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The Ugly Truth

Saturday, January 19, 2013

The truth is ugly. It always is. Nobody actually likes to admit their problems. Excuses, so much prettier than the truth.

The truth is, I am scared. Scared of what? Reality. Facing the truth. Everything.

I am am afraid will fail, but the truth is I HAVE failed, mostly because I am afraid. It is easier to give up. Distract myself, with a drink, a cookie, a homemade chocolate cupcake. Instant gratification. Instant comfort.

The mirror tells the truth. So does the scale, and my pants. I miss my clothes.

Most days I don't let it get me. I will keep trying, I tell myself. I have been trying. Then I have a drink, a cookie or a homemade cupcake and I feel better.

Why doesn't the scale move? The truth, I haven't given it a chance to move. There is that saying, the more things change, the more they stay the same. I added exercise, Zumba in fact, which is great, but it also made me VERY hungry, so I added more calories. Those trackers that let you eat more if you workout are tricky, that simply does not work for me.

For what feels like the hundredth time, I am recommitting myself. I have support, should I chose to use it. I am scared, but I realize it is okay to fail, so long as I keep trying. Again and again.

Time to face my fears. Time to face the truth.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It took me a long time before I hit rock bottom or should I say I hit the Ceiling rock hard at 265 and the fear of hitting 300 scared me so much I knew the excuses and laziness had to go or else....
    Everyone has a number or size and one day we will reach that point and then we will make the changes...no one can make anyone do the right things except by living by example. For our children and other family members and friends....we have to show them how...that it is possible. I try to only give advice when asked but I always try to live a life that shows what I believe....

    Look inside and you will find the strength....nothing is worth giving in or giving up....once you hit your stride and get that lifestyle you want You will be so glad you stuck it out! Life is always going to have challenges...it's how we respond that defines us!

    Pray you always respond wisely!
    1914 days ago
    Hang in there!
    1916 days ago
  • BATTY30
    Your not alone , we are all here to support you in any way we can. I'm going through a bit of a rough time myself in the eating department. Keep on trying you can do this!!!! emoticon
    1916 days ago
    The important thing to do is keep trying. Remember that one bad meal doesn't ruin a day, one bad day doesn't ruin a week and one bad week doesn't ruin living healthy overall.
    You can do this. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and make better choices tomorrow.
    1917 days ago
    You CAN do this! It took me literally YEARS to get things figured out. Just remember to do things slowly and it will happen. Hugs!
    1917 days ago
  • 68ANNE
    It's not the quitting that is a problem, it is the not starting again. Don't worry keep trying and you will get there!
    1917 days ago
    It is hard to get past that first drink, cookie, cupcake, whatever but once you do, it may get easier. Forget one day at a time; sometimes we have to do it one cookie at a time.

    Good luck. emoticon emoticon
    1917 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1917 days ago
    You can do it. It is scary to do this. It's hard to change your thoughts and tell them to be quiet. emoticon
    1917 days ago
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