12.28.12 work venting/considering change

Friday, December 28, 2012

Got in another great workout tonight. And man did I feel better after that! lol

Work was awful again today. Told my main boss that I was job hunting. I hated to do it but my stomach is upset at the thought of going to work and I get headaches just being there. My immediate boss really needs to retire and she is making my job so much more difficult by refusing to do so. She's like 74, getting forgetful, but is still a control freak so I'm suppose to clear all my phone calls, and decisions through her. If a customer is chewing me out she doesn't come to help me or deal with it..even though she is my boss and paid more than I am..I'm taking on more and more of her work..she uses the excuse "she's training me for when she retires" but she's been saying that for 10 years! She can't stand change..feel there is no need for it..won't let us accept plastic for payment from customers..still balances cash on paper cause "computer can't do it right", doesn't feel there is every a need to spend money to replace broken stuff, etc...

Anyway I could go on and on about what makes me unhappy..when what I really want to do is express my feelings about the talk with my boss and the idea of finding a new job.

I'm glad I talked to boss about it, even though I know it upset him. I feel good that I was able to tell him my feelings and it made me feel good to know that he wants me to stay. I'm not sure anything can be done about the problem (as talking to her about stuff tends to make her resentful and she takes it out on me when we are alone) but at least he knows how I feel and I know he wants me there and wants me to take her job when/if she retires.

The thought of a new job scares me so much! And like I told him I'm not sure I'll accept another job, I won't take just the first one that comes will have to meet certain requirements. I've been where I'm at long enough that while I don't make a lot of money I'm doing okay so not sure I can find another job that matches more of the jobs will include driving so gas money. Plus some of the benefits where I'm at are really good. So logically it doesn't make sense for me to leave but at the same time I am so stressed and unhappy there that it's not good for me. I'm working on controlling my stress/unhappy eating but dealing with her everyday just makes it more difficult. If I knew there was an end in sight it would be a different story but she has promised for 10 years to retire soon and obviously nothing happens. Her attitude has gotten very negative so it's bitching all day long and it wears on me and I find myself doing it to..I don't like the person I am around her. It's easy to say just don't be that but I'm around her for 40 hours a week and it wears on me.

I have spent quite a bit of time in therapy discussing my job and that's just ridiculous! Especially when she is the main reason we discuss it! yes customers upset me and yes I get tired of dealing with them but she is main problem.. sigh....

So I'm trying to put together a resume. OMG! Resumes have changed so much in 15 years! lol I'm totally putting out an sos to my 25 year old sister..hehe Younger sisters should be good for that sort of stuff right?!

I do worry that if I get to interview stage that my weight will be held against me but not much I can do about it I guess. I'm trying to lose but all I can do it tell them how great I could do that job and hope my history shows them.

Oh boss and I did discuss things I want to change if she leaves and we are on the same page on so much stuff!! The office could be so great to work in!!

Son is waiting on me to cut his hair so guess I need to get off of here..haven't even proofread this so sorry for any errors..and while I'm sure I've written a book I feel like I could go on even more about this stuff.

So guess I need to do some praying and some working on my resume.

(didn't realize I used the word "so" so much..hehe)

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I feel for you and the terrible situation you are in. From my past experiences, sometimes just putting together a fresh resume and starting to look makes you feel better about things. Come up with a Plan B for yourself so if things stay on the path of the rotten boss, you will have alternatives.

    As others have mentioned also, there are tons of resosources online. You are also in the catbird seat of being employed while you are looking. That is in a much stronger position than being out of work.

    Good luck! We are here for you!
    2301 days ago
  • _KATHY
    If nothing else, I hope venting will help you cope until your decisions become more clear. I'm also happy to see you letting your feelings known to the main boss. It seems to me that sharing that has lessened the frustration even if a tiny bit. You're right. Prayer helps. The answers will come. Good luck dear lady. You deserve some peace where you spend most of your day.
    2305 days ago
  • GEORGE815
    Sounds like you are experiencing some drama at work. I have had some of those years at work myself. Unfortunately they get worse before they get better. Hope you have somewhere to land if this job continues to be non-supportive. Nice of you to tell them your in the active phase of looking for something else. I have lost jobs at that point. Good luck!
    2305 days ago
    I was where you are, good pay, good benefits, several years on the job, supervisory position, etc., but my supervisor was literally making me sick to the point of needing anxiety medication. I was working 70 hours a week (salaried) trying to do all she expected, and for the first time in my working history I received a written warning for substandard work. That sent me reeling. I still have shame when I think of it. Somehow it over shadowed all the stellar reviews I has received prior to her becoming my supervisor.
    I had to leave the job, it was a matter of my health.
    It took 10 months to find something else, and yes I feel my weight was held against me. I passed several written portions of interviews, but never could get past the oral interview.
    As i said, it took 10 months to find my current job, no benefits at all and 40% less pay.
    Was it worth it? I think I have to say it was. I am broke but at least I am still functioning.
    I really believe the last job would have killed me, most likely by heart attack or stroke.
    I hope God has something better planned for me soon because this is not the right job for me, but for now I will take it and be grateful to be employed.

    I wish you the best of luck with your job.
    2305 days ago
    I know a lot of people going through this right now- I went through it several years back. And as I realized I was 'aging' (lol) I knew that I really did deserve to spend my 40 hours a week at a place where 1. I was appreciated for my talents/skills and 2. made me feel I was doing something positive for the world and not feeling like I wanted to cry every time I left. It was the scariest/best thing I ever did. I'm really proud of you for telling your boss- that was a great first step! You can check out resumes online also and there is probably someplace in your town they'll look it over for you and help you network. Right now you're only doing footwork- and footwork is okay to do. It doesn't have to mean any more than that. Good luck! Let us know how things go.
    2305 days ago
    I'm sorry that you're unhappy with your job and that she won't retire. I think it's great that you were able to talk to the big boss about it. It's good to be heard, and it's also a great feeling to know that he wants you to stay. I hope that your direct supervisor retires soon so that your job gets better.
    2305 days ago
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