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Fight the demons

Friday, December 07, 2012

I have this tendency to start a blog...and then delete it lately. I'm up to counting 4 in the last 2 weeks. And there are various reasons I do this, but it's mainly because sometimes I get to thinking that since I am steady and stable, no one is going to want to read what I write...and other times I am thinking that maybe I am coming off too harsh in what I'm writing... because after a few years of reading some things, or observing things, I can get a bit pissy and it comes off in what I write.

So instead of being negative, I just hit "delete" and then move on with my life... leaving my Sparkfriends who actually read what I write and who have stood by me over the years wondering "where the heck is Annie?" Sorry about that guys. emoticon

So today, I am putting out an observation that I have had for a long long time. To share it with you and see what you think.

The other night, I watched a 2 hour story about "The 600 Pound Mom". I usually don't watch these kinds of shows but this compelled me because of this doctor helping this woman. The doctor's goal was to get her down to 500 pounds so that she could have bariatric surgery.

The man set her up with a 700 calorie diet - bed scales to monitor her weightloss - constant one on one attention and support.

Did she lose weight? yes she did...but not without difficulty. This difficulty came in the mood swings and diet rage. (something we all can relate too - at least I can, and it compelled me to watch the show more)

Did she follow the doctors order? for a while - heck she lost 100pounds! but with her success also came complacency...and she began cheating the system thinking that just because her "watch-dogs" (ie, her children and the doc was not there 24/7) were not watching her and she was successful, she began to sneak eat. (ahhh....another point I can relate to!! so I keep on watching the show to see how she fares with her weigh-in)...

The bed scales broke eventually.

Weigh-in day at the hospital came.

They got her there and weighed her on a special bed....and to everyone's shock (especially the poor doctor who staked his reputation on his regimine) she gained back over 100 pounds she had lost in the time period of 4 months. She was eating approximately 7000 calories a day.

They thought she was closer to 500 pounds...but she thought she was smarter than the science and used a sprinkle powder on her meals to counter-act the calories. (aahhhh, the quick fix! Been there, done that method too)

To say that the doctor was devastated is an understatement. To say this woman was devastated and shocked is mild. But it was what it was and it was evident that she had a serious serious problem...and eventually, a doctor was found that would do bariatric surgery on her at 689 pounds.

(I'm still watching the program . . and now I'm thinking this: this woman is screwed. I'll get to why later).

So they do the surgery, they get her in rehab....and she leaves it. Flat out discharges herself. Why??? Because they made her work. They made her exercise. They wanted to make her WALK! for Pete's sake! To HELP her. (But evidently, she had her quick fix right?)..and she wanted to go home.

Long story short. She died a month or so later. It was too late for her to be helped.

NOW - here is my take on this whole thing - and it was just touched upon ONCE during the WHOLE ENTIRE PROGRAM by a nutritionist/psychologist lady:

This psychologist came on to say that her issues were too much to handle and if she didn't get help with resolving those long suffering issues, she would never be successful with her weightloss.


DING DING DING DING!!!!! emoticon

A 15 second blip on the tv summed up this entire woman's crisis in a nutshell.

And now - all you Biggest Loser Watcher's out there: what's the turning point for most of the contestants on the show???? Anyone? Buehller? Anyone?

It's when Jillian Michaels is yelling in someone's face about something in their past - confronting their demons - coming face to face with the HARD STUFF that happens in life... and instead of bottling it up inside, they HAVE TO confront it and SAY it because Jillian and Bob aren't going to go away until they do.

It's a process.

It is mental.

It is digging in deep and saying out loud that things hurt, that there has been loss and pain... and that you are worth fixing.

No one is going to do that except you.

Not a pill... Not a doctor prescribing a pill... not a trainer making you do squats... Not a package of food that is delivered in the mail is going to fix things.

The work happens in your head and in your heart, and healing and finding that you are worth loving and being loved.... THAT is where things start to change.

Why did I go and give you this 600 pound mom's story? Because maybe, just maybe, if they started talking and counseling while she was eating those 700 calorie meals, MAYBE she could have made it and stayed at 500 pounds and MAYBE she'd be alive today.

Go find it and watch it online. You will see what I mean while you are watching it.

Why and I telling you about inner demons today? Because more than not, you probably have them...and MAYBE that is what is holding you back in being successful in this whole weightloss journey.

I tried to lose weight for 20 years...and then I learned/realized what my demons were when I hit 35 and had 3 beautiful kids to get healthy for. They deserved a healthy mom with less demons...and while those demons still lurk in the darkest corners, my light is stronger than their darkness.

They say that 95% of people who lose weight eventually gain it all back.

That makes only 5% successful at maintaining.

My wish for you this holiday, it to start your journey on the inside, look deep at what's there, and together, let's make that successful maintaining stat grow... and prove that it can... and WILL be done.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm going to ask a favor from you. Please, don't delete any of your blogs again! I always read your blogs, and even if they're harsh sometimes, I don't mind because an ugly truth doesn't need to be sugar-coated!
    The 600-pound mom's story made me really sad but your approach on the whole story was a great lesson. Our inner demons never disappear but we have to meet them, face them and make our light strong enough to force them to lurk in their darkness.
    The secret lies within.
    1962 days ago
  • KANOE10
    That was an excellent blog. That woman should have had counseling before the surgery. You are right. No one can do it for you. You have to decide yourself to stay on the road to health. I plan on being in that 5 percent who keep my weight off!

    1963 days ago
  • -AMANDA79-
    Great blog!

    P.S. I get pissy too...
    1964 days ago
    ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!!! (sound of applause)
    1964 days ago
    As usual, my friend, you nail it ... to the wall, on the head... the location doesn't so much matter.

    I have had a weight up-creep and I think it has to do with being away from home all year and having the blues and kind of feeling "suspended in Gaffa" (on hold) for the that time... I was soothing my boredom & blues with food.

    Gotta work on that, and get used to being home again... and having all these crazy people around!
    1964 days ago
  • NUMD97
    You must have been reading my mind. I just sent these very same thoughts to a Spark newbie today. This whole process is not about weight loss. It's about self-examination and WHY we got to where we are in the first place.

    One Sparker, whose name I do not recall (but wish I could), noted a while back, that "with each pound lost, a new drawer needs to be examined." This is so incredibly true. In order for this "venture" to be successful, one must shed light into the deep recesses of one's psyche and explore all those dark corners. Not an easy task. But a most necessary one.

    As for your 600 pound woman example, the immediacy of the situation called for drastic measures: She needed to lose enough weight fast enough to get her on an OR table to literally save her life. I totally get what you are saying, but the doctor's intervention in this instant was meant to be life-saving, and immediate. The ancillary stuff to explore her reasons for her excessive weight, could not possibly have been successful in the time frame allotted prior to her surgery. I've made my peace with people who are that morbidly obese who need a crisis intervention. First thing is to keep them alive, and literally save their lives; then afford them the therapy they need to stay at goal weight, even with surgery. It's a crisis intervention in the instance that you describe, and the immediacy of the situation was paramount.

    But I wholeheartedly agree with everything that you said. And don't worry about being brutal. Many have posted similarly in the past. That's the beauty of SP. We can blog, with no holds barred, as long as it's within the guidelines of the SP moderators.

    Thanks for the post, and best of luck as your journey continues,

    1964 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/7/2012 2:20:52 PM
  • EFAY32
    You completed nailed this one on the head. I really enjoyed reading that because it's so completely true. Thanks for sharing. I couldn't agree more. emoticon Oh, and I tend to write and delete posts too. Mostly because I believe they come off way too harsh.
    1964 days ago
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