I just want to cry!!!! :'( something has to give

Sunday, December 30, 2012

I find myself back in this terrible position of seeing 199.8 on the scale this morning. Can I just say how terrifying that feels... I know that there are people out there who would love to see their weight below 200, so don't take that the wrong way. I just had a conversation with my boyfriend about how much I had gained in the time that we had met. This boy's mom can cook, but unfortunately it isn't healthy stuff... not by far. I don't attribute her food entirely to gaining 30 pounds in 3 months... but regardless of how it came back... it's back! I'm on the verge of tears as I look at myself in the mirror. I only have one pair of jeans that I can fit into comfortably without having a horrendous muffin top. I feel like I can't dress cute because all my clothes make me look like a cow.... this low self-esteem is for the birds! It's been a little over a year since I was at this low point and weighed the same. I NEED HELP!!! I HAVE TO DO THIS... I HAVE TO START LIVING HEALTHIER! I don't want to diet, I want to be healthy... which yes, I do want to get to an ultimate weight goal, but in the process I really want to "train" myself to eat/live a healthier life. I want this to come natural, not something that I have to slave over. God please help me find the strength & will power to get my life in order this go around..... these are my goals:

~ Getting my HEALTH back
~Staying away from the doctor who could one day look at me and say "You have Type 2 Diabetes". I don't want to be faced with having to check my blood sugar and stick myself to administer insulin everyday of my life.
~Fitting into my clothes & being able to eventually get into a smaller size!
~Getting back to the point where I enjoy exercise, which could be a problem with my back issues, but I shall overcome them!!!

How do I plan to acheive these goals???

~No Soda .. I just finished what will be my last soda pop... a large Dr. Pepper from Wendy's (GOOD RIDDDDDDDDDDDANCE SODA POP!!!)
~No Fastfood ... NO MORE!!! NO MATTER WHAT!!! I'll starve before I put my lips around another greasy gross burger!
~Track ALL food EVERYday.. with the handy dandy Diet & Calorie app, this shouldn't be as hard as I like to think it is!
~Exercise AT LEAST 30 minutes a day
~Drink 120oz of water per day
~Eat smaller portions

...I'm sure I'll add to this as the days go by..

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Great goals - take it one day and one step at a time, and leave yourself some wiggle room. Also, do not forget to reward yourself along the way... emoticon
    2515 days ago
    I too can relate. I am setting almost the same goals as you! It is one day at a time and the choices are yours to make. This is what I tell myself. I know we can do this!!!
    2515 days ago
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    One day at a time..Never give up. It's Hard Work! Fall down 7 times ..get up 8!
    2515 days ago
    Your goals are great ; plan out your meals ahead of time if you are able to do it. Say one nice thing about yourself everyday :) Be happy with who you are now, and let the stress off yourself.
    One day at a time is good advice for any of us. Smile at least once every hour !!

    Best wishes to you in the New Year !!! You can do it !!! Keep going !!!

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    2516 days ago
    Your goals are great.......I think the most important tool is to "track" every piece of food you eat. When you track, it makes you more aware. I find making my menu the day before helps because you don't have to wonder and count calories or points each time you eat. Good luck emoticon
    2516 days ago
    Great goals! emoticon
    2516 days ago
    I know when that happens a person just wants to scream,hide or do something. Looks like you got the right idea. Here emoticon is to a Happy & Healthy 2013!
    2516 days ago
  • RUTHE_51
    Even though I don't know you, I know the frustration. Weight issues are probably going to be something we battle all of our lives. Accepting that has been helpful to me overall. You have good plans in place. I think it is not a complicated plan and will be easy to stick with. Best wishes to you for a great next year!
    2516 days ago
    I just got back from shopping, trying to find something cute to wear to a party tomorrow night. I can SO relate. I don't feel like I'll look cute in anything because all my friends at this party are tiny and I feel like the cow you mentioned. I'm just starting over and I can't do nearly what I could 50 lbs. ago, but I'm going to do what I can. I know I'll become motivated after seeing even a few pounds come off. I can't keep going like this either. Don't give up!
    2516 days ago
    Happy New Year!

    And you can do it -- no soda, cut the fast food, track *all* food, at least 8 glasses of water a day, smaller portions, and eating more slowly (so your body figures out that it's full!) -- we did this last year and it worked. And I remember starting to just *feel* better, sleep and breathe better, etc.

    One day at a time. And good luck.
    2516 days ago
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