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Screaming Inside

Friday, December 07, 2012

Starting off with a few gratefuls, I have not gained weight and I'm a bit below my goal. I have a husband and children who love me.

The reason I don't post much here is I'm so terrible at trying to express myself and my mind goes in so many different directions at once it is hard to put it down here.. My mind is in a turmoil over food. How stupid is it that something so simple and yet so complicated rules my life. Well more like I let it rule my life. I was doing good for so long but for the last couple of months I have mostly been eating junk food, it is all I want. I am diabetic and many days I feel sick from all the sugar. I feel so tired and I don't have the energy to exercise. I now have a yeast infection. I have got myself into a viscous circle that I can't seem to make myself get out of. How pitiful am I that I won't help myself. I wish I could be locked away from all the food. How bad does it have to get before I'm willing to help myself? Some days I get up positive to make changes but it doesn't last. Other days I couldn't care less. I need to care. Sorry for this negative post but I need to talk about this. I'm going to try my hardest this day to change my thoughts and feelings and try and be more positive. I'm going to do some exercise and try and control my eating. I promise to come back and say how the day went.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    we all go through theses stages I am in one right now, knowing you are in one, is the first step of getting out and yes saying positives really helps and keeping a journal as Healthy4me said
    1964 days ago
    Is this the post I wasn't supposed to read!!?? LOL HUGS and spark friends are here through thick and thin, and I just sparkfriended you. If I didnt have a few that read every blog, and give it to me straight now, I would be so worse off. and as pixie said writing it out helps... if you don't want to write here, get a notebook etc. I found a pretty yournal didnt let me do it cos didnt want to write sad/bad things in it, but did get a really nice small notbeook ( dollar store but nice cover) and write out 3-5 gratitiudes before I turn out the light every night. maybe they are the same some times, maybe they are small but there is always something.
    HUGS emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1964 days ago
    Sometimes just writing out the negative feelings can be a big help.

    Praying for you! emoticon
    1965 days ago
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