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Seeking balance, seeking peace

Thursday, December 20, 2012

It has been a week of reckoning. Little holiday nibblies added up to another 1-pound gain. The good part: I never binged, lost control, or just chucked the whole SP thing out the window. The bad part: I had a little bite of this and a little sip of that all week, and my body's reaction was loud and clear. The lesson: I really can't do that anymore if I want to keep my energy high and continue losing weight.

The nibblies started from my misguided sense that I could have more balance. After all, the weight was coming off nicely and in a smooth progression. When I read the Daily Blog entry on how little bites can add up quickly -- sometimes to as much as 600 calories! -- it all clicked. That's exactly what my body had experienced last week; it's what my body was telling me, too. So, really, having more nibblies and martinis is not the balance I seek.

So what is the balance I seek?

Before SP, I had to work to find ways to fit good parenting, nutrition, and exercise into the time I wasn't devoting to my job. The job came first; my family and my health came second.

For the past few months, I've experimented with flipping that equation. Instead, I've started finding ways to fit my job into a life that is primarily devoted to good parenting, nutrition, and exercise. Being an attentive parent, planning and executing nutritious meals, and daily exercise are the new givens in my day. My job has to fit into the time I'm not devoting to those things.

On paper, it doesn't actually look like very much changed. In my head, though, the difference in approach is enormous. The intention makes all the difference.

Yes, I'll still fulfill my work obligations, and yes, I'll still put in the requisite hours on the job. But it won't take over every aspect of my life again. Instead, each morning I wake to a healthy breakfast and a satisfying workout. Then I work -- but only for the hours I'm contracted for. No more of this working like crazy for free because I think it will do somebody some good. It doesn't. I've learned that all it does is burn me out and lead to overweight and depression.

With balance, I can focus on my parenting and my health first, and let the job simply be what it is. I can let go of hoping it will be more satisfying than that. In 20 years, it hasn't been, in spite of my best efforts. It still won't be tomorrow, or the next day. And that's okay: I'll take care of my daughter and myself instead, and we'll both be much happier.

With this balance, I believe I'll find the peace I've been seeking. I've established a good start on it over the past 2 months ... and I'm hopeful that momentum will carry me into the new year. And beyond.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon hereĀ“s to balance
    1979 days ago
    I am thinking the same thing. Could relate to this blog very well.
    Have been trying to do the same thing.....you would think I could do better at it, since I am semi-retired (only work part-time) but they just keep leaning harder on me and sucking more out of me. Our individual circumstances are probably quite different, but the idea is the same. , Last night (when I woke up in the middle of the night worrying about all that I had to get done), I arrived more at the idea of "balance" being the thing I needed to work on. I made a general schedule for myself and even revised my "to do" list as well as some of my plans for 2013 list. BTW, I did go back to sleep for another 3 hours and feel much better this AM. My big thing is that I need to say "no" to some things, and not be too proud or afraid to ask for help from others. Is there a team for what we are talking about? I just joined a couple that I think are relevant.
    1981 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/21/2012 8:55:11 AM
    Your emotional and mental growth just amaze me!!! The work/home balance thing is genius. You are SO right!
    1982 days ago
    good luck. you are making the right choices to put yourself and your family first. Ajob is a job but people are everything. good luck with your nibbling. i find myself in the same situation. New year is going to be a better and healthier one for me.
    1982 days ago
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