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I need to lose 5 pounds

Friday, January 04, 2013

eight times. I am 40 lbs from a comfortable, healthy weight so I need to lose 5 lbs, eight times. That's all. Simple, right? Sure, it's simple. I just wish simple meant easy but, as most of us learn the hard way, the most valuable things often require a certain amount of discomfort and dedication and discipline.

I am basically posting this blog to reconnect with Spark, because I have been so hit or miss lately. I miss connecting with Sparkfriends.

I also want to turn around the self-destructive spiral of weight gain and isolation. I regained 22 or so pounds, of 30 lost. I am not a hopeless case, just a particularly stubborn and difficult case, apparently.

When I lost 30 lbs, beginning two years ago this month, the winning (or losing, if you will) combination was basically this: spending ample time on Spark, tracking and connecting with people and being accountable. Eating a good breakfast, having a satisfying lunch, fixing a simple but nutritious dinner, snacking less during the day, and not eating at all between dinner and bedtime. Making sleep a priority, and taking care of "the business of daily living" i.e. housework and paperwork and phone calls and errands and all the things that can easily pile up when one avoids them, was also key.

Someone I know, and care about, wanted me to pay hundreds of dollars to join a weight loss challenge sponsored by a nutritional supplement company. I respectfully declined. I made a vow long ago not to pay people to tell me to eat less, and the program laid out was very complicated. I know I need to keep things simple. It was uncomfortable to say no, but people pleasing is an unhealthy way to live and also, in my experience, directly leads to weight gain. Saying no, and meaning it, is an inescapable part of improving one's health. Saying no to excess food, to hours on the couch, to people we care about who want us to do something that costs us too much whether it be money, or integrity - saying no and meaning it is uncomfortable but gets easier with each time that simple but powerful word is uttered, with meaning. So, will I lose 5 pounds, eight times? It is certainly possible. I have zero intention of dying early due to excess weight, or living out the rest of my life feeling like I am carrying around a Snuggli (you know, those baby carriers) full of fat, so the only option is to do what needs to be done. I appreciate knowing that there are people here who offer encouragement when what needs to be done seems like an unappealing choice, versus what I feel like doing. Doing whatever I feel like, in the moment, hour after hour, day after day, won't take me anywhere I want to be. That being said, it isn't like I need to live a perfect existence in order to be healthy. Perfect and better aren't even remotely the same thing. Better, I can be - perfect isn't even in my realm of existence. Thanks for "listening", Sparklers.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Great blog! I too have been "out of touch" due to stuff going on in my life....trying to catch up and satrting with your blogs because they are so great. Good to read them again!
    1982 days ago
    So sorry it took me into now to see this! I'm glad to see you blogging again too. Ill chime in with the rest of the bunch here on that : ).

    I need to lose 5 lbs x 5, but that does seem much more attainable than whining at myself in the mirror about how I need to lose 25. Great idea.
    I'm realizing that the harder I try to force myself to lose weight, the harder I fall, and worse I end up feeling about myself. Bad recipe! I've also allowed my body pain to make me quietly bow out of being social, even online. But that just made dealing with my pain even harder since I was not occupying my brain (and my heart) by interacting with those I care about. And that meant that I was closing myself off from supportive people unintentionally. I'm making more of an effort now too, and firmly planting my (swollen) foot back onto Spark territory, to stay motivated, supported and be supportive of everyone here!

    And you will get there (again), just like I will (again).

    1986 days ago
    All any of us needs to lose is five pounds, then! I love it.
    1994 days ago
    I missed your blogs, like everyone else. I've also been hit or miss and last weigh-in at the doctor's office, I've gained back a few of my pounds that I've worked so hard to lose.

    I like how you said you have to lose 5lbs eight times. That makes it seem so reasonable. Hmmm...I need to lose 5lbs 10 times to be within my normal BMI range.

    Also my son is graduating from college in May and although it's all about him, I don't want to look bad in the photos. So that's my motivation right now. Hopefully, it's enough.

    I agree with not paying someone to tell you to eat less and exercise more. The WW deals are coming in my mailbox and I keep tossing them.

    emoticon Hattie
    1994 days ago
  • JENNA54
    Once again you have said it all Cannie, and once again you inspire me to push just that bit harder to get to my own goals. The decisions we make today, will influence the results we have tomorrow. I am with you every step of the way - you are so close to your goal, I wish you every success - and keep up the blogs. You write wonderfully, a pleasure to read however painful the message.
    1995 days ago
    Yes, you can! Just Do it!

    emoticon emoticon

    1995 days ago
    Cannie - so glad to see you blogging again - your understanding, your humanity and your kindness mean so much to so many people here, myself included. Hope I'll be blogging next week for the selfsame reasons - contact and accountability - also in the hopes that I can support others as they support me. I've slipped backwards too and your 5 pounds x 8 sounds like a plan. Sadly 'sounds like' is not quite enough as we know, but we can only go at it and try. I know I've learned a lot of new and better habits that may go by the board some of the time but I have a better attitude and that counts for a lot as far as I'm concerned. So I plough on and plainly you do too. I wish you everything good in your efforts and in your life. BIG emoticon
    1996 days ago
    It is funny that I was just thinking about you the other day. Wondering how you were doing. Welcome back. Your blogs always resonate with me. The New Year has provided me with an opportunity to evaluate my "plan". "Doing better" might allow me to be kinder to myself. A friend of mine calls it "being kinder to the lady in the mirror", I am working on that. I am very good at being hard on me. LOL By the way, I need to lose 5 pounds too, about 12 times over. So here is to both of us "doing better" in 2013! Hugs.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1996 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/5/2013 5:27:44 PM
    Right, you're on! I am going to lose a stone by Easter (14lbs) and another 2 stone by the end of the year making 42 lbs. Last year I had 3 trips to America which put on a pound a day while I was there so my total loss last year was only 20lbs. So now I am eating "clean", fresh fruit and veg and daily exercise.
    The truth is so simple but we have so many hangups and preconceptions misting our view. I'm a food addict. I understand why but found that ANY food will do so it can be fruit and veg and I can be healthy.
    Let's tackle this issue, one pound at a time. I'm here, you're there, the internet is there to connect us.
    Good luck!
    1996 days ago
    YOU CAN DO THIS!!! emoticon
    1996 days ago
    I'm so glad to have read one of your blogs again! And I'm sure you can manage to lose those five pounds. Just once for a start. You'll focus on the other seven times once the first is accomplished. I've always believed you carry and share lots of life wisdom, Carole. Your attitude in this blog proves it for once more.
    I wish you all the best for this new year!
    emoticon emoticon
    1996 days ago
    Great attitude! I like the idea of breaking it down. I agree that staying in control in one area of life spills over into others.

    1996 days ago
    Well I'm glad you are here. I miss you when you are gone. I have gained 20 pounds since my lowest weight too but I'm gonna lose it plus more, just like you are. Let's do it together. You know I love you!!
    1996 days ago
    3 years ago I lost 30 pounds, and gained 28 of them back over the following 2 years because I didn't want to be bothered tracking my food and exercise any longer. I came back in November knowing I can lose the weight again, but this time I'm not going to stop tracking (and thus I won't be gaining it back again!)

    I love your "5 pounds, 8 times" phrase. Great way to break it down. I have to lose 5 pounds 2.5 times more. Thanks for the encouragement to look at it in smaller chunks!
    1996 days ago
    emoticon for this blog. I can totally relate especially about it being a challenge to say "No" to people, food, sedentary lifestyle, etc.

    1997 days ago
    I like the idea of taking it 5lbs at a time. Then it doesn't seem so overwhelming. emoticon
    1997 days ago
    Happy to see you back sparkin my friend... yes you can do it times 8!!
    1997 days ago
  • DOODIE59
    Hi Cannie
    Better is good enough -- it'll give you a little wiggle room yet keep you on your healthy path. Good luck! (And all power to you:))
    1997 days ago
    I'm really glad to see you again! It's hard to admit to regaining weight especially when you think while losing the weight it will be forever. I find myself in the same position with a regain of about 15 pounds. And yes, we all know what it takes to lose the weight and I applaud you for saying no to an expensive weight loss program. For me it's about keeping a positive attitude and not beating myself up when I fall down...that negativity only spirals more negativity and it's not long before I can't do anything.

    So here's to us because we CAN do what we need to do. I'll be watching for you in the new year and I wish you every success.
    1997 days ago
    Nice you're back: and great idea, to break it down into "bite size" pieces!!
    1997 days ago
    Good to see you here! I have to lose 5 pounds too....10 times! We can and will do this!
    1997 days ago
    I love reading your blogs. You have such wonderful insight. I know you can lose your 5lbs 8x's. You've essentially done it before, you can definitely do it again.
    1997 days ago
    it is hard. there have been times, as cellista says, when no matter what i tried it didn't seem to work. i don't really know if i was trying hard enough or not. but as Crabada says, and as i keep saying to friends who think i'm so eff* inspirational that i make them feel guilty :-( ... baby steps. work at getting one thing right. then add the next one. no one is perfect (and boy would they be boring if they were!). breakfast. then add dinner. then from dinner to breakfast. or whatever order works for you. i'm not going to worry about your fitness ...
    hugs and if there is anything at all i can do to help, yell. or email.
    1997 days ago
  • SPAQUEEN2012
    I LOVE the 5 lbs thought. We can also lose 5 lbs! And since losing just 5% of our body weight gives us health benefits - - we win!

    Thank you for this thought!

    1997 days ago
    You are one of the wisest people I know. For sure there is a direct connection between saying "no" and health. It seems we've all been just barely hanging in there but you know, having the knowledge from the losses we've had before is hugely valuable and we know what needs to be done. It won't be any time before those good old feelings come flooding back in to remind us how much we love to move, how we feel better when we're properly rested, how our body loves water, protein and good things. Good for you for not falling into an expensive program that would really do nothing more than instill you with doubt. To me, (who struggles with promises from fads, even though I know better) the most detrimental thing is how those things make us not trust that we know what's best for us. When it costs a lot, we tend to really throw our common sense out the window in order to be fully invested. I've done it so many times over the years, usually with gym memberships, pieces of equipment, and supplements and you know what? after many years the most weight I lost and the biggest maintain I've kept happened when I started respecting what I know is true for me. Thank you for this blog today, I still feel vulnerable to some of the methods out there which are not bad, but I'm tired of wrestling with things I couldn't keep up with for life and this time of year we are all being bombarded and asked to place out trust and money elsewhere. The thing I've always loved about SparkPeople is that because it's free, I have no sense of panic and there is no financial "punishment" for getting back at it again and again. Glad you're back baby!! emoticon
    1997 days ago
    Welcome back! Nice to hear from you again. It really is about discipline to do all those things you listed, isn't it? Always a struggle to maintain. I had a tough year partly due to an injury, but also partly due to putting my attention elsewhere and not maintaining that discipline I need to get where I want to be. Like you (and so many of us!), I lost weight only to regain it. I can point to physical reasons, injury and illness, but it couldn't be just that, or I would have scaled back my eating habits to compensate, as DAISY443 points out. Something else was at work there, and this time as I lose, I plan to pay more attention to the emotional components of the process and try to identify the factors so I can deal with them in a mindful way. Your focus on saying no to things you don't want to do and avoiding that people-pleasing compulsion seems like an important step in that direction. One choice at a time, we keep our commitment to ourselves. Stay in touch!

    1997 days ago
  • OOLALA53
    Hi, Girl. Glad to see you. I gave up feeling I had to lose weight about three years ago, but at the same time I surrendered to the idea that I had to do something to reduce my overeating/binging whether I lost or not. I stayed with Spark but added another (free) site with an even simpler program and vowed I would not submit myself to any limits that I would not be willing to live with for my last decades on this planet. I didn't track much except that I ate only three meals a day 5 days a week with beverages in between. My meals have changed over time and my weekends have gotten very sane. I'd bet someone on the outside looking at me might think I'm on a diet, but I don't feel I am at all. And I haven't added any consistent exercise, though I don't recommend not adding it. There were rocky times but I stuck with it because in the end it was much less of a sacrifice than anything else I had tried. The weight has come off in fits and starts but that wasn't even the point (I think you know of that paradox). The best part is that the habits do not feel difficult to maintain. I'm not waiting for this to be over so that I can eat again! I do overeat sometimes, rarely feel guilty about it, but also don't love doing it enough to want to keep doing it. It is the definite exception now. And that's about all it takes. Just keep working with the ratios until reasonable eating is the default and overeating is the exception.

    I sound preachy, but I don't mean to. You are a very sane woman; you will listen, weigh the thoughts, and do what is right for you. I just think the world of you and want you to be at peace!

    P.S. I wrote this here also because I had written in my profile originally in 2007 that I would rather lose 5 pound permanently rather than lose 15 and put 10 back on, and that I wanted to lose those 5 pound 4 times over. (My goals were modest.) Well, it took me until Dec. 26 of 2009 to surrender, but since then I've lost 6.5 times that 5 lbs. using pretty much the same tactics for the whole 3 years. It's not a bad life. But this is the year for exercise. Hope we can do it together. emoticon
    1997 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/4/2013 4:55:57 PM
    Five pounds, eight times. That's exactly my story too. I also feel like a stubborn and difficult case. Sometimes I think it's not our "fault." I think everybody's body chemistry is different. It's not all will power/discipline. It's actually harder for some people. I actually sometimes feel jealous when I read of someone who gives up soda and loses 20 pounds. I have nothing to give up!

    Right now, I'm sick with a miserable cold, and I'm craving cookies/chocolate. That is rare for me and it's really annoying! I started the January challenge and can't do it because I feel really lousy. I had to stay home from work for 2 days and that is annoying too. So as an annoyed person, it's hard to focus on nutrition and exercise.

    I'm really sorry you gained that weight back. It was so obvious that you were distressed. I'm very glad you wrote this blog, because honesty is good. You are facing the situation and letting us in. No platitudes from me, i.e. "you can do it!", but I just hope you can sort things through and find the strength to do what you need to do to feel better. I want that for myself too.
    1997 days ago

    In reading your list of the simple things that equal success for you, I thought to myself, "Wow, that's a lot of things to tackle at once!" I fall into that trap, too -- of saying I "only" need to do seven things (yes, I counted your list), and sometimes it's overwhelming. You may not feel that way, but if you do, perhaps just pick one or two, like a nutritious dinner and/or nothing to eat after that, and concentrate on those for the first 5 pounds. Add another for the second 5 pounds.

    Just a thought. And either way, I also need to lose 5 pounds (many times over), so if you want a buddy, I'm back, committed to SP, and here for you. Let's do it together!

    1997 days ago
    It takes self-determination to the max sometimes to keep on going, but I always remember that generally nothing tastes as good as how being healthy feels!

    I too am going on 3 yrs. being on SP in February and LOTS of things had to change, and they sure in the heck didn't happen over night. But then neither did the health and weight issues that led me to seek out SP happen overnight either.

    My dear, keep on pushing. You definitely know we're here for you and as always, the rest is up to us individually!

    HUGS and glad you're back!!
    1997 days ago
  • DAISY443
    I am almost to my 3 year anniversary on SP and, after losing 27 pounds have gained back 21. I am blaming part of that on an inability to exercise for most of the past year, but wait, I should have countered by eating less and didn't! In order to live a healthy, fulfilling life, I have to get back on track! So, here goes! emoticon
    1997 days ago
  • MARTY728
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1997 days ago
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