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The stress in my life

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Right now, I am preparing to go through another divorce. My first one was so very long ago that I only remember bits and pieces. I do remember that it got nasty and I don't want this one to go the same way.

Most of my stress this time involves feeling lonely and alone. This isn't a new feeling. In fact, for the last few years of my marriage, I spent a great deal of time alone. It was different in that I knew my husband would eventually come home. That isn't the case now, nor will it ever be again. I don't think I miss my husband so much, but I do miss his presence. I miss feeling married. It's at these times that I want to wallow a little bit in self-pity, cry, think that at this stage of my life there won't be anyone to grow old with. I suppose I'm mourning.

When this happens, I have to remember that it's OK to feel this way. I have to allow myself to mourn and not just stuff the feelings down. Doing that just led to overeating in the past. Not something I want to happen again. I try to remember that there are people in my life who matter to me and I matter to them. I just need to remember to call them when I need to. I've always been so stoical before, hiding everything that I feel. That is one of the lifestyle changes that I need to make. I have to open up to people so that, while I may be lonely at times, I will never be alone if I don't want to be.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are never alone. Where ever you go, there you are. Keep loving yourself. Change is scary at first. Then it turns into opportunity. emoticon emoticon
    1907 days ago
    I'm also an emotional eater, and use food to self medicate, especially for loneliness, or boredom. I grew up with food the central focus of everything! Italian grandma syndrome I think. I can't explain why I wasn't an obese child, but started gaining in my late twenties. Now at 52, I'm finally learning how to replace old negative food behaviors and habits with positive ones, one step at a time. One of the hardest things for me to do, but is my ultimate goal now: is to stop giving the weight or pounds my main focus, and to just maintain this active and healthy life style, and the rest will take care of itself. Easier said than done, but with daily practice, I hope I get there.

    I wish you all the success with your goals and happiness!

    lisa emoticon
    1911 days ago
    You are expressing your feelings very well in your blog.
    I'm sure that will help you through the process of getting to the next stage of your life not using eating to stuff down your feelings.

    1923 days ago
    Yea... been there and done that! I'm ten years past it now and I'm so much happier. Have a wonderful day and know that we are all here for you my emoticon
    spark emoticon
    1923 days ago
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