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You Might Be A Christmas Redneck If......

Monday, December 24, 2012

-Your grandma's beard is more impressive than Santa's.

-You use the cobwebs in the corners of your house as tinsel for the Christmas tree.

-You really do ask Santa for your two front teeth.

-All your plastic Pink Flamingos yard ornaments have on Santa hats.

-You decorate your tree with fishing lures.

-You leave beer and nuts for Santa, instead of milk and cookies.

-Your outdoor lights are bug zappers.

-You use your Rudolph lawn ornament for bow & arrow practice.

-You have enough cars in the front yard to dress up and name for every reindeer

-If you think The Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.

-If squirrels still live in your Christmas tree.

-If you have to put an electric fence around your Christmas tree to keep your dog from peeing on it.

-The gift exchange at school pretty much involves you and your cousins.

-You use Whiteout on the card you get from your mama to give to your girlfriend.

-You have more lights working on the outside of your trailer than you do on the inside.

-You have a tree stand in your yard and a salt lick on your roof.

-Grandma finally gave you her moon shine recipe as a gift for Christmas.

-The cops stake out in front of your house on Christmas morning so they can arrest most of your family in one

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