2,500-3,999 SparkPoints 2,861

STEP 1: Admitting you have a problem

Friday, January 04, 2013

So... I used to think that the only eating disorders were to be anorexic or bulimic. Well, I was wrong. My Dr. diagnosed me with an eating disorder Nov. 2012. My therapist urged me to go to a support group. Well, the only support group I could find was Over-eaters Anonymous. It is like AA for people who can not stop eating. I really did not think I was one of "THOSE" people. But I was wrong again! My Dr. sent me to a dietitian. In our first appt. she asked me what percentage of the time I thought about food. My answer was even surprising to me! It was 90% of the time. When I am at work, watching tv, driving, or even working out. I think about how awful and how much I hate food. How if only I was thin people would like me better. People always say "you have such a pretty face" That is the worst thing to tell me!
Today I met with my dietitian and have a plan for eating. Even in the plan for eating it was hard for me to accept it because it has fruit and carbs in it. Am I really supposed to eat carbs and sugary fruit? For me one carb will eventually lead to more carbs. It is a totally slippery slope for me.
My relationship with food is NOT normal... even though it is all I have ever known. To put myself in that "EATING DISORDER" box is very hard. But I think I am almost mastering the first step of accepting that the problem is BIGGER than me and I need a "HIGHER POWER" to help me recover.
One of the steps is making a mends with those I have hurt in my disease. Hard to come up with a list of people as the biggest person I have hurt is myself. As I search for those people I have hurt... I realize that I have hurt my children and my husband the most. I am going to push that step for later when I am ready for it. For today... I am going to focus on the fact that I am going to master step #1. I am proud of myself and know that my God is bigger than this and my GOD can heal me from this disease. emoticon
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post

    Be the First to Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.