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Insomnia treadmill run

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Last night I responded to an e-mail from the SparkPeople press office by filling out one of the "official" success story surveys. Don't know who nudged them my way, but I pulled up my courage and filled it out.

As occasionally happens when I toot my own horn, I started tossing and turning over it, and by 2:50, I was awake, and did not fall back asleep despite closing my eyes and making my best attempt to let it go.

What goes through the brain? Oh, the usual performance anxiety crap: "What if they publish this and then my program falls apart and I regain (yes I still fear the great regain)? What if I fail in my marathon training? What if...?" And seriously, "why am I doing this? Is it REALLY to help / encourage others or is it to puff myself up in importance? Because Barb, you're not any better than anyone else! Don't be a braggart."

What to do when these kinds of thoughts hit? What I chose to do was get up, slip on the running shorts and hit the treadmill. emoticon I put my five miles plus in early, then stretched and showered before breakfast. I'm calmer now... got my anxieties back in their "normal" proportion, my "ego" back in its seatbelt... and I'm good for the day.

The run itself felt good. Much better than the Tuesday after supper slogging. To be clear, I did not try to work out immediately after my meal... it was a full hour later. But apparently either what I ate (not huge, fish & potato) wasn't sitting right even after an hour, or... who knows? In any case, Tuesday, slogging, this morning, on auto pilot and feeling good. I'm sure folks can relate... some days it just feels better than others!

And the steel cut oats? Are tasting extra good this morning!

Life is good. Spark on! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Gee, you could have called me to chat...I am the insomnia queen! LOL

    This living vicariously through you is getting trickier.

    And yes, you rock! emoticon emoticon
    1926 days ago
    I belong to a UK diabetes website and a recent discussion is centering around fear. I'm fast becoming a believer that fear is so useful as an aid, to reinforce our commitment and keep us aware.

    Long-winded way of saying - I think your "fear of regain" has a healthy place in your maintenance... tho it would be better if it didn't disrupt sleep, lol.

    You know what Marenamoo says - Be ever vigilant!
    1926 days ago
    I'm glad you worked through the anxiety.
    1926 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    This is why you inspire so many people.
    1926 days ago
  • SUNNY332
    I could see how that could cause some anxiety but I think you, of all, people should be celebrated for your efforts, you success and your motivation. I say Yeah for you!

    Keep up the good work.

    1926 days ago
    Dealing with the insomnia by exercising instead of binging shows how far you have come! Congratulations!
    1926 days ago
    I got the same email, and I'm still dithering about how to fill out the survey. I think they sent it to all the people voted motivators on the At Goal and Maintaining + Transition to Maintenance team.

    I have different psychological issues with the survey than you do, but still . . . I might get it done tomorrow.

    1926 days ago
    Glad the run helped! Congrats on being a success story! :)
    1926 days ago
    Congrats on being selected as a SparkPeople success story! It is an honor and so very well deserved. So sorry for the insomnia. Letting go of the anxieties and worries isn't easy. I've had several nights in the last couple weeks where I just couldn't let go and ended up not getting as much sleep as I'd like. I never have gotten up to run, though. Hope you get through your day without extreme fatigue. Hope you sleep beautifully tonight.

    You know, I don't mind bragging on SparkPeople or at Weight Watchers, although I'd be reluctant in any other arena. I even tell people at WW I brag because it helps me. It does. I'm about to present Saturday the 12th at a WW open house as a success story. I am hoping not to lose any sleep over it. We'll see.

    I think bragging about my weight loss and maintenance and fitness successes has helped me come to see myself as someone who has lost weight, is maintaining, and who has achieved greater fitness than I thought was possible. It has helped reset my self image/identity.

    Do it to help you. Do it to cement your self image. Do it to inspire others. Do it because you enjoy it. Do it because you deserve it. Really!!!
    1926 days ago
    I'm excited to see your success story on the website! A big woo hoo! And while you are right, none of us are better than any of the others of us....but some are definitely more successful in reaching our goals, and you definitely deserve the kudos. Congrats!
    1926 days ago
    Looking forward to reading your success story in official format.
    There is no doubt there is no regaining in your future.
    Keep taking care of yourself even as those changes in life happen.

    1926 days ago
  • DRB13_1
    so happy you will be "officially" featured as a success story! emoticon
    The fact that you got up & ran 5 miles is another examplw why! emoticon
    you'll sleep well tonight emoticon
    be sure to blog when it's officially available, and thanks for being an inspiration emoticon
    1926 days ago
    Good job, Barb! I know I know . . . . it is hard sometimes to get that pesky negative "regain" message out of your mind. I do the same. I think you handled it well by getting active. That's what I do too.

    1926 days ago
  • DR8561
    You have never come across to me as someone who thinks she's better than everyone else. I think the self-doubt and never quite feeling good enough is behind a lot of the compulsive eating we're trying to get past. You deserve to celebrate your successes and all the hard work that got you there.

    I love how you handled the anxiety. I probably would have just tossed & turned in bed and made myself miserable. Can't wait to see your story when it's posted!
    1926 days ago
    Oh that's awesome that they asked for your story! I have those kind of thoughts too sometimes. Glad you were able to get in a great run and get rid of the worries!
    1926 days ago
  • DALID414
    emoticon on the SP success story bit! I can't wait to read it!!
    1926 days ago
    My therapist tells me the only way to learn to deal with anxiety is to deal with anxiety. Sounds like you dealt with yours just fine!
    1926 days ago
  • _LINDA
    You certainly have nothing to worry about. You have your head on straight and are always hashing things out to ever let anything get away on you. You are the perfect choice for this story and I look forward to seeing it in print!
    I always find exercise gets me out of any mood that is bothering me. Nothing beats it!
    1926 days ago
  • DEBRA0818
    It's a difficult decision to "go public" with one's story with all of its attendant anxieties, but I like your solution, Barb! Exercise is THE great mind drug.

    1927 days ago
  • KANOE10
    That was a great way to deal with your insomnia and anxieties. I can feel that pressure also..People tell me I am an inspiration yet, I can also fear regain. Good for yu staying positive and getting exercise!
    1927 days ago
    each day, each run has its own personality. and when insomnia hits, what a great way to work it out - by working out!
    1927 days ago
    1927 days ago
    Fill out that questionnaire! You're a success NOW and you prove everyday that you are investing in your future! Do it!
    1927 days ago
    AWESOME !!! You deserve it and it isn't cos you are better it is cos you achieved something most of us are trying to reach. not just goal but the fact that you are doing well at maintenance!!!
    KUDOS and enjoy and let yourself feel proud! emoticon
    1927 days ago
    Glad you had a good run and look forward to the press release.
    In my book, you are emoticon
    1927 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/10/2013 8:24:00 AM
    1927 days ago
    I usually sleep through the night and can imagine
    what DH would say if I jumped on the treadmill at
    that time of day. Hmmm-maybe need to buy one
    first. Glad you found a solution and look-5 miles
    done! Great!
    1927 days ago
    I got the same email and did not respond (for the same reasons) so my goodness I really do relate to this one! And I like your solution better than mine!!
    1927 days ago
  • GABY1948
    emoticon you are doing emoticon don't worry...anyone can relate I am sure!
    1927 days ago
    You are giving me a "this is possible" motivational boost! Thanks!
    1927 days ago
    1927 days ago
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