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This time of year

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

I am struggling. I didn't work out much last week. Not that I wasn't motivated or didn't want to, but for a few days I had some sort of stomach virus that had me in a lot of pain and very very tired with no energy. never had a fever, but was not able to work out. I did try to eat less just to counteract it. I started again on track this week so far. zumba and strength training. feel good about it. I'm still struggling with the tragedy that happened in Newtown CT. I have a 10 year old and a 4 year old in elementary school. this hit home so hard for me. I had to have a conversation with my 10 year old about what happened. She took it well and we discussed how she felt. She was sad, but realized that this wasn't her school so I think it is kind of over for her. I still get tears when I read something about it. Last night my show I watch "The Voice" they all sang the Alleluia (sp) song. They each held up cards of the names and ages of those that were killed. I was crying so hard. My 4 year old asks me why are there so many sixes on the cards and asked me why I was so upset. I hadn't planned on telling her any of this, but I simply told her that a very bad man did a very bad thing by killing some kids and their teacher's. She took it pretty well. I told her that is why we have rules at home and at school and she needs to listen to her teacher. Especially if there is an emergency. At least she didn't get scared. I told her that it was my job to keep her as safe as I could.

In any event, I'm torn up about it. It is so sad. I know that there have been many other tragedies especially this year and it makes me sad, how much loss and destruction there has been this year. in the last 30 years that have been 63 mass murders in the United States 8 this year. That doesn't include the horrible huge storms that we have had in the last 10 years. It is so sad. I don't feel safe anywhere anymore. I have to protect my family, but how do you do that in a world that feels like it is falling apart. I don't know the answers. I think that there needs to be more education on mental health, guns and bullying. I think that there needs to be less access to violent video games, violent movies, etc. When you have children that are only seeing the violence in games, movies and tv, they become desensitized to it. They don't see the wrong in it. If children are bullied for so many years, eventually they turn that anger on themselves or others. If someone is mentally ill and doesn't get any help, what happens to them?

I know my kids school has a group come in a puppet show that speaks about bullying and sexual abuse. Just two things that are rampant. I'm glad the school is opening their doors to this. the kids and parents alike need to be educated. when parents are stuck working and dont' have a lot of time to spend with their kids, what happens to them? I see it all the time in my apt. complex. kids run around after school, no parents around and they do whatever they want. They vandalize, cuss, bully, etc. I've had to stick up to some of them when two little boys 6 maybe threatened to punch my 4 year old daughter. I went to them, and went to the office. the office eventually evicted the family becuase the mother just let these boys out and do whatever they wanted and never supervised them. it saddens me that i see so many kids running around without supervision. my building is different, we all look out for each others kids and we have no problem reprimanding them when they are doing something wrong.

anyway, sorry about the rant, i had to get it out.
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