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Change has to come from within

Friday, December 07, 2012

I began writing this awhile ago as yet another whine about living with someone who doesn’t share our healthy lifestyle goals. I’m referring of course to my 45 year marriage to the junk food king. Then he had a physical, his first in 3 years. His numbers are not horrible, but not the direction you want to be heading at age 68.

My original point was that all we can do is model healthy behavior and hang out here for support when those around us don't provide it.

However, sometimes an outside push or wake-up call is helpful. Without saying anything to me, I notice DH making some subtle changes. I spied him getting on the scale. Hmm.

A few weeks ago I wrote that he actually gave away a package of cupcakes. Just this week I found him reading my book “Eat This not That.” He even commented on the calorie/nutrition content of a “Bloomin Onion.”

Perhaps, this is the start of a long term trend? Or maybe it’s just some early damage control for our upcoming cruise. Either way, it’s a welcome change of direction.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know that so well from first hand experience! For so many years *I* was the person who wasn't ready to change, or at least not ready to hear what was necessary to change!

    My husband doesn't have the healthiest habits either. He's not overweight currently, but he doesn't eat well. Some days he'll eat large portions of high calorie foods (entire pizza!) and then other days he barely eats anything. He says this is how his hunger works though (the days he doesn't eat much he just isn't really hungry) so I don't nag him about it.

    I am thankful for one thing: He'll eat whatever I put in front of him, so if I cook a healthy meal with big portions of vegetables, that's what he eats!!

    I hope your junk food king keeps spying on you and stealing your books!! emoticon
    2021 days ago
    I too am married to a junk food king. And sadly, things are not going well for him. I'm soooo... happy to read that your husband is starting to make changes toward a healthier lifestyle!
    2023 days ago
    2023 days ago
    Either way, it's moving in the right direction. And if he's reading and commenting then the wheels must be spinning. And, of course, your example is the best thing that can happen to him. Give yourself a pat on the back.
    2024 days ago
    Good for your DH and good for you for leading by example. He can only benefit from the wisdom you've accumulated from your experiences living a healthy lifestyle. Great stuff.
    2024 days ago
    Encouragement goes a long way (learned that as a third grade teacher). Was taught to teach discipline by picking out and encouraging those who were doing right rather than harping on the wrongs ("look at Mary waiting so quietly" rather than "shut up, Tom"). It never ceased to amaze me how the kids misbehaving would fall over themselves trying to copy "Mary" the one being praised. When I did point out negative behavior it usually led to a power struggle (seldom changed behavior). In our adult lives, as an example (and usually a "quiet" example), we can do a lot more to change behavior than we know.
    2024 days ago
    Good for your DH! We make our changes on our own timelines, and it sounds as if the time is right for him.
    2024 days ago
    When Junk Food King meets Health Nut Queen if can be intimidating. Seems like he's taking some baby steps in your direction. Encourage him. But. Be subtle. We don't like being told what to do.

    Have you asked him if he'd like to go for a short walk with you? That could be a nice warm up for your training run, so you'd both benefit. My DWs slow paced runs were a great way for us to be together before I continued on for my longer runs.

    Take my suggestions with a grain of salt, my DW says women don't like to be given solutions, or even advice. They just want us to listen.

    2024 days ago
    Bill and I have been together for 13 years, and I haven't always been the health food queen during that time. But I did seriously change my eating and fitness behaviors when I joined SparkPeople, and it has had a gradual impact on him. When he read "Wheat Belly," the change was dramatic. Now if I could only get him to quit smoking and using that heavy cream in recipes! As you say, change has to come from within.
    2024 days ago
  • DEBBY4576
    Reminds me of the day my husband gave up Diet Coke. He read about it on line. What? I'd been off it 3 years, and told him everything he'd read. Another reminder that each of us is responsible for ourselves only. AND...Living a healthy lifestyle ourselves may be why they finally change theirs, even if it's just a little at a time.
    2024 days ago
  • KANOE10
    I hope your husband moves in a healthy direction. It is hard to watch someone making poor choices, but like you say, it must come from within. Those tiny signs you see are good ones.
    2024 days ago
    Glad to hear it. It just takes the right "wake up" call to get started.
    2024 days ago
    Sounds like he may be headed in the right direction! Good luck!
    2024 days ago
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