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Tears in my ears.....

Saturday, January 12, 2013

The weekend started out like any other day....getting up early has become my "new norm". I quickly unwrapped my legs, massaged them, cleaned & completed a skin check, lotioned them up good and started wrapping them back up. To be "compliant" this will also become part of my new norm.

I headed over to the dining room and noticed "the guys" weren't there yet...wheeled backwards to their room and checked to see if they were joining me for breakfast? It's always more fun when "the gang is all there"!!

Found out today that Darold will be heading homeward on Monday and while I'm happy for his success in heading home, I'm also sad that my dear friend will no longer be here. I will miss him greatly!! We've had many "heart-to-heart" conversations and spent many hours encouraging each other.

This weekend I'm supposed to be thinking about where I want to move to and what level of care that I will need. This weighs heavy on my heart - as it will be hard to say "good-bye" and as I lay here upon my bed....I have tears in my ears!

I spoke briefly with the Social Worker - if I feel I need 24/7 nursing care....the costs could be as much as $9,000 a month. But if I want to try to get into Assisted Living....that would probably cost about $2500 to $5000 a month. And finding space available may be difficult, but she mentioned there are programs of many different levels of care and she is willing to help me go through every step of the way.

Staying here is not an option - I gave up on the only available bed in Long Term Care. While I know everyone here, I would rather head somewhere closer to home and friends!

As the word spreads through the care facility...that Annie will soon be leaving, many have come forward and paid me compliments. That I'm truly a gem - encouraging the needs of others, helping fellow patients in the dining room, my gift of laughter has helped many people try harder in their efforts to make it through therapy with renewed strength and enthusiasm.

All I've failed at is encouraging myself to have that same cheerful outlook....

January 17th - I will be released from Occupational Therapy and it will be my last day here, provided that I find another place to head to.

"Private pay" has become those dreaded words that have me currently worried. Some seem to think that perhaps, by going someplace else...they might have other answers or suggestions on what I can try next or have different techniques that would enable me to stand or walk.

I no longer have that faith in myself....and the tears seem to flow quite frequently these days.
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  • SAMI199
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2221 days ago
    You have come so very far Annie!!! I don't know what I can do to help you with this situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you daily. When I pray tonight, I will ask God to please show you the way He wants you to go. I know He has plans for you even if I don't know what they are. You are such an encourager, supporter and lover of life that I know He has special plans for you!!! Just when things seem the darkest, God will show you the light.
    I hope the social worker can find someplace closer to home for you that meets all your needs. Your fighting spirit will help you with the rest. Please let me know if there is anything more I can help with.
    Ken and I are trying to beat this crazy flu as we have been sick for the last week. I know that he got it from me and the doctor said of course he would...especially since he didn't get a flu shot. No matter how I feel, I can still pray and I am and will continue to do so.
    Blessings, prayers and hugs,
    2224 days ago
  • SAL1512
    Please, have faith in yourself! You have come so far! You are such a fighter!
    Sally emoticon
    2225 days ago
    Annie, whatever lies ahead, you can do this! You have a strong spirit! My MIL is coming home with us tomorrow after being in rehab for 2 months. When she went in she could not stand or walk, now she is walking out of there. Time will tell but you are definitely headed for a place that you need to go! We are with you. Carol
    2226 days ago
    Sometimes a hug is good when no words will come. (((HUGS))) You just can't ever give up on yourself. Never ever. Sending strong prayers for you.
    2227 days ago
    Oh Annie, sweet Annie gal, how sad I am to read this. I don't want you to be unhappy! I wish I could help you in some way. I wish I lived close enough to go sit and talk with you. Not that would really help, I know, but just want you to know how much we love you here. I don't know what your financial situation is, so it would be really hard for me to offer up any advise. I do think you'd benefit from being around lots of other folk though and not alone somewhere. The Assisted Living sounds like it might be ideal if you can afford it. I'm also really glad to read that you're still working on improving your legs. Maybe what they said is right...maybe some other place will be able to come up with some other plan that will truly help you regain the use of your legs faster.

    I know why your friends will miss you there when you leave that place. Anyone who ever had the good fortune to know you couldn't help but love and miss you if you went away from them. I know I'm one of them, and always hope that we can stay in touch. Love you Annie. Please keep fighting, I'm going to keep hoping and praying that things work out for you in the very best possible way.
    2227 days ago
    I am thinking about you. Don't turn off your computer. You inspire me to keep trying to do my best whatever the situation may be. emoticon
    2227 days ago
    When I was a kid there was a country song called
    I've got tears in my ears from lying on my back and crying over you.

    You brought that song back to me thanks
    2227 days ago
    Annie sweetie so many of us love and support you. I wish I could offer some words to help,but I am overwhelmed with gratitude just to see you here, to know you are fighting on, and that you are still with us every step- as we are with you. Even if you lose your friends there if you listen really closely I hope you will still hear us out here- cheering you on! Keep us informed how everything goes.
    2228 days ago
    I don't know what to say Annie. I don't know your financial situation... I'd have no choices at all. I CAN offer to keep you in prayer... as I always do and hope that all will turn out the best for you. I love your spirit and the fact that you're willing to be compliant. I'm proud of you. emoticon
    2228 days ago
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