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An Eye Opening Wake Up Call

Monday, December 31, 2012

I joined SparkPeople on November 8, 2011. It was the day after my younger brother and his girlfriend announced to the family that they were engaged. With a September date, I had around 10 months to lose as much weight as I could. At that point, I would have been the heaviest in the wedding party (including the groomsmen). My goal was to change that. I knew I'd still probably be the heaviest bridesmaid, but I'd be mortified if there wasn't at least one guy bigger. Even if the guy was bigger because of muscles and not fat, I'd take it. Anyway, long story short, I did great! I was motivated and committed and lost about 60 pounds!! Although there are things I can pick out that I don't like about my body I am very happy with how I looked in the wedding pictures.

Unfortunately, after the wedding, I lost my motivation and let my emotional eating creep back into my life. I love my brother and sister-in-law very much and am extremely happy for them. However, I would be lying if I said it hasn't been hard. I am 34 (five years older than him) and not at all where I thought I'd be in life. I always imagined I'd be married with at least one, if not two, kids by now. Whenever I get upset about where I am in my personal life I turn to food. I say it's because it comforts me, but that's not true. Most of the time, I feel like s*** afterward. I have put on at least 20 pounds since the wedding. I know that this is unhealthy and not at all where I want to be in my life. If I'm not careful, before I know it, I'll be back to where I started. That's not what I want for my life! However, I've just not been able to get myself started again. I've sporadically checked into SparkPeople, when for months, I was faithful checking in multiple times a day. Until about two days ago, my page still had a Thanksgiving theme. I guess I've been waiting for that "thing" that will make me wake up and start living for my future. I think it finally happened.

Four days ago I heard that a friend I grew up with had gone into cardiac arrest the night before. Although we had lost touch since our high school graduation (except through Facebook) he was like a second brother to me while we were growing up. He is 35 with a wife, two little boys, and a baby on the way. Thank goodness his progress is looking good and he is slowly getting better!! It is definitely an eye opener for me. I don't know why it happened to him, but he is overweight, so that could easily be a contributing factor. Even if it's not, it has still served as a wake up call for me. If I keep doing what I'm doing that could easily be me. Heart disease is the leading cause of death in women. If nothing else, I am increasing the risk that my life could be much shorter than it should be, and I want to be around for as long as I can. Right now, I am vowing to make healthy changes in 2013 to get the body and life I want and deserve!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Your pictures are great. Just get back on track and do it for yourself and for a lifetime, this time: not for any particular event. Even if you start off slowly. We have seen so many members who have accomplished so much by losing only 1/2 pound a week. I know you can do it.
    1964 days ago
    Beautiful pictures! You can do this! 2013 is your fresh start. emoticon emoticon
    1972 days ago
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    1972 days ago
    You are BEAUTIFUL!!

    I know how you feel losing and then regaining the week. And now a wake-up call. Yikes! I appreciate your bravery in blogging about this. I know you can do this.

    *really big hugs*
    1972 days ago
    YOU ARE GORGEOUS!!! And that dress is so pretty on you!! It's like they picked that color just for you!
    YOU CAN DO THIS!!! WE CAN DO THIS!!! Yay for new years and new beginnings!!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1972 days ago
    1972 days ago
    You are so beautiful in the wedding pictures. You did great. Now you have to learn to maintain. I find that harder than losing the 70 pounds I lost to start with. I'm still Sparking, still tracking my food and exercise. I'm hopeful I can get back to my goal weight and stay there.

    1973 days ago
    Beautiful Pictures-- And I am glad that you are joining the January Challenge-- reaffirming our goals and small victories here every day will help us stay with the program.

    We will do this together!
    1973 days ago
  • 3016DEBRA
    I think you looked beautiful. FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS! emoticon
    1973 days ago
    Thanks for sharing your pictures! You look beautiful! The last 8 weeks of the year are always the hardest to stay on track. Luckily they're over now and a new year always brings new motivation.
    emoticon emoticon
    1973 days ago
    Very nice blog, you look beautiful in the pictures, and congrats on losing all that weight, that's a big step!
    I wish I could have lost half , but I'm working on it!
    I hope your friend is doing well,and I hope 2013 brings the changes that you want and deserve emoticon
    1973 days ago
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