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Thursday, December 13, 2012

(There is a reason for this rant--wanted to get it out while Hanukkah is being celebrated and Christmas is coming and because I believe in Santa Claus! Mmmm--wonder if he is gay too? I'll have to ask him this Christmas Eve!)

Have I been wrong all these years identifying myself as gay? When I am asked who I am the first thing I will say is, "I am a gay man." I define myself as such as being gay has touched everything I do and say. I look and hear with gay eyes and ears and I write and think from a gay point of view. I throw my gayness in your face as for 70+ years I have had the nongay life thrown in mine. I don't understand gay men who shun the term--when applied to them. I have had people say I am too gay and others say I am not gay enough

I have to read blogs by people who have no idea what being gay means in our society. I have been called names by christians who claim they are talking for g-d and muslims who want to kill me. I read I want 'special' rights just because I want equal rights. I have been told in comments that I am 'less than' or someone is anti gay or not pro gay or that as an old gay man I must be cruising young men and all that garbage. (By the way I have always gone for older men and now that I am 76 the field is very limited!)

Oh yes let's not forget these people will tell you they have gay friends or know gay people just like as a teenager in the Bronx I was told they had Jewish friends or knew and/or worked with Jewish people and now will talk about their black friends. Yes they have their token Jewish, gay and/or black friends to parade around---on a blog! LOL

Oh, this is all so confusing. Am I gay? Semi-gay? (Can you be a 'little' pregnant?) Am I a nongay man living in a gay body? Because I am, basically, trade in bed does that make me a 'man'? Do I claim I am gay because it is the 'in' thing to be gay?

I sometimes wonder if I am really gay or it is just a phase I am going through?? (Okay so the phase has lasted over 70 years but...!)

Yes, I like Barbra, Judy, Bette (both Midler & Davis), Cher, Crawford, etc., (and I call them all by one name) theatre, movies, musicals, women blues singers, birds, nature and romance.

I don't like football, baseball--basically any team sports--but do like swimming, tennis and bowling.

I am (very) promiscuous.

I don't believe in marriage--at least for me--no, for gays or nongays!

I am not 'swishy', 'fem' (in or out of bed), don't have blonde hair or even streaks in my hair and am certainly, not, by a definition a twinkie! Not that there is anything wrong with that! LOL

Body tattoos that show when clothes are worn or piercing of any kind turn me off as do Paris, Nicole, Lindsey, Ashley, the Beckmans, Jolie and Brad, etc. Not that there is anything wrong with that!

I appreciate beautiful women and think the perfume TV commercial with Charlize Theron is pure sexuality.

Drag queens don't do a thing for me though I do appreciate what they have done for me.

Calling men 'she', Mary', 'get her', 'sister, etc., is a put down in my eyes.

Crude, rude men are neanderthals.

I'm sensitive to people and animals hurting and I will face down a bully anytime.

I have no idea what someone is referring to when they say 'gay lifestyle'. And though I have asked many people who have used it what they mean I never get an answer!

When I was a gay activist I worked behind the scenes.

Have I been wrong all these years identifying myself as a gay man? Oh well, I guess because I like to have sex with men I'm 'stuck' with that label--guess I will have to learn to grin and bare it! Alas, poor me--NOT!

For the record I am an out, proud gay man who is happy, has friends, enjoys life and am waiting for Santa Claus to get here--I am tired being a good boy!
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