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2013, a year of overcoming fears

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

2012 was an okay year. Nothing phenomenal, really. There were moments of laughter and moments of tears but nothing that I can look back and say WOW to. That is something I would really like to change for this year.

Ever since I was little, I was REALLY SHY and I would get anxiety. Basically, I was afraid of life & that fear has followed me. I try my best to push fear down but sometimes it can roar. I know a few things that contributed to it were: Living in an unstable environment to not being treated well by other students in school (younger -middle grades.) There was so much I wanted to do but I just held myself back. I would have loved to play Tennis at school or join a couple of clubs. When I say I was really shy, I mean terribly shy! I wouldn't even raise my hand in class because my heart would race & pound so hard & if I did get the courage to say anything, the teachers asked me to repeat myself as if I wasn't talking clearly. Teachers would always say I was so quiet and needed to participate. I *wanted* to participate. I just didn't know *how* to get my outgoing personality to transfer into the school setting.

To be perfectly honest, I still struggle with shyness. There are times when I can be very outgoing. When I talk to my friend who I met in middle school, I am the one who is talking the most while she is an introvert and just listens. I think it would surprise her that I get very nervous in particular situations. Having a lot of extra weight doesn't exactly help either. It makes me feel more self conscious but that's why I am here, right? emoticon

The last couple of years, I have been busy dealing with medical issues but now I would like to focus on a job. Being terribly shy makes that terribly intimidating. I am SO fearful that I will be judged about not having much experience like some of my peers. I am afraid to make phone calls. The thing is I know that If I never ask, the answer will always be NO! I am also afraid that even if I do ask, the answer will still be NO! There are SO many things I would enjoy doing and hopefully this year will not only serve as a stepping stone but a huge leap toward living life fully & confidently. emoticon

I just feel like I do have a lot to offer (not trying to boast) but I'll never have the chance if I don't overcome the fears I have.

I know it's going to be a struggle but I want 2013 to be the year that I really start living life and stop holding myself back. It's difficult when you are standing in your own way. I do think it's good that I want this to change. I know wanting is not enough. I have to DO to make things happen.

The idea of doing instead of hoping or wishing applies to weight loss as well. I know I need to do more and I will definitely try as hard as I can this year.

I am trying to remember progress, not perfection.

I hope you will also make 2013 your year of overcoming fears. emoticon

It's time to step out of the comfort zone so we can live the lives we have been hoping for!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yep, that's me too! I totally relate to everything you said! I have overcome that to a certain degree but am still somewhat shy around people I don't know and around crowds. This is just a suggestion but one of the things that really helped me was going to college. I think that learning new things helps to build your confidence. Change and stepping out of your comfort zone can be scary but I also find that it can be exciting.

    I think also, that you'll find that once you start losing weight you'll become more confident in yourself and abilities. emoticon emoticon

    I loved all of your quotes! Thanks for sharing!
    1994 days ago
  • BLUEFISH1881
    Thanks for an inspiring goal. I also am going to work on overcoming fear.
    1995 days ago
    I can very much relate. I also struggle with shyness. We both have what it takes to make 2013 a great year! You are on the right track, and just remember how great it will feel to reach your goal! This was a very inspiring blog. Life truly does begin as the end of our comfort zones. emoticon emoticon
    1995 days ago
    Great, great blog! I'm so glad you are here!
    1996 days ago
    yep me too.. and no matter who was being yelled at it was you (inside). One thing I found helps is having a task. I can't be at a party, but I can play hostess or drink mixer or food pusher ... I have a task to focus on and it's much easier to get by. Have you considered working with kids, maybe at a child care center? They are much easier to work with than adults for the chronically shy. I started out that way.
    1996 days ago
  • RFJSJ50
    Wow! We share a lot of similar traits but sort of in reverse. I was always shy and withdrawn around family because I never seemed to be the daughter/sister they wanted. I was just the opposite at school; probably why I became a teacher.
    I'm in this for the long haul. I am accepting the me that I am and working on making the changes I want to make in 2013.
    Let's take this life-changing journey together.
    1996 days ago
    Thank you for sharing such much needed quotes/motivations! I, too, need to see/use 2013 as a new and different "thing". I am not getting where I want to be, either, and need to change my routine a bit. I will keep you in constant prayer as WE wander thru our journey's this year!
    1996 days ago
  • BARBIE176
    What a great blog. I can definitely relate to the being shy. I am in my 60's and I am still quite shy although I am slowly overcoming it. You can too. I love the quotes that you shared. I look forward to your year of success. emoticon
    1996 days ago
    Great quotes!

    Here is another for you:

    "Being aware of your fear is smart. Overcoming it is the mark of a successful person." (Seth Godin)

    I don't know who he is, but I like what he says! May this be your year of accomplishing great things for yourself as you journey along the road to health and happiness!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1996 days ago
    As you said, if you never ask the answer is always no. If you do ask, the answer might still be no but it might just be YES! And even if the answer is no, so what?!?! Getting a no is not the end of the world. There are still thousands of other opportunities out there for you. And the no might even have constructive criticism which is a hint about what you can do to get a yes next time. When it comes to jobs, there are always going to be several people trying to get the same job. It really comes down to how well you can sell your confidence - do you really believe you can accomplish all they want and then some? Often that is conveyed through your appearance, your non-verbal communication and the words you use. Hint: if you study and prepare ahead of time to give the best interview you can then you have a leg up on many others. See if you can find job interview skills classes in your area, search online for tips and tricks (places like monster and careerbuilder have tons of articles), and find a friend or family member to practice interview you several times. All of these will help you become a good interviewee.

    Another thing to try is just getting out of your comfort zone. Go somewhere that you can talk to people you will never talk to again. This could mean driving an hour away and going to a mall or driving 20 minutes to a bar with one friend. The trick is to find a way to get into a conversation with someone - ANYONE that you don't know - for more than 1 minute. Remind yourself you will never see this person again and even if you do, they're not going to remember you. If the person walks away, find someone else. There's something freeing about talking to someone you'll never meet again. If you try this a few times, you'll find there's not so much to be afraid of. Some people are stupid and won't talk to you, but you never know when you'll meet someone nice and fun to talk to. After this, it seems easier to talk to someone in an interview you've never met before.

    Don't forget that when kids have extreme shyness and anxiety it is usually because their parents were over-protective and were terribly afraid of anything happening to their child (among other things). If a child is not allowed to fall down, scrape their knee, go play with other kids away from parents, etc then the child becomes afraid of taking chances or trying things on their own. If a kid falls down and the parent freaks out the kid freaks out, whereas if the parent laughs the kid laughs. So as an adult, now you have to allow yourself to fall, scrape a figurative knee, and go off on your own to learn that it is possible to fall down, laugh, and pick yourself back up without the world crumbling around you. It's not easy, but it is possible.
    1996 days ago
    Last year, my word for the year was acceptance. This year my word is courage. I am glad to be on this fearless journey toward healthy living with you!
    1996 days ago
  • FOZZIE12
    I enjoyed and felt emotional while reading your blog, probably because so much is similar. I have to tell you I love the snippet by N D Walsch.
    I recently read an excerpt that I believe was from one of his books, "Do not compare yourself to others, you already have all that you need for your mission here on earth."
    We all learn to be outgoing by taking small steps, not big scary leaps. By doing one of those things each day will become second nature. Have some fun with trying things out.
    1996 days ago
    Loved your quotes. Thanks for sharing! emoticon
    1996 days ago
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