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My quick update will probably turn into a novel!

Friday, January 04, 2013

I haven't blogged in a few days, so this quick blog will probably end up being way too long!

For starters.. let's see...

Remember how I got bored with my P90x? I decided to stop doing it for a while. Instead of bike on mon/weds/fri and str on tues/thurs/sat, I am just doing 45 min on the bike. I am, however, doing it 6 days a week. Overall, I think it will ammount to more calories burned. I am kind of missing the strength training, though, and I know that without it I'll lose a lot of my awesome muscles. I will go back to it, but I think I need a short break so I can forget some of Tony Horton's jokes. I mean, I feel bad for the guy because Dreya snubs him a fist bump every tuesday!

I do have the option of playing it with just music, or with no sound at all, but I really like having a trainer talk through the exercises. Even if I know the moves, hearing him go over the basics of form for each one reminds me to keep proper form when I'm doing it. Every time he challenges one of the other people to lift something higher or do another move, etc, I always challenge myself to tighten up my form or lift more or correct something. I feel like I need it! I just need a break from the familiar patter I guess.

6 days a week on the bike is nice on it's own, though. I like spacing out on the bike. I know that once I'm strapped in, I'm there until my workout is done, and I can get on with the rest of my day.

So really, my exercise has been going pretty well. It's good, because I need SOMETHING to counteract all the rampant binging I've been doing lately.

Honestly, I have no idea what is going on with me. I don't know what happened to that strong person that was prancing all over town telling people I wasn't going to eat stuff! I want to find that again. I ate a bunch of the crap that was laying around here, and I think I gained 3lbs this week. Today, however, I'm within ranges so far. The day is almost over!! I have high hopes :P I struggled so much last month to lose 3-4lbs, and I managed to get it all back in this week. I just have next week to make some sort of numerical difference for the month. It would be devestating to have to put a +1 or +2 or even +3 on my profile. I'm going to try to use that as the motivation to get one solid week of good eating.

I am still trying, but every day it seems like I'm not trying quite as hard, and I can't find my resolve! The junk is just about all out of the house now, though, so I feel like maybe things will be better. I'm still not giving up! I'm just having a few bad days. Over the past 2, my daily calorie intake has dropped each day. That's a good start. This weekend will be a challenge, since The Husband is off work. The Brother will also have a long stretch, but he's going down to Austin to visit his girlfreind. I know that with him gone, The Husband will not suggest leaving the house for food much at all. He is far too lazy, and I shall exploit that weakness!!

I guess it sounds like I'm blaming other people. I am, a little. I know this is still all on me, though, and I'm the one with the power to change. I just need to stop the pity party and chocolate binges and get back to it. Hopefully, I will have more good new on my next blog!

I still need to unpack from the convention. It seems like I've been so busy since I've come home. I've been cleaning like crazy because two boys left alone in a house tend to trash it. I'm almost caught up on dishes. I almost have all the costuming stuff put away (that is not in a suitcase). I still need to change the litter again...(did it when I came home, but it needs it badly)

Ugh.. The Husband is ranting at WoW and I keep losing my train of thought in all his angry words at the computer screen.

Oh yeah...

When I was gone, Senpu got really stressed out. He spent most of his time hiding under the bed. I do not think it was because of my absence, but rather because of the new people medicating him. He doesn't like The Brother all that much, and The Brother was the only one sober the entire time I was gone. That alone stressed me out, because I'm tired of my husband thinking he can manage his problem through moderation. Moderation doesn't work for him, and I hate feeling like I have to be at the house 24/7 to keep him from drinking.

Anyway.. the cat...

So I had to take Senpu in to the vet again. This will be a pretty regular occurance for the rest of his short life. He will now get to see the vet every 2 months or so to make sure he's still responding to meds, keeping lungs clear, and all that. This was a very good visit, though! The bad new is that Senpu is only around 7lbs now. He was never a big cat, but I'd say he was a good 9.5-10lbs in his prime. 8.5 seems pretty good for him now, and he's still lighter than that. The vet said it could possibly be from the stress of having people chasing him around the house and trying to get him out from under the bed with broomsticks while I was gone.

Yeah, possibly. lol

He takes his meds well for me. It's frustrating thinking that I won't be able to travel anywhere until he dies, unless I can find a sitter that is able to medicate him easily and without stress.

The rest of his visit went really well, though! His purr is clear, his voice is loud, and his Xrays look fantastic for what they are. His upper chest is still a mess, but the vet was actually able to see a part of the heart this time, and the majority of the congestion in the lungs is gone. There is still some congestion on one side, but the doctor thinks he's at about 3/4 his current potential health, so there is room for improvement. She was not very optimistic when I first brought him in, but she's very happy with how he's doing now. If he keeps responding to the diuretics, we could still have him for a few more years at a happy, comfortable level of cattitude.

We also decided to shave him since he seemed to get tired of cleaning himself. He basically just spends most of his time on his butt, paws, face, and occassionally his front sides. I think he gets too tuckered out by the time he reaches the big tracts of cat, that he just gives up! So, we got rid of some belly and butt fluff and essentially shaved a strip from his chin to his butt. He looks kinda funny, but he seems pretty happy!

He's been purring so much lately, I had to ask the vet if he really was doing that well, or if he was in pain! lol. He's not in pain, so he's just doing well! I'm very happy. His appetite has come back, and he purrs so much more now! And to think... so many other people may have given up and euthenized at this point! The vet told me that most people won't let her do the diagnostic tests, and just want the animal put down. It was just an X-ray and an oximeter reading and some blood work! Sheesh!

I think the vet is giving me a break on the bills now, too. They haven't been as expensive lately, and she is only charging me about a third of what the initial Xrays cost. This last visit was 200 bucks only because he was up for his annual exam and booster shots. I was really iffy about the vaccinations this year, but she said he was healthy enough for it, and was worried about airborne feline leukemia, etc with what could potentially be a comprimised immune system. Vaccines are a touchy subject anyway, so I don't want to debate the pros and cons. We did it, and that's that!

Anyway, I was totally right. This is a novel!

The Brother comes home from work soon, and he is conspiring with The Husband to go to BJ's for dinner tonight. I am at a crossroads here.

On one hand, I'm still 200 under my min. range today. I could potentially go and eat around 400 calories there and be ok for the day!

I'm not super hungry, but I kind of want something sweet. I don't want a coctail. I don't want a huge entree. I do want to go hang out with the guys, though. The logical choice is to have a coffee and nothing else... but I can't have a coffee at 9 at night! I also can't eat a ton that late, so that's not that hard of a choice.

I kind of want to go and order dessert, but it will be difficult to find something in my ranges that I can eat. I should probably just stay at home. Urgh. I don't know. If I go, will I buckle and get something unhealthy? I don't even know! I guess I'll go with and get my water, since I don't want to be awake all night with coffee. lol I'll have to check things out from there, though. I may be sticking to water all night, but that would be a victory too! (I did see a good looking tomato/ mozzerella salad on the menue that the internet says is 277 cal.. and some thai shrimp lettuce wraps at similar calories, so finding "dinner" wouldn't be an issue. I think my sweet tooth is just dominating right now T..T)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Glad kitty is doing better! Keep making good choices, they will add up.
    1932 days ago
    Almost everywhere has decaf! It tastes just as good as regular coffee. =)
    1932 days ago
    It's nice to be able to go out to dinner at places like BJ's that have calorie-friendly sections on your menu. Hopefully you were able to satisfy your sweet tooth and stay in range for the day.

    If I have learned anything about finding commitment, resolve, or the right mojo or whatever, it's that it's all in my head somewhere. When I fell of the wagon back around Thanksgiving, the only way I got back on was to sit myself down, get all up in my head, and get real with myself and figure out my priorities. In a way it's a lot like having money problems and sitting down to redo the budget. All about mindset, I suppose. That's what helps me, at least.

    Maybe if you go over on calories, you add minutes to your workout the next morning to burn those extra calories? That worked for me when I had access to a swimming pool.

    It's good to hear that Senpu is doing better, and that now you're back home some of those stresses have been taken away for him. I hope things do continue to improve.

    Stay strong! If you're serious and honest with yourself, perhaps you can find your resolve and regain some of what you've lost.
    1933 days ago
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