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Week in review and some funny jokes I hope

Monday, December 17, 2012

Week in review and some funny jokes I hope
I say my whole week was not good too much stress at work and home. Friday was just the kidder I made a hugh mistake at work and then the shooting. I was pretty effected by the shooting because when I was a kid one of my best bud was shot dead,
Last week, I am proud to report that I accomplished:

Cardio: I am getting a lot of cardio in with my new phone app nexercisr II been mixing them up on different day and it really working
Strength: I been getting a lots of it thru my personal trainer
I went to my bro church last night and didn’t cause any fight and kept my mouth close
is week, I am going to: try harder
I been getting at least 8 cups of water in a day and yes I know it should be 12 and it usally is
Something I am good at that has nothing to do with exercise is:
Writing my blog
Something that I find irresistible doing that has nothing to do with exercise is:
Learning to cook
I am going to integrate these two things into my healthy week by:
Using my blog to release stress and will try to cook healthier
Something out of the ordinary that is happening this week is:
I am going to have to be very flexable with my workout since all week I have no ideas when I will be getting home
I am determined to give my best this week because:
I am important
My goals for the week of dec
Now that I seen the doctor I know I need to get more serious with counting calories I will also be using my spark t app for
My power songs will be: I am women hear me roar and eye of the tiger
I won't forget: to get some sleep
\How many fitness minutes do you want to try to achieve? 440

how many pounds would you reasonably like to lose? I loss a pound this week and will like to lose a pound next weekwhat new activities would you like to try? Doing more of my exercise at night as well as morning
what has been working for you that you would like to continue? My personal trainer been working for me
what hasn't been working and should be changed? I NEED TO TRY TO COUNT CALORIES everyday nt just when I want
what I been doing well
1.Been keeping up with my exercises
2 I think I been a good motivational leader for my cat team and been motivating some of my caocjh k team
3. Did seem get some good quality time in with mom and my sis this week
4. Seem to be getting on better with my twin this week

Things I need to work on without beating myself up
1. Need to not eat so much for snack time
2. Need to get more vegetable into diet
3. Need to start counting calories everydaty
4. need to to learn to be happy by myself with mom this is a learning experience she 85 she won’ be here forever
Now for the fun part my jokes at least I hope they funny
jokes Based on Clever Use of Language:
1) A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'
2) Robert went to his lawyer and said, 'I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it.' The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied, 'Not a problem, leave it all to me.'
Robert looked somewhat upset and said, 'Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too!'
3) Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
4) Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening. The last thing they do is put their cat out.
The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in.
Terry returns inside to chase it out. Brenda, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, 'My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.'
Several minutes later, an exhausted Terry arrives and climbs back into the taxi saying, 'Sorry I took so long, the stupid idiot was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger several times before I could get her to come out!'
5) A policeman spotted a jay walker and decided to challenge him, 'Why are you trying to cross here when there's a zebra crossing only 20 metres away?'
'Well,' replied the jay walker, 'I hope it's having better luck than me.'
A joke About a Husband
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.'
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, 'No he didn't. He just walked in the door
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