was informed that he has been placed in honor band. He will be performing at Marshall University on Friday and I couldn't be more proud of him! He absolutely loves band. He also loves making things with his hand and actually made me a bookshelf with his own two hands. It's beautiful and I absolutely love it. It's going to be featured in the new house for sure!! ;)

Finally, yesterday we got some of the saddest news in a very long time. My husband's grandfather passed away in his sleep. My mother-in-law found him yesterday morning. Needless to say she is more than torn up about it and I hate to see her so sad. We're all sad, though. I have been a part of my husband's family since I was about 13 years old, so his grandfather was my grandfather as well and my heart hurts to have lost such a brave, wise, and downright funny man. I told my husband last night that he is going to have to start telling me on a regular basis that I am the prettiest woman in the world...because his grandfather said this to me every single time I saw him. He would swear up and down, no matter what shape or size or manner of unkemptness, that I was prettier every single time he saw me. And it wasn't BS to him...I could tell by the way he doted on me. My absolute favorite moment of getting to know him was doing a paper on him for one of my college essays a few years ago. We talked about some of the crazy stunts he pulled as a kid, his time in the army...I just wish I had known him my entire life...or his entire life. He was a blessing to the world and I will miss him dearly.

So, the exercise thing, while on my mind, hasn't really mattered as of late. Things have been busy and crazy and happy and sad and up and down. I honestly feel more confident in my abilities, however, after getting through a birthday, landing a dream job, and now the death of a loved one without slipping into cheating myself and the Whole30 program. I have not been perfect. There have been a few misguided errors along the way, but I have been strong throughout, so I have confidence in myself moving forward.

...still... 8 days until I can have a few bites of dark chocolate...

Anyone know of any good plans for getting back into the exercise game slowly? Keep in mind I have no access to the gym right now and I even walking is frowned upon by my PT and podiatrist until the foot heals (and I'm honestly to the point where I'm not sure it ever really will).

Side note of strangeness: My feet finally shrank. Shrunk? Shrank? *sigh* They got smaller. I was a size 11 wide, now I wear a 10 - sometimes wide, sometimes medium. I still have to accommodate my ridiculously high arches (and, as the podiatrist puts it, "horrible bone structure" in my foot), but it has opened up my options for shoes at least. When I feel up to wearing something other than my tennis shoes with my inserts in them.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather *hugs*

    I've been reading "It Starts With Food" and plan on doing a Whole 30 of my own in the next few months.
    1914 days ago
  • _SASX_
    I second and third the yoga and pilates...aslo can you do a barre workout from home? using a chair? they can be great for flexibility and strength. also, you know i'm going to say yeah to weights. Also, is your PT helpful on things like that? If walking is outlawed until the PF is healed up, he should have suggestions to help you get through it...

    It's hard to loose someone who you have known for more than half your life. He was truly a big part of it. I love the way you talk about him, I can feel how much you and your family love him. That will not change. And his love for you, your husband and boys will also never change.

    Woot on your new job! That is such good news!
    1915 days ago
    Wow you sure have been through a lot, E! So sorry for the loss of your grandfather (in-law or not - who cares?!?!) I know that losing my Grandfather was truly one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. My grandparents had been married for over 50 years when he passed and it wasn't long after that my grandma slipped into delirium followed by Alzheimer's. I really truly believe that it was because she couldn't handle the loss of her beloved. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be...

    So much love to you and your family as you deal with this difficult loss.

    And on the other front - I'm so proud of you!!
    1915 days ago
    Well goodness, your blog was like a roller coaster ride! So excited to hear about the new job, new house prospects, and your kid's musical successes. I'm also SO proud of you for hanging with the Whole30 for 22 days. You'll finish it up easily and enjoy your dark chocolate! It's right around the cornerl

    So sorry to hear about your grandfather-in-law. Let me tell you that no amount of time or years will diminish his impact on you, or the impact of his love and adoration for you. You'll think about him fondly a lot, and remember all the sweet words he said. I'm glad your husband had him as a role model.

    As for exercise, I would probably focus on ST first. Some basic muscle activation stuff, glute raises (bridges), core, squats. Just to get those muscles working and stronger so that you can get your cardio going without getting injured.
    1915 days ago
    emoticon So sorry for your loss! What wonderful memories you have - thanks for sharing. And congrats on the new job! I am excited for you!
    1915 days ago
  • ERIN1128
    I'm so sorry for your loss. But YAY on the new job and everything else - sounds like your luck is finally turning. Well deserved!!!
    1915 days ago
    There are some sitting videos available (youtube, sparks, etc) so that you have no impact on your feet. Videos are free at the library too. Upper body and core *stuff* can get your heart rate up - try arm circles, planks and pushups (on your knees so no strain on your foot). Yoga poses, pilates - all modified for your foot of course. Air bicycling (on your backside, legs up, pretend to pedal a bike - ahhh old school lol).

    All in all, it sounds like you are doing well considering the road blocks being put in your path!

    Keep up the great work!

    1915 days ago
  • MAGPIE17
    Hugs, Es. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I think yoga and pilates are an excellent place to start. You tried boxing at some point, didn't you? What about shadow boxing? Moving your arms quickly enough for the punches should get your heartrate up!
    1915 days ago
    Thanks, you guys. Again, no pool. Not an option right now. I too have been thinking to do planks, pushups, crunches, etc. just to get myself going. Yoga would be a great tool as well because the PF has caused me to lose a considerable amount of my leg flexibility...and this is what I need to heal the sucker. And call the chiro and set up another appointment.

    Y'all are great. It's like I KNOW these things myself, but sometimes I'm just to scatter-brained to put them all together. February plan will include adding in regular Yoga and ST exercises. My FIL even has a weight bench I can use once or twice a week to build my upper body strengths or even do deadlifts (though not too heavy).

    Having a "gym" in my own house is seriously tops on my list for my next residence.
    1915 days ago
    Glad to hear whole30 is going so well, and I'm so proud that you didn't use the death of your grandfather to derail you.

    What about getting back into pilates and yoga. I remember a while ago when you were just killing the yoga poses and flexibilty.
    1915 days ago
    I'm so sorry for your loss, it is horrible when you lose someone so supportive and wonderful as life seems to have less and less people who make you feel awesome about yourself these days. (Or maybe this is just my experience) But on the upside it sounds like everything else is really coming together!

    Speaking of my experience, I'm on week 6 of "no impact" exercise and while I'm testing the boundaries of my foot, the stuff I did early on was all abs, free weights/upper body stuff. Push ups on the knees, all that stuff. I'm not going to tell you swimming because I don't know about you but I'm not paying just so I can get on my feet, drive to the Y or wherever, undress with strangers, suit up and feel weird about my body in front of strangers (I know you don't have this issue, you're a swimmer), undress, hobble out, drive home and dread the next session. It's just too much to even process so I used 5 lb weights and "swam" on the floor. Kicked mah feet, did a weighted stroke and got the heart rate up.

    Have you gone to a chiro? Mine is doing wonders for my foot issue, laser and vibration therapy and can likely help with "horrible bone structure." If I wouldn't get sued, I'd go in and punch my podiatrist in the throat for setting me back 3 weeks. It's $40 per appt and I go once a week. He said this should be a short term thing and no chiro should ever have a patient for life. Might want to look into it.
    1915 days ago
    I'm sorry about your loss!! I'm glad that you have such fond memories of him though- I know that it doesn't make it hurt less or take the loss away, but having those fun memories are a huge help when grieving! As for slowing getting back into working out- I'm doing the same thing- I would start with 1 or 2 days a week, do that for a week or two, then add another day...stick with it for 2 weeks, add another day, etc etc. Do you have a swimming pool available to you that you would be able to use? That might be a good way to get some cardio in without putting so much stress on your foot. You're doing great!!! Keep up the good work! emoticon
    1915 days ago
    No gym = no pool = no swimming. Maybe things will change when the job changes, or if Hubs gets a new job, but for now it's a no-go.
    1915 days ago
    Congrats on your new job and I am sorry for your loss!


    1915 days ago
  • -POOKIE-
    I think you have done amazing staying so focused!

    Can you go back to swimming to avoid any impact on your heels?
    1915 days ago
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