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Sparked at the gym

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Saturday, December 22, 2012

The gym I use closes at 4pm on weekends in the winter. This is irritating, but so long as I remember to leave home by 3pm I can get my workout in.

So today, this is what I do. Arrive, sling coat in locker, get on treadmill etc etc. Keep an eagle eye open because I want one of the two elliptical wossnames that are in pole position, right under the telly. After ten minutes, the person on one of them feels my eyes boring into the back of her head and hops it. I grab.

This is my favourite piece of gym equipment (apart from the water dispenser. And the cafe next door). I love the way you get hot and sweaty without having painful muscles, and I ADORE what using it does for the shape of my posterior. So I'm on the elliptical, and Nigella Lawson is on the telly in front of me.

I don't know if you get Nigella in the States? She is famous for many things, including a book called 'How to be a domestic goddess' which is about baking, and for making cookery programmes that should be X-rated, just for the way she can lick a spoon. She's amazingly beautiful and rich and the whole time you're watching her programmes what she says and does is very tongue in cheek and she includes you in the joke. This bit off YouTube is one of her Christmas programmes, not the one I was watching today but you get the idea.

Where was I? Ah yes, wearing out the elliptical. I stayed on it half an hour, a personal best. Nigella was my inspiration. She's nearly 53 and looks stunning. If she eats the stuff she cooks she must work out for about three hours a day.

Then I moved over to the stationary bike, and a different telly, and was just getting settled in when the BBC's 4pm news came up.

4pm? In other words closing time at the gym? I had completely lost track of the time. I did 45 minutes without counting them, and would have gone on for longer had it not been chucking out time. This has never happened to me before.

So thanks Nigella and I really don't mind that you are beautiful and rich and slim and charming. Not much.
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