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Baby steps....and finding the 'want to'

Saturday, January 19, 2013

So, had a stress fracture in my foot and had to back off plans for the last two weeks, but guys, for some reason, when I got done with breakfast, I *wanted* to exercise. Weird, I know....but that's what I've been working towards for the last month, right? Finding the 'want to'?

A lot of the guys at work (I'm the only woman in my department besides the admin) go workout together after work, and I've been talking to them about workouts and motivation. One of them said he'd been doing The Biggest Loser workout for XBox with his daughter and suggested it for me. Went with the 7yo on a hunt for Ninjini yesterday and they happened to have a used copy at the game store we were at, so I picked it up. I thought that would be a good starting place when I had that weird urge to move my booty this morning. Y'all, XBox thinks I'm fat and ugly! I fixed the ugly part by editing my character, but no matter how you dress it up, I am fat. That's something that's been hard for me to learn to say. I think of myself as cute and appealing and in the interest of self-esteem, usually use words like 'fluffy' and kinder words like 'overweight'. But i am learning that when I am 80-100 pounds off of where I'm supposed to be I need to learn to use truthful words like 'fat' and 'obese'. If I keep refusing to face the truth, I'll have to use words like 'morbidly obese', 'heart attack', and 'diabetes' and worse, right?

I made it through the body scan and assessment, and, on the up side, XBox has great faith in my abilities and placed me at the 'moderate' work out level. I put it on beginner and then did 20 minutes on my elliptical. HUGE! That's the first time I've made it 20 minutes on the thing, ever!

So, where do I go from here?

- I try to do it again tomorrow. Then I'll try to do it again the day after that, and again and again and again as many times as I can.

-I shrink that green blob that is how the Kinect (and everyone else) sees me until I am happy with what I see.

- I keep going until my avatar looks good in the bike shorts and sports bra (and the real me too!)

- I lose 14.5 pounds so I am under the weight limit for our trampoline. Then I can start taking turns and jumping with my 7 yo.

- I see 160 on the scale and I can jump WITH my 7yo without exceeding the weight limit!

-I , well I could keep going, but that's a pretty good start, I think.
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