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A Brand New Love Affair

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Hello Spark Peeps!

I knew that I'd been neglecting my blogs, but I didn't realize how much neglect was there. No posts in pretty much two months! I think that is a record for me.

This is the time of year when, if you're like me, you do a lot of reflection on the past year. Maybe you make some plans for the year just around the corner. I've been doing a lot of both.

It's pretty obvious to me that I need to make some life changes. I'm over-scheduled and over-stressed and I've got to let some things go. Then I need to gradually select some new things to add in.

One thing I'm going to work on in the new year...

I need to consciously start working on my love affair with myself.

I've noticed lately that a lot of my mental conversations are nasty. I'm constantly beating myself up. For eating the wrong things. For having a messy desk. For not working hard enough to maintain relationships with friends and family.

If anyone else said these things, I'd go on the war path. I would make it my mission to take down the person with stinging, self-serving passive aggression. But if I'm the author of the noise, it settles in like background music, the constant hum the soundtrack of my daily life. I imagine it's kind of like the the hidden messages that were supposed to be embedded into your records that you could only hear when you played them backwards!

So the skeleton of my 2013 goals will revolve around ways that I can learn more about and honor myself. If I don't extend kindness to myself, I can't expect anyone else to either. It also limits my ability to share kindness with those I encounter.

I'm still working it out, but I'll post more about it as we get through these last days of 2012 and early days of 2013.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am right there with you!
    1973 days ago
    That poster that you put up is right on target - it is essential that we care for ourselves, but we're often the first ones to be held in contempt. Why? I don't know. But your recognition of the problem becomes the first step in solving it. Looking forward to seeing your New Years Goals!
    1976 days ago
    I need to do the same thing!
    1977 days ago
    Yes, yes, yes!
    In the Hip Mama survival guide, Ariel Gore made a comment about negative self talk. She compared it to people living on your couch. She pointed out that we'd toss out those non-rent paying crackheads on our couch, so why were we letting them live rent free in our heads?

    I still have to kick out the crackheads. And my son is now 21.
    How is THAT for great parenting advice? I gave the book away when he was in third grade.
    1977 days ago
  • CC3833
    I like this. I know what you mean. And I think you really hit the nail on the head. We never put ourselves first and we suffer because of it. This blog came just in time. My coworker just asked me what my new years resolution was going to be. And I had no idea. Now I do. Be nicer to myself!!!
    1977 days ago
  • JACKIE4019
    Sounds like a good start

    1977 days ago
    I so hear ya!! If we were as hard on a friend as we are on ourselves, they would tell us to "step off'! They would not tolerate it! Why should we tolerate it of ourselves? I will be working on the same things in my new year~lets stay in cahoots!! emoticon
    1978 days ago
    1978 days ago
    Your writing style is awesome. I was just enraptured in the word choices. I think your intelligence alone is enough reason to love yourself. Great blog!
    1978 days ago
  • CAT609
    Good luck on your new goals! emoticon
    1978 days ago
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