Sunday, January 20, 2013
Just as things were looking good last summer and I was doing everything right I got back into teaching. This has required exchuasting ten hour days and leaving weekends for all the house work that doesn't get done durning the week. Somehow I have to also find time for my gamily and my husband's family. I can't do. That is how I feel this weekend. I can't do it.
Yesterday I went to a Girl Scout meeting, oh yeah did I meantion Girl Scouts in those plans. It was suppose to be a get away with my mom and my aunt. The pants that I bought in December (because my other dress pants were getting tight) were now tight and I spent most of the day with them un bottoned. I have already had to buy new clothes twice. I was once a 8/10 I gained some weight and moved to a 10/12 and then recently 12/14. Now my 14s aren't fitting and it is driving me crazy. I don't know when I am going to fit in time for the gym yet but I put off house work today to set and calendar of meals to eat for the week and balance my calories. Now I'm off to the store to buy all the vegetables I don't have.
It's another long journey. I know what I need to do but actually doing it is hard. I'm hungry all the time and I always want something sweet. I don't know how long it will last but I have to do something. I will not buy clothes again. The whole has got me so depressed that I can't even look at myseld in a mirror. I've become depressed in so many other aspects of my life. It's gotta change.