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Emotional Eating (a totally unimaginative title, content not much better)

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

I'm only recently realizing how much of an emotional eater I am. Even as I type that, it's hard to accept and I'm not sure why. But I do know and freely admit that I am pretty much totally at the mercy of my emotions when it comes to life in general. If I feel depressed or even happy, I have a lot of trouble visualizing myself EVER feeling any differently. And I know that it's crazy and that at some point I'll feel the exact opposite and think the exact same way - that I couldn't possibly ever feel any differently again. But knowing it in my crazy little brain doesn't change a thing. I still completely live inside that moment of whatever I'm feeling and it dictates all of my action. So really, its a miracle that I've managed to lose any weight at all, considering that the conditions have to be just right.

That's the extent of my knowledge on the subject. I definitely don't know how to fix it. Because in that moment, when I'm stressed out or upset, I just don't care and I convince myself that I'll never care again. But I always do care again obviously. Typical as soon as I've finished eating whatever it was.

Can you really learn to change this behavior? It's so natural to me that like I said, I've only recently really become aware of it. True to form, I can't imagine ever being any different. All I can do is hope the even-keel days out number the emotional break down days. But they kinda don't.

I feel like throughout this whole process, its been one step forward two steps back. I can never sustain any kind of consistency. How much further would I be if I didn't do that to myself? I hit my 50lb goal and went on a 4 day carb binge that I'm still trying to come back from. And I had basically convinced myself that I could do it because I look fine, its not a big deal if my weight loss slows down, I'm content. But as soon as I'm in the middle of it, I feel hideously fat and disgusting and ashamed and mad at myself for wrecking my progress because I still have so far to go.

blah. thats where im at. but dont worry, I'll probably have a totally different attitude tomorrow.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hang in there!! We all have those up and down emotions. emoticon
    1987 days ago
    I have had issues with emotional eating my entire life. Sometimes I don't give into it and other times I do. For me, the key is to find an alternate way to deal with whatever emotion it is that I'm feeling. If I'm eating because I'm happy I have to make a very conscious effort to do something like calling a friend to share my good news instead. It's harder if I'm eating because I'm depressed or anxious...exercise and deep breathing can help sometimes. It will at least make me slow down a little before I go carb-crazy!
    There's a good Emotional Eaters team here on Spark. Check it out if you're interested.
    1988 days ago
  • LMH1223
    I am totally with you on this!! I'm still working on admitting it, I still sometimes don't want to all though I totally know the truth! The fact that we know this is one of the biggest steps for us! I'm horrible with recoginzing it as it's happening and then deciding I've already started the out of control eating, why not keep going?!?! I need to stop this!!

    Hang in there!! We can do this!!
    1988 days ago
  • JENSDAY1012
    I totally understand. I've been trying to figure it out myself. COXBETH mentioned AA and that's what it kind of feels like when I look back on it. Like I needed a fix to make myself feel better. But I never do after. It's a tough road but at least we're not on it alone. Hope you get to feeling better soon! emoticon
    1988 days ago
    Thanks for sharing. I totally hear you and I am totally at a loss of what to do about it too. Its like you lose a part of your brain while it is happening and then after you're like "ummm did I black out just then? What was I thinking?!" I just can't seem to catch myself "in the moment" and stop it you know? Hugs to you girly, this stinks for sure!
    1989 days ago
    We can ride this roller coaster together. Up and down! lol! We can do this though. We will get there! emoticon
    1989 days ago
    I just get through things with the AA mantras. I don't have to make the right choice for the rest of my life, I don't even have to make the right choice for the rest of the day or the rest of the hour. I just make a right choice this minute and deal with the next minute when it gets here.

    Sometimes it works and I get through it, sometimes it doesn't, but at least I got through one or two more minutes than I would have in the past. ;)
    1989 days ago
    1989 days ago
  • KATIEM929
    I'm so with you! Totally an emotional eater - even though the rational part of me understands that I won't feel that way forever, my emotions take over and I give in. My goal right now is to just recognize it while I'm in the moment so that I can make a conscious decision on how to proceed...that's about all I can manage for myself right now. Good luck on your journey!

    1989 days ago
    Thank you for share your story, I am sure your not the only one who has done this.
    But you will be ok you can get back on track and keep pushing. Keep up the good work you look awesome.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1989 days ago
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