New Year's Eve thinspo
Sunday, January 06, 2013
So a few days after the new year I saw the group photo. I knew I was the "fat" one, but thought for sure it wasn't "that bad". I've blurred out faces to protect the innocent (and those who don't know about my SP blog). And here it is:
I would have just put up the cropped photo of myself but I wanted to show the difference between me and everyone else there. My sweet parter told me he thought I looked good that night. I think I look just awful.
Back in June and July I was pilates-ing by butt off and was looking (and feeling) good. I was wearing shorts even! Now I can just squeeze into my size 12 jeans.
What a wake-up call that picture is.
When I think about having "just a couple" salt n vinegar chips, or some other snack that I don't REALLY want to track, but just WANT, I think about this picture. Sometimes I go look at it. Because I am very unhappy with what I have done to myself, to the progress I had made. I have worked hard over and over to lose weight. I have been successful and unsuccessful. Many or most of you can relate, I know I am not alone.
I don't feel good about what has happened, but I was in control of what happened just as I am in control of what happens going forward.
My goal is 40 lbs by May 30. Maybe I'll hit that goal, maybe not. But I will surely be taking the proper steps to get there.