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I have finally returned......

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

I was listening to the radio this morning while getting ready for work. It was an advertisement regarding depression awareness. You've probably heard it. It goes something like "No one tells a diabetic to suck it up, we don't tell a heart patient to ignore it and it will go away. Depression is an illness for which you are never completely cured, it is a chemical imbalance and there is medication. Do not continue to suffer alone."

If you haven't figured it out by now through the thyroid medication debocle, I have depression. The medical term is Moderate Clinical Depression with Panic Anxiety. The cat is out of the bag, and it's not going back in. After the Dr. checked my thyroid on Friday, he adjusted a medication I take for depression.

Here's the thing about depression; when you have it, it is similar to gaining weight. You don't know how far you've gone down hill until you it *hits* you. You go through day to day with a "survival instinct," much like someone starving for food. When the food is finally given to you, it is a relief.

Thus why I say today ..... I have returned.

Depression and food (for me) go hand in hand, but in a weird way. When I am totally stressed out, I can't eat. When I am depressed, I want carbs and "can't" exercise. For the past 6 weeks or so, I've literally been forcing myself to finish the protein and fat calories at the end of the day. I haven't been to the gym in 16 days.

That is all past.

I look forward to the holidays with my family. I made 22 fruit baskets at work today! I'm thinking about doing some holiday baking tonight. I've got just 10 pounds left to lose and that should be gone in less than a month. I'm going to wear a pair of size 12 jeans.

Life is good and I'm moving forward.

P.S. If you have a feeling of helplessness, no joy in things you once enjoyed, forget things, are irritable or fly off the handle, sleeping too much or too little, exhausted at the end of work.... these are some symptoms of depression. Do not suffer in silence. See your doctor, tell a friend or loved one. Do not be embarrassed or worry what people will say.
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