Sunday, December 30, 2012

So I have been struggling for the past couple of weeks. I have an amazing NEW job and I love every day of it, no complaints what so ever. Here is the problem. When I was working the paper route and running myself into the ground, I had so much motivation to get out. I was working out, I was eating right, but ever since the new job, I've lost that motivation. I want to be an officer and eventually move to special agent. I just don't have the drive like I did before. It's so nice to have a normal job, with normal hours and holidays and weekends off. I love it so much. :)

I am struggling with my weight and feeling beautiful and thinking about what guy would EVER want THIS....I know it's all in my head, but right now it's a struggle. It's not helping that there was this guy I went on a date with and things didn't work out, no regrets, he's not the kind of person I want to be around. However on his profile, he has updated, whether its with regards to me or not, I don't know, but it still was a slap. He has now put on there that he's not rude or self-centered, but he's not attracted to larger girls. He had seen multiple pictures of me and we had discussed that I was bigger, so he just was a shock to see that.

I just feel blah and disgusting right now. I need a pick me up and to get my act together. I NEED to figure out if my end goal is to still be a cop/agent. I NEED my DRIVE back....

LOL I still love my job and after having only been there for 4 months, I am interviewing for a promotion this week :) I must be doing something right. :)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Focus on the good stuff, and don't look at profiles of guys you have rejected! It can't lead to good feelings, and if you are sensitive to that sort of thing, it won't do you any good.

    I think if you focus on what you like about yourself, and what you like to do, you will find some peace, and that may help your motivation. If not, fake it till you make it!
    2854 days ago
  • KELPIE57
    You are doing lots right, and you know it!
    2855 days ago
  • CANDOK1260
    It sounds to me like you doing alot right keep it up
    2855 days ago
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