New Chapter

Sunday, January 13, 2013

First of all thank you so much for all the encouragement and advice on my previous blog! I'm always astounded at the level of interest, care, and tough love that people are willing to give out in the name of helping someone else. It's a wonderful, beautiful thing, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for putting up with my drama and stubbornness to help me through this. THANK YOU!

As you can tell that blog was written at the height of hormonal craziness and right in the middle of my having to come to terms with some emotional stuff that I've had bottled up and avoiding for a very long time. Like anything else with that part of my life, it was hard to get through - but I'm glad I did, because I needed to do it. Before I can make any progress, I have to make a good foundation with my state of mind concerning exercising and genuinely getting to a place where I'm willing to take up the challenge physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Today begins a new chapter in my journey and the renewal of my zeal and commitment to make my end goal happen! I've spent my past days off not only having fun and enjoying time with friends, but getting myself in gear to start anew. Yesterday was spent exactly like the day before I started eating healthier all those months ago: I got up in the morning and spent a few hours of deep cleaning, where I not only cleansed and organized my living space but also my mind and my attitude. Sandwich in a light lunch and a creative jam session with my best friend. Then the evening was spent in laughter and communion with other friends and some overeating and some private reflection before bed.

And yes, I binged yesterday. I kept the food light and low during the day, but I night I just let loose. I got a spicy McChicken, whipped buttery mashed potatoes, s'mores chocolate, vanilla Oreos, and a big ole' Diet Dr. Pepper (and this was after a dinner of salmon cakes and baked carrots). I decided to do it because the benefits outweighed the minor weight gain (no pun intended) - for one, I've been nearly driven crazy by the urge to binge, and I needed to get that out of my system so I could focus on being productive and move on. Plus the whole scenario made me feel like crap physically and mentally, which means I won't have a mind to do it for a very long time. That and it's strengthened my resolve to start today strong and to stay strong!

My first step to improvement and better decisions is to have a schedule/routine for my work days, which will not only make me feel productive and positive, but will encourage me to stick to a healthy schedule out of habit. I'm going to start waking up at the same time every morning and spend the very first hour doing productive things. Yesterday it was two loads of laundry, one load of dishes, and taking out the trash. Today it was emptying the dishwasher, paying bills through the next pay cycle, making my bed, and setting up the paper calendar I bought with bi-weekly weigh-in and financial goals to keep me on track.

The second hour is allotted for updating SparkPeople, planning my food for the day, and exercising! For now I plan on using a recumbent bike machine, and my first goal is to bike 6.5 miles in 30 minutes. I will not being biking this morning, however, because I have awoken with flu like symptoms and I don't want to exacerbate them - instead I'm going to play the easy way before work and not risk losing a day's pay to sickness, then as long as I prevent the symptoms from getting worse, I'll hit it as soon as I get home tonight (I promise!).

Any remaining time after workout will be spent showering/getting ready for work and preparing my lunch and dinner. Any extra time will most likely be spent doing leisurely things like being on the computer or reading, although there's not much time for such things.

It will take some getting used to, but I believe once I commit to the routine and get things down, it will be much easier to apply and stick to the habits of getting things done and working out. Plus I'll probably just feel better overall compared to what I've been doing now, which is getting out of bed at random times and being aimless with my time until I have to go to work. We'll see how it goes!

In other good news, I've officially saved enough money to pay off my first credit card! I'm super excited about it! This is my first resolution to accomplish as well as my first official step toward gaining financial independence, getting out of debt, and repairing the damage that was done by putting my ex husband through college. I just can't believe it!

I'm not going to pay the card off immediately, however. I'm going to at least wait for my next paycheck, which will still let me accomplish the goal of paying it off this month but with plumping up my savings a little more so the decimation of it won't be as dramatic. Call me paranoid, but I know if I pay it off as soon as I have exactly that amount, a surprise expense will pop up and I'll be out of luck.

Well here's hoping that this day goes as I've planned! Instead of thinking of this schedule I've made up as a permanent change, I'm considering it for this week - that seems like a much more doable goal - and will go from there. I think it's a good setup, because that will have me on the bike 5-6 days a week depending on my work schedule, and that allows my days off for freedom, relaxation, and a little fun and indulgence. It's also a comfort to know that, if I fall prey to the temptation of uncontrolled snacking at night when I get home from work, I can add on time/intensity to my workout the next morning to make up for it (or I could switch to working out when I get home to eliminate the possibility at all). And if I ever wanted to step up my workout, I can increase intensity, time, or even do two-a-days. It's important to have room for potential, haha.

I'm hoping these flu symptoms are just a product of last night's binge and sleeping on my back all night rather than actually contracting an illness. My hour is about up, so it's time to go and accomplish more things.

I hope everyone out there is having a wonderful and relaxing Sunday!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It sounds like your plan is all about a healthy lifestyle and mindset as well as exercise/diet, which is really important. A lot of times we focus on exercise and diet and forget about the mental aspect of it. Being flexible about it and making changes if needed is important as well.

    Congrats on getting some debt paid off! That's a huge step and it sounds like you have a good plan for your finances.

    I hope you feel better and that the flu symptoms are a fluke!
    1927 days ago
    I'm glad that things seem to be falling into place for you!

    If this is your first time on the bike in a long time, I would reccommend easing into it for the first week. I remember when I first started on the bike, it was awful, and my legs were jello and I felt like poo. And that was after 5 min! I started at 15, and did that for a few days before increasing to 20, then 30. When you get started, you may want to start with just a little bit of time so you can get used to it! You don't want to burn out right away and decide it's so bad you don't want to go back. lol

    A weekly schedule sounds good! It doesn't have to be "I work x, x, and x days no matter what!" As long as you have some sort of plan in action (even if it's only for 2-3 days in advance), it's way better than deciding day by day on exercise. When I used to do that, I'd bargain with myself and say things like "well, I dont' really feel like working out today, so that means I'll do it tomorrow, for certain!!" ... except that is what I'd say EVERY day. :X

    Congratulations on the credit card! It feels so great to get out from under a debt like that. I remember how it felt when I finally got my car paid off :D So great! And the more financial goals you hit like that, the easier it'll be! hooray!

    I love the feeling I get from looking around the house after I've finished a ton of housework. It makes it all worth it. Even scrubbing floors and doing the stuff I hate!
    1928 days ago
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