Am I a hoarder????

Monday, December 31, 2012

Ok. well this is my New Year blog but also one of reflection!

I have been thinking a lot about a resolution. Not that I keep them, but decided this year I need to keep making changes. I've been doing a little over time to get myself in order. Quit smoking 3 years ago which really wasn't a resolution at all, but just kind of happened. Same with my journey. Not really a resolution 3 years ago but after some deep consideration realized I didn't want to be the blob that couldn't walk when I was 50. So this year I know that I will still be working on my personal journey to better health and hopefully a tad smaller as time goes by. I don't really need a resolution to do that, it's just going to be an extension. But what I do want to resolve in my life this year is my clutter.

A little back ground. I used to work for Children's Protective Services. Yes I saw a lot and a lot of really dirty icky houses. Just like on TV!! My house is NOT like that. It is lived in. But as time goes on I have realized I do not really like getting rid of "stuff". Instead of disposing of stuff I move it to another location and forget about it. Well my other locations are beginning to be over come by stuff. I have one room, more then one closet, and drawers of stuff. Oh and a garage full! I don't buy new stuff so I'm not usually adding to the rooms, drawers ect...but I avoid what I have already accumulated!!

So I mentioned to my BF last week what I thought I would try to accomplish. Mind you he moves stuff and doesn't do much with it either. But he blames me for the accumulation. Anyway, he failed at Christmas this year..his words not mine. So to make up for it he said he would clean the house and do my laundry. Which is actually my dream gift anyway. He started out last week doing a bit here and there. Friday he seemed really happy about something. Said he had been working on it all day and hoped I liked it. What was he doing??? Cleaning MY closet!! Ok, this has me freaked out!! I appreciate what he was trying to do but actually hated it! Hate that he went through my stuff and threw things out that he deemed unneccessary. Says it was trash but really not sure it all was.

So now I have a clean closet but I hate it. Part of what I need to do is go through everything and deal with it all. I am a procrastinator. I am a clutterer. I need to take charge of that. But having someone do it for me is not what I want. And I feel a bit violated. Now not sure this is rational. Maybe I should be much happier about what he did. But you know there was normal every day cleaning that needed to be done that I thought he was doing but he instead decided it was ok to go into my space and clean it out. BTW...he got mad at me for not being super excited about his "gift".

I started to but then didn't go through all the stuff he cleaned out and threw away. AT this point I'm just hoping he didn't throw away anything I would need. And he probably didn't. I am going to pick something a week and work on it slowly but surely. It might take me forever and it won't be on his speed for sure. But it is the only thing I can do. To say I'm going to do it all in a week or a month would be setting me up for failure. I know I have things that have to be dealt with that I have avoided. It will all be part of the process. But it has to be on my time and no one else's! I should have never said my resolution out loud...sets you up every time. Or other people expect more from you because of it!

Anyway, thanks for reading and letting me ramble. As you can see it is a big deal for me. But I think for me to be healthy eventually all of this has to be dealt with and taken care of. It is an extension of me!!

You all have a Great New Year!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I can understand why you would feel violated and uncomfortable about this. Cleaning out a personal closet has to be done together with the person who owns the stuff. You need to psyche yourself up for something like that and go in with a plan/guidelines. There are some really good organizing shows on TV. Don't watch the hoarders show, though. Those are extreme cases. As you set a goal to clean out one drawer at a time you'll get a sense of accomplishment and start to feel liberated. Believe me, I'm talking from experience here. I'm able to let my closet and bedroom get really junky and the worse it gets the more depressed and angry I seem to be. When my bedroom is decluttered I feel so much better. It's not easy and it's a slow long process- I'm still working on it a year later, but it's worth it. Do what I do- move to a new house. That'll get you motivated.
    2359 days ago
  • MANDY22Q
    I live with my husband who is a product of parents who horder to much of the incase I'll need it later. They are in denial. They have three storage units they are paying for and one bunch of storage pods when they moved. My husband isn't as bad but every darn surface in the house has to have something on it his hats coat never get hung up, his books are in boxes in our storage unit as we live with friends at the moment almost time to move and im dreading all his stuff mind you not as much as his parents but his stuff books mostly things he may need later. I grew up moving a lot so I have the other extreme if I don't use it in a year it gets trashed donated, if I don't love it or need its gone. I have a issue in our bedroom because he has his important papers on a dresser and clothes and stuff are in the bed room I keep it clean but his s asking he gets lazy and will leave a cup or bowl on the desk instead of taking care of it asap. Excuse is always he will take care of it later then I end up doing it because I hate clutter it makes my ADHD kick in. Tell your sweet guy of yours thank you and you'd like to go threw the process like the therpist do with the people on the show and when the clutter is gone from your spots it will also be a weight off your mind and think of the calories you'll burn while cleaning think of the bonding time you get with your guy. New year new out look.
    2365 days ago
  • AJBOYER222
    I have this same issue Terri! Good luck with it! :)
    2387 days ago
    You will be amazed at how getting rid of clutter in your house will create space in your life in general. It is very emotionally freeing to live clutter free. (And BF is lucky to be unbruised. LOL)
    2389 days ago
  • LIZZYP609
    I have struggled through the same thing in the past. NO BF should NOT be going through your stuff. His stuff and maybe the "our" stuff but it should be left up to you to go through your closet/drawers, whatever.

    about 2 years ago I made a resolution to go through ever drawer, cupboard and closet in the whole house. I did a little at a time then when I decided I wasn't doing it fast enough I took a week off of work to do it! It felt so good to get through it all!

    The thing is you have to be in the mindset to do it. I too am clutter-er and an procrastinator but just like any other goal make yourself a deadline, work out the details on how and then just go for it! Meet that deadline and you will feel better about yourself and love coming home even more!

    You can do this Terri!
    2390 days ago
    have a great time decluttering
    2390 days ago
    Getting rid of stuff was hard for my wife for a long time, now she is totally the opposite
    2390 days ago
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