Wednesday, January 16, 2013
I have been doing great on my diet. Have stuck to plan for 11 full days--and am loving it. Tomorrow morning I start a walking program through my local Kaiser--I am very excited. When I started the diet I was 210 pounds and could only walk about half a mile at a time--on a very low setting of the treadmill--1.5 mph.
Biggest challenge--my family.
I am the "lost child" the one who no one really cares about my feelings. Although they still want me around to serve the egos of the rest of them. My sister is the Queen of the family--my role is to serve the Queen Bee.
They don't want me to escape--and they definitely don't want me to be thin. In 11 days, I have had 3 family invitations to sabotage my diet--first my brother calling in the middle of the night wanting to go to all night place and stuff ourselves together--I declined. Then my mom inviting me to come over for chicken enchiladas that she was making special (so you can't say NO). I did say no. Now my sister wants to take the whole family out to Red Lobster on Tuesday. Haven't figured out how to say no yet--but I am. It isn't just the restaurants--our whole family dynamic makes me eat.
For example, last night my sister called and said she had something for me so could she bring it by today. Like a fool I agreed to--although she refused to be pinned down as to what time she would be by. (whenever I try to pin her down in anyway--for example by asking something simple like could you give me an idea when you will be by, she starts screeching that I am SOO MEAN. And then my parents (especially my mother) will screech at me. Better than when I was a child--when I was little, mom would beat me for having the temerity to ask the Princess any such thing.)
So I knew I would be stuck waiting at home all day long until she showed up--unable to do any chores like grocery shopping--because if my sister came and I wasn't at home there would be hell to pay. I couldn't even wash my hair--because she (and my parents) get extremely angry if they even have to ring the doorbell more than once. After all--they told me they were coming by. So I wasted the entire day sitting around waiting for her to deign to stop by--and then at 8 pm she calls and says--oh--never mind--not going to swing by today. I'll catch you next week.
This is the kind of thing that makes me want to eat. I decided to blog about it instead. I hope it helps...