Sunday, December 30, 2012
So I have been struggling for the past couple of weeks. I have an amazing NEW job and I love every day of it, no complaints what so ever. Here is the problem. When I was working the paper route and running myself into the ground, I had so much motivation to get out. I was working out, I was eating right, but ever since the new job, I've lost that motivation. I want to be an officer and eventually move to special agent. I just don't have the drive like I did before. It's so nice to have a normal job, with normal hours and holidays and weekends off. I love it so much. :)
I am struggling with my weight and feeling beautiful and thinking about what guy would EVER want THIS....I know it's all in my head, but right now it's a struggle. It's not helping that there was this guy I went on a date with and things didn't work out, no regrets, he's not the kind of person I want to be around. However on his profile, he has updated, whether its with regards to me or not, I don't know, but it still was a slap. He has now put on there that he's not rude or self-centered, but he's not attracted to larger girls. He had seen multiple pictures of me and we had discussed that I was bigger, so he knew....it just was a shock to see that.
I just feel blah and disgusting right now. I need a pick me up and to get my act together. I NEED to figure out if my end goal is to still be a cop/agent. I NEED my DRIVE back....
LOL I still love my job and after having only been there for 4 months, I am interviewing for a promotion this week :) I must be doing something right. :)