So, over the Christmas holiday I started going through some of my old stuff. You know, baby clothes, squiggly crayon drawings of rainbows and unicorns, old Valentine's Day cards (BFF4L!)
And I ran up on a stack of my old diaries. At first, I did not want to read them. I mean really, who wants to re-live junior high, right??
But after a while I convinced myself to put on my big girl panties, sit down with a cup of green tea and begin to read:
December 25, 1991
Today is Christmas. Merry Christmas! My mom got me this diary and so I am writing in it. I will write in it every day...
December 26, 1991
It is cold. I am bored. I fed the cat today...
January 1, 1992
Today is New Year's Day! Happy New Year. Here are my resolutions.
1. Keep my grades up in all my classes.
2. Lose AT LEAST 5 pounds
(Pause for mathematical calculations....)
On January 1, 1992 I was....
And yes, I'm pretty sure I figured that right. I mean, I math was never really my thing but
And I quote:
January 7, 1992
"I like the math we are doing now. It is fractions. I think they are fun."
January 27, 1993
"Prime factorization is easy. Some of my friends think it is hard, but I like it."
January 28, 1993
"We started this new kind of math today. It is stuff like x+5=7. I like it. It is fun."
as I was saying,
due to my mad mathematical skills, I am POSITIVE that I was 10 years old when I started this diet.
I want 2 things:
1. The date and time that I decided that "math is not my thing. I don't like it."
2. A time machine to take me back to that date AND to January 1, 1992 so that I can have some serious talks with myself.
but I guess neither of those things are going to happen, so I need to have a serious talk with myself NOW.
As I read through the diaries, all 10 years of them, I found that every year (sometimes 2-3 times per year)I would put myself on strict diets, denying myself foods that I like and setting myself on brutal exercise programs. Of course, I would fail miserably.
FOR 21 YEARS.