SHELLDRAGON

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Yes, it's a cliche!

Saturday, January 05, 2013

It's the start of a New Year. New (old?!) resolutions. New diets. New financial plans. Every year isn't it the same thing?

This year will mark our 10th wedding Anniversary. Ten years! Ten years ago at this time I was deep in the wedding planning aspect of things, and working my butt off to get into the wedding dress I had desired. How it feels like yesterday that I was going to the gym, walking on the treadmill, dreaming of wedding decorations, and a fit & healthy lifestyle.
I've always struggled with my weight, size, and body image. Year after year, it's been one fad diet after another. I'll lose the weight, then put it right back on. I'm the classic diet Yo-Yo-er.
Last year was rough. My sister was getting married, and I couldn't have been happier to help plan the wedding, and for us both to look simply amazing! We planned our workouts, talked constantly about what we were eating, read books, bought videos, tracked everything, etc. Or so we thought, because, well... we failed. Now, don't think for a second that she didn't look absolutely amazing on her wedding day. Gorgeous! Me?! Well I think I was just too concerned about 'starting my diet' that I just didn't. So much so, that 2 weeks from the wedding date, I had to rush order a different sized bridesmaid dress. A bigger size. But the day of the wedding I didn't let the fact that I could barely zip this new dress bother me. I was happy for her, for the day, for the night. It would be the first time in a long time that a bunch of family from all sides were partying all night together again. Ecstatic doesn't do it justice! :) But, like things go, Mike and I were only to be disappointed again in some that wouldn't stay. It was at that exact moment that I decided to make bigger changes than just on the outside. I needed to detox from the negativity of some that constantly seemed so toxic to me...

So for my New Years? I'm focusing on HAPPY. To be happy in the body that I have, to be happy with my image, and to take things slow. I don't want to yo-yo anymore, I don't want to be on a 'diet' for the rest of my life. I want to start running again because I enjoy it, and develop closer friendships with my girlfriends that have been here for and with me this past year. There's been so much going on that it's been an absolute blessing to have those people that call you up to see how your day went, or if situations are getting any better. To be able to leave the kids at home for a night, and have a glass of wine. I want to get going back to the gym more. I hate going alone, and use that as an excuse to not go, or to start at another time. I have to get rid of that excuse, and go for ME. I want to fit into my wedding dress this fall. I promised myself 10 years ago, that I would be able to wear it on our tenth anniversary, and I have to make that happen.
It may be a cliche thing to say, but this year will rock. I know it. emoticon emoticon
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