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Aren't you glad you're not me?

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Man, was I looking forward to having a week and a half off. I'd been feeling really run down and wanted a chance to relax and refresh. But then I realized I wasn't just tired from working too much - I was actually sick. Long story short, I have shingles. Shingles! WTF! I have very itchy spots on my abdomen and back, and I'm kind of exhausted. Oh, and I think I have PMS too.

On top of that, my weight is the highest it's ever been and I so desperately want to do something about it but I feel like I have no energy to even come up with a plan. And I just turned 35, so I'm now officially old when it comes to getting pregnant. (Our attempts at conceiving have been put on hold until after we've seen a specialist, which we're doing in early Jan.) I kind of cry whenever I hear about other people's babies or pregnancies, which is all the freaking time. I think I'm depressed.

I'm hoping I'll have something more cheerful to write about soon. Just so this post isn't totally negative, here's a picture of "my" dog (actually my parents') on his 11th birthday the other week:

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I had shingles two years ago.....SO UNBELIEVABLY PAINFUL! (Yours were more itchy than painful? I's consider that lucky then! lol.)

    I also know how you feel about the babies, though Ive been told it would be near impossible to conceive, so at least I don't have the question that you do.

    But as someone with chronic health problems (see my many blogs if you want to know), I understand how run done life can get ya! Nothing you can do but take it one day at a time (which is SOOO not what you want to hear when you're bummed. But it's true.) Hugs!
    1992 days ago
    I'm so sorry you're not feeling well! Has the shingles improved?

    I've been the exact same way about other people's pregnancies and I hate it! I had 2 little breakdowns over the holidays. We're setting up an appt with a specialist this month, too.

    1999 days ago
    2000 days ago
    Awww, I love the dog!!

    Wishing you better health - shingles are the WORST - I have never had them, but Larry did a few years ago and it was awful for him. I hope by NYE (tonight!) they are gone and you can enjoy something fun with your cute hubby!

    Happy New Year!
    2001 days ago
    Shingles are horrid !!! :( emoticon emoticon
    2002 days ago
    I am sorry that you are dealing with all of this negative stuff right now. Shingles sounds painful and I hope that you have a speedy recovery. I am thinking that the specialist appt is definitely a step in the right direction. Things will get better because YOU deserve it!
    2003 days ago

    So sorry all this shti is being thrown your way lately. Please hang in there and try to rest up, relax, and not stress. Everything will work out. Please don't hesitate to message me if you need to talk or vent or anything.

    2004 days ago
    Man- what a bummer... I have a zit on my abdomen and feel rundown- yuck! And I feel all bloated and stuff... PMS? Not that it'll make YOu feel better :(

    I've been in your place before, where I felt so beaten down- like no energy to pick up the pieces. The thing is- you WILL get through this! And you'll get back to feeling good- winter, PMS, the baby thing, feeling fat definitely could contribute to feeling all depressed- I wished I had a magic wand and could make it all better Susan!
    All I do know is that doing something will make you feel better--- right now, it's all about feeling hopeful- so going to that specialist will give you that sense of being proactive. Plus, I firmly believe that getting your body as ready as possible for a happy, healthy pregnancy might a little motivator, even if for now, all you do is eat that 1 piece of fruit and that leave that 1 piece of chocolate in the garbage--- just my thoughts.

    Know that this is a phase just like any other phase and that this won't last forever- you'll feel better- eventually. In the meantime, try to hang on to those feelings of feeling good and do your best to practice the behaviors that come with it- without feeling guilty about any inadequacies... basically EMBRACE it all... even the tears. I really feel for you- HUGS!

    But first and foremost - do rest and take care of yourself to get over this crapola shingle thing!

    Happy New Year! Keep us posted on your appointment and I'll be thinking of you guys :-)

    Happy New Year!
    2004 days ago
    *hugs* emoticon

    sorry to hear you're down. :( Totally understandable, though. There are moms who talk about their kids from time to time and I'm okay with that, and then there are others whom I just want to punch in the throat. Life isn't fair that people who never wanted to be parents are blessed with children but people who have always wanted to be parents go through all this pain :(


    I hope the specialists in January can help.
    2004 days ago
    Susan, I am so sorry about how your life is going right now! I hope it gets better soon. Being sick is miserable!
    2004 days ago
    Sending much love and hoping you feel better soon. I'm glad you're seeing a specialist too.
    2004 days ago
    First off, you aren't too old to get pregnant. My step mom got pregnant after 35. Hopefully with the specialist's help, you can too. Don't give up. Secondly, I'm so very sorry you aren't feeling well. I've been there plenty of times, and it isn't fun. I hope you feel better soon. Lastly, as for having no energy to exercise, why don't you try Yoga or walking? I did some Yoga over the weekend when I wasn't feeling well; I had loads of energy and felt 100x better.

    Keep your chin up, girl. You are beautiful. You are worth so much. emoticon
    2004 days ago
    Wow, sweetie!! I hope you're feeling better soon and that the specialist has some good news for you. Thinking of you!!
    2004 days ago
  • MRS.NG.06
    Oh sweetie! I feel for you so much, you've been through alot and now you got shingles...good heavens! YOU ARE NOT OLD to be getting preggers! It'll happen, I know it will. Here's to a HEALTHY and FERTILE 2013 to you and yours xooxooxo *HUGS*
    2004 days ago
    Oh my- that is one big bad ball of crap!
    I am so sorry.
    Hope 2013 dawns bright and cheery for you.
    2005 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    2005 days ago
    Xoxoxo. I hear shingles suck. A lady in our church just had that. So sorry and hope you feel better soon.
    2005 days ago
    Oh Susan I am so sorry :( :( :( I know how painful shingles can be. It is absolutely miserable. I feel so bad that you are having such a hard time right now. I truly hope things start to turn around for you soon! Have you thought about going to see a counseler and talking things out?? I know when I am having a difficult time in my life, it always helps to talk to someone that really knows nothing about me or what Im going through. Just a thought. Keep your head up..good things WILL come your way!
    2005 days ago
    i have never had chicken pox so luckily i can't get shingles! sorry you are feeling depressed. you have been on quite the roller coaster. it sucks too when we get that sense of heightened observation about whatever we are NOT trying to think/focus about/on.

    try to keep your chin up and hopefully the specialist can get you guys the answers you need to make the decision about your future.

    happy new year!
    2005 days ago
    Oh man, shingles is supposed to be really painful. I'm so sorry :(
    It sucks when things stack up like that. Sometimes the symptoms of shingles can be reduced if you reduce your stress. it might help to talk to someone about everything you're going through, to make it less overwhelming. Don't worry about things like weight loss right now. Just take care of yourself.

    Big hugs emoticon
    2005 days ago
    2005 days ago
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